Today’s parents are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past.
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October 11, 2020 at 8:45 am
Today’s parents are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past.
When it comes to the topic that in which period of time parents are more involved in children’s education, some people argue that the parents in the past truly emphasis their children’s education, claiming that nowadays parents are too busy to take care of their children’s learning. However, it is not convincing enough for me to agree with them. Personally speaking, modern parents actually concentrate more on their children’s studies. Reasons are followed.
First of all, modern technology enables parents to take part in their children’s studying. With the advent of technology, smart phones like iphones, allow users to install various apps, which are used by students to learn English words. And parents could easily check the record of these apps to see whether children finish their daily tasks. The internet is also utilized by parents to learn educational methods and download valuable learning materials for kids to digest.Thus, chances guaranteed by modern technology promote parents’ participation in children’s education.
Secondly, parents today are educated enough to realize the significance of youngsters’ education. It is generally acknowledged that people’s education background is directly connected to their attitude towards the education of their offspring. To be more specific, the more they are educated, the more they emphasize receiving education. In this case, today’s parents tend to spend a large amount of time and energy encouraging their children to learn. It is quite common that in China and America one of the parents quits the job or changes to an easier one in order to better accompany kids and help them to learn.
To conclude, I believe that today’s parents have more involvement in children’s education. Parents today are more well-educated and it’s more convenient for parents to join in their children’s education through modern technology.
Score: ungraded
Issues:
- About 40% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
- Wordy – remove unnecessary words
- Rewrite introduction – state your argument clearly and provide some reasoning for it.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
October 13, 2020 at 1:22 pmNowadays, the topic about parents’ involvement in children’s education has a heated discussion. Some people argue that parents in the past definitely emphasize their children’s education, claiming that parents today are too busy to take care of their children’s learning. However, it is not convincing enough for me to agree with them. Personally speaking, modern parents concentrate more on their children’s studies. Reasons are as follows.
First of all, modern technology enables parents to take part in their children’s education. With the advent of technology, smart phones allow users to install various apps that could help students learn English words. And parents could clearly check the record of these apps to see whether children finish their daily tasks. Parents can also utilize the Internet to learn educational methods and download valuable learning materials for kids to digest. Thus, chances guaranteed by modern technology promote parents’ participation in children’s education.
Secondly, parents today are educated enough to realize the significance of youngsters’ education. It is generally acknowledged that people’s education background is directly connected to their attitude towards their offspring’s education. To be more specific, the more they are educated, the more they emphasize receiving education. In this case, today’s parents tend to spend abundant time and energy, encouraging their children to learn. For example, it is quite common that in China and America, one of the parents quits the job or changes to an easier one to better accompany kids and help them learn. Therefore, parents indeed contribute a lot for their children’s education.
To conclude, I believe that today’s parents have more involvement in children’s education. Both advanced technology and good education background allow parents to better focus on their children’s education. Plus, they are truly willing to pay attention to their children’s study.
Score: 41.9
Issues:
- About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
- Simplify introduction – it is too wordy. Clearly state your argument.
- Word choice errors
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
October 15, 2020 at 2:24 pmNowadays, the topic concerning parents’ involvement in children’s education has a heated discussion. Some people argue that parents in the past emphasized their children’s education, claiming that today’s parents are too busy to take care of their children’s learning. However, it is not convincing enough for me to agree with them. Personally speaking, modern parents concentrate more on their children’s studies. The reasons are as follows.
First of all, modern technology enables parents to take part in their children’s education. With the advent of technology, smartphones allow users to install various apps that help students learn English words. And parents could check the record of these apps to see whether children finish their daily tasks. Parents can also utilize the Internet to learn educational methods and download valuable learning materials for their kids to digest. Thus, today’s parents have high possibility to participate in their children’s education throughout modern technology.
Secondly, today’s parents accept enough education to realize the significance of youngsters’ education. It is generally acknowledged that people’s education background is usually connected to their attitudes towards education. To be more specific, the more they are educated, the more they emphasize receiving education. Likewise, they would attach importance to their children’s education as well. In this case, today’s parents tend to spend much time and energy encouraging their children to learn. For example, it is quite common that in China and America, one of the parents quits the job or changes to an easier one to accompany kids better and help them develop good learning habits. Therefore, parents indeed contribute a lot to their children’s education.
To conclude, I believe that today’s parents have more involvement in their children’s education than parents in the past. For the reason that both advanced technology and great education background give the opportunity for parents to focus on that. Also, they have strong willingness to pay attention to their children’s learning.
Score: 51.6
Nowadays,
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