Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Other, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Other, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

  • Will Julian
    University: Sun-Yat Sen University
    Nationality: China
    March 2, 2021 at 3:02 pm

    Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. 

    In modern justice system, how to impose punishments on crimes has become an increasing controversial issue. People’s opinions differ on whether to take a fixed punishment or having more consideration. Personally, I prefer to consider other things before conviction.

    The supporters of fixed punishments may resort to strict laws to detain people from committing crimes. When citizens will face the same punishment regardless of specific conditions, they are more likely to confront to laws. For example, if people would be sentenced to death just for stealing 100 dollars, they must be reluctant to do theft.

    Conversely, an opposite view is that other factors like motivation and circumstance should be accounted before decision. And People’s behaviors are quite sophisticated because in some cases they may do against law out of proper reasons. For instance, if people killed some accidentally in order to get rid of danger, it definitely should not be regarded as an intentional crime, nor convicted in the same way.

    In my opinion, there are many factors worth to be taken into account before deciding the punishment, like criminal record. If someone have ever broken laws for many times, he or she are supposed to be punished much more severely to strengthen the role to law as a deterrent.

    Overall, both views about fixed punishment have its values and downsides and it both aims at protecting the rule of law in our country. Considering social reality, flexible conviction based on a well-rounded consideration of various factors would be more suitable.

    March 3, 2021 at 6:58 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 50% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
    3. Unclarity due to grammatical/logical problems

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.