To increase enrollment and solve the problem of budget deficits at Humana University, we should initiate and actively promote online degree programs

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing To increase enrollment and solve the problem of budget deficits at Humana University, we should initiate and actively promote online degree programs

  • Matabo
    University: NTUST
    Nationality: Taiwan
    August 22, 2020 at 2:54 pm

    Argument – to increase enrollment and solve the problem of budget deficits at Humana University, we should initiate and actively promote online degree programs

     

    The following is part of a memorandum from the president of Humana University.

    “Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because online instruction takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased. Thus, to increase enrollment and solve the problem of budget deficits at Humana University, we should initiate and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni.”

    Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

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    The president of Human University claims that offering online degree programs can increase enrollment and be the solution to budget deficits. The conclusion is based on the observation that the number of enrollment in online degree programs of nearby Omni University increased significantly last year, and its decrease in the expenditure for dormitory and classroom space. However, the assumptions that the argument depends on are not convincing.

    To begin with, the president of Human University assumes that the online degree program will attract more students because of the experience of Omni University. But it’s questionable if the same success can be duplicated if the situation of the two universities is different. Perhaps the degrees provided by Omni University are ideal for the online course. For example, the lectures about computer science or history can effectively be conducted through the Internet, and there are plentiful online resources for students to do e-learning. In contrast, the degree of architecture or music requires more frequent face-to-face discussion and field works; thus, the online course would not be attractive and perhaps would even cast negative impacts on enrollment rate.

    Secondly, the correlation between increased online degree enrollment and dormitory and classroom space needs is not clear. The passage lacks information about the original number of non-online degree enrollment and the number after online degree programs started. Perhaps online degree programs attract extra students without affecting the amount of non-online ones. In the account, the demands of the classroom and dorms will remain the same, and the lower expenditures are due to other factors.

    Last but not least, the president believes that online degree programs help to cut the cost of building maintenance and solve the problem of budget deficits. However, he ignores the ensuing cost of online courses. The university will need to upgrade and purchase a great number of devices, such as computers and microphones, to provide reliable and decent-quality online learning experience. As a result, the expense of online degrees may be even higher than those for buildings.

    August 27, 2020 at 2:14 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Wordy – remove unnecessary words and sentences

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.