The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.
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July 11, 2021 at 4:01 pm
The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.
For a long, people have debated intensively on the rubrics of how established a nation is. Though the statement provided proclaims that the general welfare of people, which overwhelms other criteria, should be considered the primary focus, I am not fully contending with this viewpoint which is somehow one-sided and static.
Admittedly, people’s livelihood arrives to be instrumental when measuring an administration’s efficacy. Providing that democracy is the mainstream of the contemporary world, citizens endowed with welfare programs, for instance, public health care, life insurance, and fund rebates, are actual beneficiaries of well-behaved institutions. Nations that could sustain these boons could therefore gain ardent support from their people as electors, who safeguard and guarantee the stability of their societies. Countries whose citizens are deprived of basic welfare and human rights are likely to respond to their governments by rebelling. The so-called “failing states” have deteriorated due to upheavals ignited by civil discontentment resulting from insufficient input into civil affairs. Therefore, in a way, countries that could ensure the decency and dignity of their citizens in reverse enhance their capacity of governing and sustain a consistent pattern of their ruling, which once again manifests stable and efficient policies to citizens.
However, it is somewhat unlikely to neglect the essentiality of political, cultural, and scientific advancements. Notwithstanding that they have stretched too far from civil petitions, they could vitalize society as an integral. Newtonian principles fostered the Industrial Revolution, which also conceived the British hegemony, which is more than crude brutality. Disney animators during the Great Depression, along with a charismatic president, improved the morale of discouraging American nationals, redirected the country at blue to its manifest destiny. Enlightened artists and scientists, and diligent leaders are all eminent mortars that build up a respectful nation. They are the propellers of a more productive and harmonious world, whose legacies could nourish society in different aspects, providing their fellow countrymen with material welfare and spiritual inspirations. Their presence as precursors embodies the nation’s bargaining power concerning soft power, which is also a core constituent of a country’s measurement of competitiveness.
It is discernible that an attractive country should have paid emphasis on its citizen’s welfare. And I concede that a responsible government should agilely prioritize its livelihood issues. Meanwhile, other indicators of a society’s overall fulfillment, namely advancements in various realms of politics, science, and art, are also essential to invest in for their being as superstructural upholding that could forward progress in properly enlarging and distributing welfare people’s. Therefore a static stance on prioritizing people’s interest as the first indicator of a nation’s strength is metaphysical yet disapproval. Other factors that matter to the whole picture should also remain on the prime menu of concern.
July 13, 2021 at 12:37 pmFor a long[ incomplete ], people have debated intensively on the rubrics of how established a nation is[ grammatical error ]. Though the statement provided[ grammatical error ] proclaims that the general welfare of people, which overwhelms other (criteria)[ unclear ], should be considered[ unnecessary passive ] the primary focus[ what focus? ], I (am not fully contending with)[ wordy ] this viewpoint which[ incorrect pronoun ] is somehow one-sided and static[ unclear ].
Admittedly, people’s livelihood arrives to be instrumental when measuring an administration’s efficacy. Providing that democracy is the mainstream of the contemporary world, citizens endowed with welfare programs, for instance, public health care, life insurance, and fund rebates, are actual beneficiaries of well-behaved institutions. Nations that could sustain these boons could therefore gain ardent support from their people as electors, who safeguard and guarantee the stability of their societies. Countries whose citizens are deprived of basic welfare and human rights are likely to respond to their governments by rebelling. The so-called “failing states” have deteriorated due to upheavals ignited by civil discontentment resulting from insufficient input into civil affairs. Therefore, in a way, countries that could ensure the decency and dignity of their citizens in reverse enhance their capacity of governing and sustain a consistent pattern of their ruling, which once again manifests stable and efficient policies to citizens.
However, it is somewhat unlikely to neglect the essentiality of political, cultural, and scientific advancements. Notwithstanding that they have stretched too far from civil petitions, they could vitalize society as an integral. Newtonian principles fostered the Industrial Revolution, which also conceived the British hegemony, which is more than crude brutality. Disney animators during the Great Depression, along with a charismatic president, improved the morale of discouraging American nationals, redirected the country at blue to its manifest destiny. Enlightened artists and scientists, and diligent leaders are all eminent mortars that build up a respectful nation. They are the propellers of a more productive and harmonious world, whose legacies could nourish society in different aspects, providing their fellow countrymen with material welfare and spiritual inspirations. Their presence as precursors embodies the nation’s bargaining power concerning soft power, which is also a core constituent of a country’s measurement of competitiveness.
It is discernible that an attractive country should have paid emphasis on its citizen’s welfare. And I concede that a responsible government should agilely prioritize its livelihood issues. Meanwhile, other indicators of a society’s overall fulfillment, namely advancements in various realms of politics, science, and art, are also essential to invest in for their being as superstructural upholding that could forward progress in properly enlarging and distributing welfare people’s. Therefore a static stance on prioritizing people’s interest as the first indicator of a nation’s strength is metaphysical yet disapproval. Other factors that matter to the whole picture should also remain on the prime menu of concern.
July 13, 2021 at 12:40 pmPartial revision [Unclear writing; lots of grammatical errors].
July 13, 2021 at 2:02 pmThrough the ages, people have debated over the rubrics which measure how well-established a nation is. Though the statement provided proclaims that the general welfare of people should outweigh other criteria, I reckon this viewpoint is one-sided.
Admittedly, we cannot term a country great if widespread discontent rages. Countries that endow their citizens with low unemployment rates, health care services, and mature education systems indeed have advantages over the failing states plagued by impoverishment, famine, and economic stagnation. Those born in failing states will resort to unscrupulous deals under the threat of rampant corruption, which are fatal to developing a decent nation. Possible insurgency outbreaks in the failing states prevent the government from consistent development, and people native to the country will not find themselves worthy. The ongoing upheavals in Haiti and Burma further manifest the essentiality of people’s volition and welfare. Therefore, providing general welfare to its people is vital since it simultaneously requires the institution’s overall stability.
However, it is also unwilling to neglect the necessity of advancing in politics, arts, and science. Notwithstanding that these superstructures have stretched too far from civil petitions, they have indeed fostered improving general welfare in a disruptive manner. In the 17th century, Newtonian principles bred the Industrial Revolution and conceived the British hegemony, which gave a welcome fillip to an average British. During the Great Depression, F.D.Roosevelt, Shirland Temple, and many others engaged in politics and art performance aroused the morale of discouraged American workers and redirected the country to its manifest destiny. Diligent leaders, artists, and scientists are propellers of a more productive and optimistic society. Also, their presence as well-renowned role models enhances the nation’s power of discourse, which is also a core constituent to measure the greatness of a nation.
It is indubitable that a country striving for its prestige should pay emphasis on its citizen’s welfare. And I concede that a responsible government should agilely prioritize its livelihood issues. Meanwhile, other indicators of a society’s overall fulfillment are also profitable to invest in for their significance in improving people’s welfare. Therefore a definite claim that the general welfare overrides other indicators of a nation is fallacious. We should also put other factors that matter to the whole picture as benchmarks.
July 14, 2021 at 10:00 amThrough the ages, people have debated over (delete) the rubrics (word choice error) which measure how well-established a nation is (use similar wording to the question). Though the statement provided proclaims that the general welfare of people should outweigh other criteria, I reckon this viewpoint is one-sided (too vague, clearly state your opinion/argument).
Admittedly, we cannot term (word choice error) a country great if widespread discontent rages. Countries that endow their citizens (delete) with low unemployment rates, robust health care services, and mature (word choice error) education systems indeed (delete) have advantages over the (delete) failing states plagued by impoverishment, famine, and economic stagnation. Those born in failing states will resort to unscrupulous deals under the threat of rampant corruption, which are fatal to developing a decent nation (reword). Possible insurgency outbreaks in the (delete) failing states prevent the government (governments) from consistent development, and people native to the country will not find themselves worthy (simplify). The ongoing upheavals in Haiti and Burma further manifest the essentiality of people’s volition and welfare (simplify word choice, this reads as words picked out of a thesaurus). Therefore, providing general welfare to its people (citizens) is vital since it simultaneously requires the institution’s overall stability (unclear what this means).
However, it is also unwilling (reword, be more specific what is “it”?) to neglect the necessity of advancing in (delete) politics, arts, and science. Notwithstanding that these superstructures have stretched too far from civil petitions (word choice error), they have indeed fostered improving general welfare in a disruptive manner. In the 17th century, Newtonian principles bred the Industrial Revolution and conceived the (delete) British hegemony, which gave a welcome fillip to an average British (stimulus to the average Brit). During the Great Depression, F.D.Roosevelt, Shirland Temple, and many others engaged in politics and art performance (unclear what this means) aroused the morale of discouraged American workers and redirected the country to its manifest destiny. Diligent leaders, artists, and scientists are propellers of a more productive and optimistic society. Also, their presence as well-renowned role models enhances the nation’s power of discourse, which is also a core constituent (word choice error) to measure the greatness of a nation.
It is indubitable that a country striving for its prestige should pay (put) emphasis on its citizen’s welfare. And I concede that a responsible government should agilely (word choice error) prioritize its livelihood issues (word choice error). Meanwhile, other indicators of a society’s overall fulfillment are also profitable to invest in for their significance in improving people’s welfare (simplify). Therefore a definite claim that the (delete) general welfare overrides other indicators of a nation is fallacious (simplify to false). We should also put other factors that matter to the whole picture as benchmarks (simplify).
(Simplify your writing to make it clearer, do not rely on a thesaurus to complicate your language as it makes it more difficult for the reader to understand, clearly state your argument early and do not be afraid to use the same language as the prompt/question)
Final Revision
July 25, 2021 at 3:04 pmFinal revision
