The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • Alex Yang
    University: Beijing University of Posts and Telecommunications
    Nationality: China
    December 17, 2020 at 11:48 am

    The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Regardless of the culture background and history, any current existing country needs the social rules that need its citizens to obey. But the controversy rises up when it comes to the extent of the rules. Some academics argue it’s to strict but from my perspective, the social regulation is not as strict as they claim.

    To begin with, one has to deal with the rules no matter under what circumstances. Students should show their respect to their teachers, employees should complete the mission they are assigned. We are getting accustomed to the rules just after we born. Every family will set up some basic family rules, including the table manners or the time to go to bed. The rules, according to my comprehension, ensure the smooth operating of any organization.

    What’s more, a current rules must get the understanding and support from most members of a society. That is to say, a nation’s rules must root in its culture and history. For example, some muslin countries may prohibit its citizens to have pork. Such seemingly strange costume is due to their desert environment, which forces them to avoid having any meat that may incur the potential disease. A rule that looks too strict in an outlander’s eye may encompass a rational and profound reason.

    Admittedly there always exists some stale and out-dated rules in any country, and that requires our endeavor to remove them. Take China as an example, females there were once ordered to wrap a cloth on their feet just as a decoration, despite the horrible injury to their health. Such ruthless custom was totally banned by the government after the People’s Republic of China had set up.

    Considering all these reasons I list above, because the necessity of the rules and the people’s strong willing to remove these inappropriate rules, we can think logically that the current rules are not too strict for youngster to bear.

    December 18, 2020 at 2:00 am

     

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. In consideration of sentence coherence, the subject of a sentence better echoes the subject, or the object, of the prior sentence. The subject of a passive sentence, however, often fails to do so, which severely damages the logical flow between sentences.
    2. Lots of grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.