Do you agree or disagree? The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Do you agree or disagree? The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • Hive
    University: Wuhan University
    Nationality: China
    July 26, 2020 at 1:48 pm

    Do you agree or disagree? The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Every time I hear negtive news about teenagers, I know this will once again spur a long-lasting session of heated debate on whether this society is exceedingly tolerant to teenagers. Some would assert that young people need to be cared by love rather than restricted by rules. On the contrary, I deem that statement a spoiling love for teens. Rules today, instead of being too strict, are far too lax for young people.

    The loose restrictions nowadays are leading adolescences to getting away from their normal trajectory of growth. It is known to us all that in China, an enormous quantity of juvenile crimes occur every year but few of these teenagers get what they should have paid for what they did. A staggering example is the punishment on a young murder who kills his mother. He was freed after only months of being in the prison and being educated. And all of these attribute to the inproper rules. The rules which was created on the purpose of protecting kids now reversely spoiling them by signifying that you can be protected by these rules even if you have made an unforgivable mistake. That is to say ,these lax punishment in the rules are making an adverse impact on the cognition of young people.

    In additon, the current rules are not strict at all if we take the fierce competition nowadays into account. Once I failed applying an internship for a company but another boy made it. Later on, I querried the interviewer and found that boy‘s resume was in better typesetting, which implicitly indicated that he underwent a more strict rule than I did before preparing for the internship application. As you can see, strict rules are of paramount importance in terms of the cultivation of kids’ good habits and competence, which will help them more prominent and get the last victory in the competition.

    In a word, being aware of that to some extent rules actually influence the cognition and the ability of a kid, the contemporary rules is far from being restrict for young people.

    July 27, 2020 at 9:11 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Article errors
    2. Wordy – remove unnecessary words
    3. Verb form errors
    4. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    5. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Hive
    University: Wuhan University
    Nationality: China
    July 28, 2020 at 8:52 am

    When news about teenager crimes emerges, a long-lasting session of heated debate on whether this society is exceedingly tolerant to teenagers will be spurred. Some would assert that young people need more attention and care rather than strict rules. On the contrary, I deem the excessive tolerance a spoiling love for teens. Restrictions today, instead of being too strict, are far too lax for young people.

     

    The loose restrictions nowadays cannot effectively restrict juveniles when they have done something illegal. It is known to us all that in China, an enormous quantity of juvenile crimes arises every year but few of these teenagers pay for what they have done. A staggering example is the verdict of a young murder who killed his mother. He was released after only two years of prison sentences. It happened because of the improper rules. The rules which were originally created to protect kids now reversely are spoiling them. That is to say, no matter how unforgivable a kid’s mistake is, he can still get away from punishment. Therefore, these lax restrictions of the rules are misleading young people and making an adverse impact on their cognition.

     

    In addition, considering the fierce competition in the society, the existing rules are not strict at all. In my sophomore year, my roommate compelled himself to get up at 5 A.M. every day. He made it a routine to practice oral English in the morning. In contrast, I got up at any time I wished. Nevertheless, when we were competing for the same internship opportunity, his advantage of fluent spoken English over me contributed to his victory. As you can see, strict rules are of paramount importance in a person’s life. They propel kids to nurture good habits and virtue, which will help them be more prominent and successful in the competition.

     

    In a word, being aware of that to some extent rules essentially influence the cognition and the ability of a kid, I think contemporary rules are far from being strict for young people.

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