To be successful in business, companies must put more money in advertising.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing To be successful in business, companies must put more money in advertising.

  • Terrell
    University: Nanchang University
    Nationality: China
    May 27, 2020 at 10:57 am

    To be successful in business, companies must put more money in advertising.

    In contemporary society, according to the investigation conducted by the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, 56% of enterprises allocate vast sums of money to advertise their products or services. Under the circumstance, a vast majority of individuals may claim that commercial advertising is an indispensable part of business operation  to succeed. Personally, I am in favor of the fact that other ingredients of companies, such as products’ quality and after-sales services, will be more crucial than ads.

    Admittedly, some assert that ads can grow brand awareness and attract more customers. To illustrate, ads in digital and traditional media provide potential buyers with some opportunities to understand products and services. Through this way, delicate ads pictures will catch customers’ eyes and urge them to purchase. For instance, when watching TV shows, I always glimpse some smartphone introductions and recommendations. If I would like to supplant my phone at that time, I will open the website to understand these products possessing novel functions. Although I still will go to know other phones, the one displaying in the TV show has become my prior option. Therefore, ads are conducive for companies to propagandize their products or services and then attain more potential customers.

    Nevertheless, excessive ads investment may make companies in a dangerous situation. It is a common phenomenon now that quality and creativity are the foundation of enterprises instead of publicity. Just imagine, does the company investing most of their revenue into ads have funds and energy to develop their products or services? The answer is obvious. The contemporary world is changing and innovative at all time. Once firms ignore and even abandon quality and innovation, they will rapidly be eliminated by competitors. For another thing, according to a set of psychological research, people have higher requirements for familiar objects. The research result means that people frequently viewing products by ads will have more stringent requirements than others because they have been familiar with these products. On the contrary, once the product is the scarcity of superb quality and novel functions, customers are likely to give it up.

    May 29, 2020 at 3:04 am

    Score: 47.2

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 35% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Terrell
    University: Nanchang University
    Nationality: China
    June 5, 2020 at 12:40 pm

    In contemporary society, according to the investigation conducted by the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, 56% of enterprises allocate vast sums of money to advertise their products or services. Under the circumstance, a vast majority of individuals may claim that commercial advertising is an indispensable part of business operation  to succeed. Personally, however, I am in favor of the fact that other ingredients of companies, such as products’ quality and after-sales services, will be more crucial than ads, and I will demonstrate my reasons as follows.

    Admittedly, some assert that ads can grow brand awareness and attract more customers. To illustrate, ads in digital and traditional media provide potential buyers with some opportunities to understand products and services. Through this way, delicate ads pictures will catch customers’ eyes and urge them to purchase. For instance, when watching TV shows, I always glimpse some smartphone introductions and recommendations. If I would like to supplant my phone at that time, I will open the website to understand these products possessing novel functions. Although I still will go to know other phones, the one displaying in the TV show has become my prior option. Therefore, ads are conducive for companies to propagandize their products or services and then attain more potential customers.

    Nevertheless, excessive ads’ investment may make companies in a dangerous situation. It is a common phenomenon now that both quality and creativity are the foundation of enterprises instead of publicity. Just imagine, does the company investing most of its revenue into ads have funds and energy to develop their products or services? The answer is obvious. The contemporary world is changing and innovative at all time. Once firms ignore and even abandon quality and innovation, peer competitors will eliminate them rapidly. For another thing, according to a set of psychological research, people have higher requirements for familiar objects than for others. The research result means that people frequently viewing products by ads will have more stringent requirements than others because they have been familiar with these products. On the contrary, once the product is the scarcity of gorgeous/superb quality and novel functions, customers are likely to give it up.

    June 5, 2020 at 3:52 pm

    You need to shorten all paragraphs and add an ending paragraph.