TPO 33 Integrated Writing

  • Jasminewang
    University: National Taiwan University of Science and Technology
    Nationality: Taiwan
    December 7, 2019 at 3:23 pm

    TPO 33 Integrated Writing

    Students obtain knowledge from conducting an assignment. Dividing students into several groups to work on a project is the most efficient way for students to learn things. Moreover, it is agreed that students can access more information about one topic with other students in a group than doing it by himself or herself. This will be shown by discussing with partners and focusing on one specific field improve student’s learning ability.

    Firstly, when working together, it requires a lot of discussion before finishing a project. For example, I joined a class called Innovation Medicine when I was at university. Teacher divided students into several groups to finish a topic. In my group, members came from different majors, we needed to brainstorm before achieving an agreement. Through enormous discussion, I learned from different aspects of viewing one topic and also broadening my horizon. Therefore, brainstorming can bring innovative ideas on a project which makes the students have comprehensive knowledge.

    Secondly, the assignment must be allocated into several small parts to each student in a group, and each one will spend more time on one specific area. For instance, when I was in my internship in a chemical factory, the project I had with other coworkers was to increase the yield of a product line. My task focused on troubleshooting when the process scaled up from laboratory to factory, and other duties such as doing experiments in the laboratory or operating the machines in factory sites were done by other members. Through this project, I really learned a lot about how to switch the parameters to achieve a better yield. In addition, paying attention to one part of a project will make oneself get a deeper knowledge of that topic.

    To summarize, working on a project in a group will maximize the student’s knowledge due to more discussion triggering more information and more time working on one specific part of a project. Schools should give more opportunities for students to work together to increase learning effectiveness.

    December 10, 2019 at 10:10 pm

    Score: 54.8

    Issues:

    1. More than 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.
    2. About 30% of sentences exceed 20 words. Split/shorten them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    December 19, 2019 at 5:09 pm

    Your revised essay?