• Somi
    University: Pepperdine University
    Nationality: Chinese
    March 23, 2021 at 7:35 am

    The author discusses genetic modification can create trees that produce a lot of fruit and it can grow more faster in a very bad condition. However, the speaker displays a contradictory view that genetic modification also can make a lot of severe problems.

    First, the passage says that genetically modifies trees are designed to be hardier than natural plants. But the professor challenges this idea by providing the truth that there are a lot of resistant plants that can not survive, in most conditions, some individuals can not easily survive. Genetically modifies trees are more uniform, they are influenced by climate change, water, resources. If the above factors are not good, they will die.

    Second, the writer indicates that genetically modified trees promise to bring lots of economic factors to those who grow them up. To render disproof, the lecturer reveals a piece of information about grow genetically modified trees is not an easy thing, people should pay the company whenever they plant those trees.

    Last, the passage claims that genetically modified trees can prevent overexploitation of wild trees, whereas the lecture contends that genetically modified trees may damage other trees grow, they could compete with other plants for sun, water , and other resources. Genetically modified trees could expel out the natural trees.

     

    March 23, 2021 at 4:32 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
    3. Lots of unclear pronouns and misused words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.