The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict.

  • chance
    University: NJU
    Nationality: China
    November 5, 2019 at 3:11 pm

    TOEFL Writing Topic:  The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict.

    In this day and age, we follow a lot of rules to lead our lives, rules make our social interactions more systematic and ruly, which makes people live in an environment of harmony, and make the fabric of society stable. But is that to say more rules and stricter rules are, the better? My answer is no.

    It should be put out first that the expectations of society on today’s young people are too high, the olds want their successors to fulfill their aspirations that they cannot achieve when they were young, thus they impose numerous rules which seems impenetrable to their heredes. This rules may be, however, unsuitable for the development status of contemporary world. The gaps between how the olds and how the young view the world are sometimes too large for them to understand each other, things that are cherished by young people may be ridiculous to their predecessors, and vice versa. That is why so many unreasonable rules exist, they are intended to eliminate the gaps, but what they indeed do is quite the opposite unfortunately. The way to make this two groups to understand each other is through communicating with and respecting each other.

    On top of that, too much strict rules will strangle creativities. Throughout the human history, it is clear that creative times are free times, Renaissance gave birth to a bunch of great artists who influenced the later ages for hundreds of years, whereas the medieval ages blocked the development of science, art and literature. Thus, to make the world more colorful, less and flexible rules are of vital importance.

    However, it is undeniable that basic rules are still and will always be necessary for the prosperity of our society. Moral codes and the ability to discriminate what’s right and what’s wrong can never be distorted, no matter how eager we are to get rid of the constraints of fussy social rules.

    In conclusion, rules are indispensable to maintain our society in a state of peaceful and steady advances, but there is no need to set countless exhaustive and redundant restrictions.

     

    November 11, 2019 at 4:08 am

    Score: 62.8

    Recommendations:

    1. Almost half of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten or split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.