The spread of multinational companies and globalization produces positive effects on everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing The spread of multinational companies and globalization produces positive effects on everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • Rachel Lang
    University: haven't go to university
    Nationality: Chinese
    September 27, 2020 at 1:25 am

    The spread of multinational companies and globalization produces positive effects on everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    Because of the popularization and higher public profile, the attention paid on country economy gives and increasing trend. For the international trading, some people hold the idea that it can bring beneficial to all people, however, in my view, I do not agree with big extent.

    Above all, the increasing of foreign company will bring more challenges to domestic firms. We need to think this situation separately, to have a comprehensive view for analysing an opinion is quit important. For firms which provides goods and services in country, the increasing number in companies in industry will incredibly rise the level of competition, which may lead to bankrupt for smaller ones. Meanwhile, foreign companies also threaten the country’s international states, that is mainly because the exchange rate is highly connected with domestic production and economic situation, the more foreign goods consumers rely on, the less influences the country has. Even worse, it may lead to danger situation for the county, this is because the foreign company control the industry chain and is easy for them to change the price due to the monopoly. Thus leads to a fall in exchange rate and result series unavoidable consequences such us the dramatic price of the good and it is hard to adjust due to the dependence of domestic consumers.

    However, not all effects are negative, globalization can let low development country learn from others and improve their technology level so that can have better future, as well as increase the variety of goods.

    Overall, the mixing of different countries’ companies can bring benefits, but we need to measure its size, whether if they beyond the capacity, so that we can have a wide view and clear thought.

    October 1, 2020 at 2:37 am

    Score: 47.7

    Issues:

    1. About 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Lengthy paragraph. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.