Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • joe is zhou123
    University: university
    Nationality: China
    November 15, 2020 at 5:42 am

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Being a controversial issue, young people has aroused a great deal attention in public and triggers a heated discussion over whether the rules in today are too strict to young people. Some people state that young people should obey and follow these suitable rules. However, in my perspective, I do think the rules in today are too strict for young people.

     

    To begin with, the rules that relatively loose will be conducive for young people to have various possibilities in future. To be more specific, as the technology and society roars, this world has already allowed diversified development coexist. Young people have more than one way to achieve their goal instead of obeying the outdated and strict rules, such as traditional education. In past, all young people have to go to school and receive traditional education according to teachers and textbooks. But today, many young people can also become successful by other ways. For example, many young people who don’t obey and follow rules choose to become a professional E-sport game player to become famous.

     

    Secondly, the strict rules will not be beneficial for young people to cultivate ingenious thinking. To explain it much further, not only the strict rules on expression will harm the freedom of speech,but also do the rules will impede progress of the technology. People are encouraged to express some certain and same point that obey the rules, and some individual but interesting views will be punished by the strict rules. Therefore, it’s more likely to restrict the ingenuity of human. By contrast, some great inventions in today were created  by some young people who don’t follow the mainstream.

     

    Admittedly, some strict rules do can prevent the young who don’t require the ability to distinguish something bad err from right path. But, the strict rules can’t control every situation. It’s more important for young people to cultivate their self-discipline.

     

    In a conclusion, the young people in today need some looser rules, which can provide a fertile ground to show their talent and diversity.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    November 20, 2020 at 3:32 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Preposition errors
    3. Article errors
    4. Verb form errors

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    joe is zhou123
    University: university
    Nationality: China
    November 22, 2020 at 8:32 am

    Being a controversial issue, young people have aroused a great deal of attention in public and triggers a heated discussion over whether today’s rules are too strict for young people. Some people state that young people should obey and follow these strict rules. However, in my perspective, I do think the rules today are too strict for young people.

    Firstly, the rules that relatively loose will be conducive for young people to have various possibilities in the future. As the technology and society roars, this world has already allowed diversified development coexist to be more specific. Young people have more than one way to achieve their goal instead of obeying the outdated and strict rules, such as traditional education. In the past, all young people have to go to school and receive conventional education according to teachers and textbooks. But today, many young people can also become successful according to other ways. For example, many young people who don’t obey and follow the rules choose to become professional E-sport game players to become famous.

     

    Secondly, strict rules will not be beneficial for young people to cultivate ingenious thinking. To explain it much further, not only strict rules on expression will harm the freedom of speech,but also do the rules will impede advance of the technology. People are encouraged to express some certain and same point that obey the rules, and the strict rules will punish some individual but interesting views. Therefore, it’s more likely to restrict human’s ingenuity. By contrast, some grand inventions today are created by some young people who don’t follow the mainstream.

    Admittedly, some strict rules can prevent the young who don’t require the ability to distinguish something bad err from the right path. But, strict rules can’t control every situation. It’s more important for young people to cultivate their self-discipline.

    In conclusion, today’s young people need some looser rules, which can provide a fertile ground to show their talent and diversity.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    November 23, 2020 at 8:18 pm

    Score: 51.1

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Article errors
    4. Rewrite the introduction – instead of just restating the prompt, outline your argument and support it shortly.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.