TPO 57 – Integrated Writing
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March 21, 2021 at 4:00 pm
The lecture and the reading material both focus on a state-owned intercity train company Amtrek. The key point of their debate is Amtrek should be administrated by the U.S. government or a private-owned company. They each named 3 reasons.
The article insists that government loses money on Amtrek. Amtrek keeps underused railways to remote and less populated area. Managing these routes cost the government millions of money each year. The speaker said this view misunderstood that the main reason to maintain the railway service is the money. Citizens living in remote areas have the same right to receive the government services as those who live in accessible places.
The second reason developed by the article is the government’s help for Amtrek is unfair, for it provides Amtrek cheaper tickets than airlines. The speaker strongly disapproved this reason. She said the government already gave the airline industry lots of money to build control tower, train pilots and use data from weather satellite. In total, the existence of airline industry relies on the government’s help.
One final reason provided by the article is car travel is more popular than rail travel in the U.S., while the latter one only services about 1% passengers each year. Instead of Amtrek, the government should pay more attention to build highways. The speaker admitted the lower popularity rail travel had, but she claimed that is because Amtrek is out of date. If the government could provide affordable and fast train service like Japan and Europe did, citizens would love to use train to travel.
March 22, 2021 at 9:40 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
- About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
- Most sentences lack transition words.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
March 23, 2021 at 5:43 amBoth the listening and reading materials focus on a state-owned intercity train company Amtrak. The core of their debate is Amtrak should be run by the U.S. government or a private company. They each named three reasons.
Firstly, the article states that national government loses money on Amtrak, for it keeps underused railways in remote and less populated areas. Managing these routes costs hundreds of millions of dollars each year. The speaker said it misunderstood the government. Its main goal to maintain the railway service is not about money. Citizens living in remote areas have the same right to receive government services as those citizens who live in accessible places.
The second reason developed by the article is the government’s ownership of Amtrak creates unfair competition in market, since it helps Amtrak provide cheaper tickets than airlines. The speaker strongly disapproved it. She argued that the airline companies already enjoy lots of benefits from the government, such as building free control towers, training pilots and using free data from national weather satellite. In total, the existence of airline industry relies heavily on the government’s help.
The last reason mentioned by the article is rail travel is less popular than car travel in America. Rail travel only serves about one percent of passengers each year. Instead of pouring money into Amtrak, the government should use it to build highways. The speaker admitted the lower popularity rail travel had, but she argued that this is because Amtrak is out of date. If the government could provide affordable and fast train service like governments from Japan and Europe do, citizens would love to choose the train to travel.
March 23, 2021 at 8:29 pmBoth the listening and reading materials focus on a state-owned intercity train company [ named ]Amtrak. The core of their[unclear pronoun ] debate is [ whether ]Amtrak should be run by the U.S. government or a private company. They[unclear pronoun ] each named [word choice error ]three reasons.
Firstly, the article states that [article error ]national government loses[grammatical error ] money on Amtrak, for it keeps underused railways in remote and less populated areas. Managing these routes costs hundreds of millions of dollars each year. The speaker said[inconsistent in tense ] it[unclear pronoun ] misunderstood the government. [choppy sentence ]Its[unclear pronoun ] main goal to maintain the railway service is not about money. [ shift in subject ]Citizens living in remote areas have the same right to receive government services as those citizens who live in accessible places.
The second reason developed by the article is the government’s ownership of Amtrak creates unfair competition in market, [punctuation error ]since it[unclear pronoun ] helps Amtrak provide (cheaper tickets than airlines)[ comparison problem ]. The speaker strongly disapproved it.[ unclear pronoun ] She argued[inconsistent in tense ] that the[article error ] airline companies already enjoy lots of benefits from the government, such as[ misplaced phrase ]( building free control towers)[ unclear ], training pilots and using free data from [article error ]national weather satellite. In total, the existence of [ article error ]airline industry relies heavily on the government’s help.
The last reason mentioned by the article (is rail travel is)[ confusing ] less popular than car travel in America. Rail travel only[misplaced adverb ] serves about one percent of passengers each year. Instead of pouring money into Amtrak, the government should use it[unclear pronoun ] to build highways. The speaker admitted[inconsistent in tense ] the( lower popularity rail travel had)[wordy ], but she argued[ inconsistent in tense ] that this is because Amtrak is[ inconsistent in tense ] out of date. If the government (could provide)[grammatical error ] affordable and fast train service like governments from[wrong preposition ] Japan and Europe do, citizens would love to choose the train to travel.
March 25, 2021 at 1:35 pmBoth the reading and listening materials focus on the ownership problem of an intercity train company named Amtrak. The core of the debate between the listening and reading materials is whether Amtrak should be run by the U.S. government or a private company.
The article lists three reasons. The first one is that the national government lost money on Amtrak, for it keeps running underused railways in remote and less populated areas. Managing these routes costs hundreds of millions of dollars each year. The speaker disapproves with that reason, and says the government is misunderstood. The government’s main goal to maintain the railway service is not about money. Citizens who lives in remote areas have the same right to receive government services as those citizens who live in accessible areas.
The second reason given by the article is the government’s ownership of Amtrak creates unfair competition in market; since it helps Amtrak provide tickets which are cheaper than any flight tickets. The speaker argues that the airline companies already enjoy lots of benefits from national government, such as helping them to build free control towers, train professional pilots and give them access to the weather satellite’s database.
The last reason mentioned by the article is that rail travel is less popular than car travel in America. Rail travel serves about one percent of American passengers yearly. Instead of pouring money into Amtrak ,the government should use the money to build more highways. The speaker admits nowadays rail travel does have less customers, however, she thinks that this is because Amtrak is out of date. If the government provides affordable and fast train service like Japanese and European governments do, travelers would love to choose rail travel.
March 26, 2021 at 7:35 pmBoth the reading and listening materials focus on the ownership
problem[ issue concerning ]ofan intercity train company named Amtrak. The core of (the debate between the listening and reading materials)[unclear ] is whether Amtrak should be run by the U.S. government or [by ] a private company.The article lists three reasons[incomplete.. ] . The first one is that the national government lost money on Amtrak, for it[ unclear pronoun ] keeps[ grammatical error ] running underused railways in remote and less populated areas. Managing these routes costs hundreds of millions of dollars each year. The speaker disapproves with [wrong preposition ] that reason, [ punctuation error/learn how to use punctuations in relation to coordinating conjunction ] and says (the government is misunderstood)[ unclear ] . The government’s main goal to maintain the railway service is not about money. Citizens who lives [ grammatical error ] in remote areas have the same right to receive government services as those
citizens[ folks ]( who live)[ wordy ] in accessible areas.The second reason given by the article is [that ] the government’s ownership of Amtrak creates unfair competition in[ article error ] market;[ punctuation error ] since it [unclear pronoun ] helps Amtrak provide tickets
which arecheaper than any flight tickets. The speaker argues that the airline companies already enjoy lots of benefits from[article error ] national government, (such as helping them to build free control towers)[misplaced ] ,( train professional pilots and give)[ grammatical error ] them[ unclear pronoun ] access to the weather satellite’s database.The last reason mentioned by the article is that rail travel is less popular than car travel in America. Rail travel serves about one percent of [ annual ] American passengers
yearly. Instead of pouring money into Amtrak ,the government should use the money to build more highways. The speaker admits nowadays rail travel does have less[ wrong word ] customers, [punctuation error ] however, she thinks that this is because Amtrak is out of date. If the government provides [ grammatical error ] affordable and fast train service like Japanese and European governments do, travelers would love to choose rail travel.
