To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.
-
May 8, 2020 at 5:00 am
To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.
From the humble beginning of civilizations to the flourishing of digital information, human has formed the most complicated, interactive, and ever-changing societies ever created on earth. Throughout the process of their establishment, different geographical properties of the origins and historical evolutions created a great variety of societies with unique characteristics. For sociologists, identifying the most important characteristics of which is intriguing yet very difficult due to the subjective nature of the topic.
Large gatherings of people from the same society constructed its major cities. Based on this, one may easily come up with the statement that they have to be studied to interpret the most essential characteristics of a society. The statement links major cities and the most important characteristics of a society, which is falsehood and has several logical flaws. In fact, there are situations that studying the major cities may not only keeps the essence of society away but misleads to totally different conclusions about the properties of society.
One obvious reason for the major cities’ failure to exhibit the societies’ characteristics is the cultural influence of one other society. Every year hundreds of “Anime”—Japanese cartoon pouring into western society creating very untraditional cultural phenomena like annual Japanese comic cons and integrated Japanese style English on lots of online forums. A sociologist who knows little about a western society may look at the crowds on comic cons and assume the most important characteristics of a society is “loving anime” since every major city have a great number of anime lovers. But this assumption is false since it only represents a few participants in the major cities. In the majority of less populated areas, anime-related events are much less common, and traditional characteristics of the society are much more well preserved and exhibited.
This leads to another factor that people’s behaviour in major cities does not always display the core values of a society. American society has numerous infamous scandals about discrimination against some races. This “melting pot” absorbs immigrants from a lot of other nations, and most of them are active in the major cities, and these places are where most hate crimes are reported. Taking the epidemic of COVID-19, for example, Asians are facing severe violent behaviours in the major cities by the news. These facts seem to lead to the conclusion that American society is hostile and the basic characteristics of which is “hate”, which is far from the truth if we look at the overall peaceful territory.
When we try to study the collective behaviour of a certain group, it is always suggested to make sure a representative sample is selected. Major cities can sometimes be a great subject to reflect a society’s values, but subjective opinions can sometimes be false and there are times that not studying major cities can contribute greatly to the study of the most important characteristics.
May 8, 2020 at 10:17 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- About 80% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
May 12, 2020 at 1:02 pmFrom the humble beginning of civilizations to the flourishing of digital information, human has formed the most complex, interactive, and ever-changing societies ever created on earth. Throughout the process of their establishment, different geographical properties of the origins and historical evolutions created different social structures with unique characteristics. For sociologists, identifying the most critical characteristics of which is intriguing yet challenging due to the subjective nature of the topic.
Large gatherings of people from similar backgrounds formed the major cities. Based on this, one may state that they must be studied to interpret the essential characteristics. The statement links the primary cities and the decisive attribute of the community, which is falsehood and has several logical flaws. Studying the major cities may not only keep the essence away but could mislead to totally different conclusions.
One obvious reason for the major cities’ failure to exhibit the characteristics is the cultural influence of one other. Every year hundreds of “Anime”—Japanese cartoon pouring into the western world, creating very untraditional cultural phenomena like annual Japanese comic cons and integrated Japanese style English on lots of online forums. A sociologist who knows little about western culture may look at the crowds on comic cons and assume that most people have similar values as Japan here since major cities have a great number of anime lovers. But this assumption is false since it only represents a few participants. In the majority of less populated areas, Japanese-related events are much less common, and the traditional European characteristics are much more well preserved and exhibited.
The incident also leads to another factor that people’s behavior in large cities does not always display the core values of a society. America has numerous infamous scandals about discrimination against some races. This “melting pot” absorbs immigrants from other nations and has very few native residents. Most migrants are active in the main cities, where most hate crimes happen. Taking the epidemic of COVID-19, Asians are facing severe violent behaviors in the major cities by the news. The facts seem to lead to the conclusion that America is hostile and the defining characteristics of which is “hate”. This is far from the truth if we look at the overall peaceful territory, where lots of different races get along.
When we try to study the collective behavior of a group, a representative specimen has to be selected. Major cities cannot always be a subject sample to reflect a collective value. Depending on situations, not studying major cities can contribute to the study of the most vital characteristics of a society.
May 13, 2020 at 4:13 pmScore: 40.9
From the humble beginning of civilizations to the flourishing of digital information [ unparalleled in concept/beginning-flourishing ], (human has)[word form/verb error ] formed the most complex, interactive, and ever-changing societies ever created on earth. [redundant/formed-created; confusing/the most among what? ]Throughout the process of their[ unclear pronoun ] establishment, different geographical properties of (the origins and historical evolutions)[unclear ] created different social structures with unique characteristics. For sociologists, identifying the most critical characteristics of which[unclear pronoun ] is intriguing yet challenging due to the subjective nature of the topic.[fail to present a clear thesis in response to the prompt ]
Large gatherings of people from similar backgrounds formed the major cities[ absolute statement ]. Based on this[unclear pronoun ], one may state that they[unclear pronoun ] must be studied [ passive ]to interpret (the essential characteristics)[unclear ]. The statement links the primary cities and the decisive attribute of the community, which is falsehood and has [ unparalleled ]several logical flaws. Studying the major cities may not only keep the essence away [unclear ]but could mislead[wrong word ] to totally different conclusions.
One obvious reason for the major cities’ failure to exhibit the characteristics is the cultural influence of one other[unclear ]. Every year hundreds of “Anime”—Japanese cartoon [ punctuation error ]pouring[ grammatical error ] into the western world, creating
veryuntraditional cultural phenomena like annual Japanese comic cons and integrated Japanese style English on lots of online forums.[ very wordy ] A sociologist who knows little about western culture may look at the crowds on comic cons and assume that most people have similar values as Japan here since major cities have a great number of anime lovers. [wordy/unclear ]But this assumption is false since it only represents a few participants. In the majority of less populated areas, Japanese-related events are much less common, and the[article error ] traditional European characteristics are much more well preserved and exhibited.The incident[ unclear word ] also leads to another factor that people’s behavior in large cities does not always display the core values of a society. [wordy/unclear ]America has numerous infamous scandals about discrimination against some races. This “melting pot” absorbs immigrants from other nations and has very few native residents. Most migrants are active in the [ article error ]main cities, where most hate crimes happen[ grammatical error ]. Taking the epidemic of COVID-19 as an example, Asians are facing severe violent behaviors in the major cities (by the news)[ unclear]. The facts seem to lead to the conclusion that America is hostile and the defining characteristics of which is “hate”. This is far from the truth if we look at the overall peaceful territory, where lots of different races get along.
When we try to study the collective behavior of a group, a representative specimen has to be selected. Major cities cannot always be a subject sample to reflect a collective value. Depending on situations, not studying major cities can contribute to the study of the most vital characteristics of a society.
