• morphinily
    University: Shanghai Jiao Tong University
    Nationality: China
    February 9, 2021 at 10:02 am

    Rembrandt, as the most famous of the seventeenth-century Dutch painters, had a painting known as Portrait of an Elderly Woman that was probably not attributed to him according to the passage. However, the professor presents a recent study that shows the painting does belong to Rembrandt.

    First, the inconsistency of woman’s garment, which was reflected in the white linen cap of a kind that servants would wear and the luxurious fur collar that no servant could afford, couldn’t appear in Rembrandt’s paintings. In fact, the professor mentions that the recent X-ray examination and analysis of the pigments, proving that the fur collar was painted on top of the original painting about 100 years later. It’s possible for someone to increase the value of the painting by making the woman an aristocratic lady.

    Second, the light and shadow seem to be unfit in the painting because the light from below should be absorbed by the dark fur collar resulting in shadow on the woman’s face. According to the recent study, after removing the layer of that fur collar, the woman in the original painting was wearing a simple collar of light-colored cloth. Therefore, the light-colored cloth reflects the light that illuminated part of the woman’s face, proving that the painting’s shadow and light are reasonable to be expected from Rembrandt.

    Finally, the passage reckons that the back of the painting reveals that it was painted on a panel made of glued wood. In addition to the fur collar, the painting was enlarged using several pieces of wood glued together to make it more valuable and grander. The original painting is actually painted on one piece of wood that is consistent with the works of Rembrandt. Moreover, the wood used in “Portrait of an Elderly Woman” is from the same tree as the wood used for another Rembrandt’s painting, called “Self-portrait with a Hat”.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 10, 2021 at 2:22 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 75% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 60% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision )

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    morphinily
    University: Shanghai Jiao Tong University
    Nationality: China
    February 10, 2021 at 11:07 am

    As the most famous of the seventeenth-century Dutch painters, Rembrandt had a painting known as Portrait of an Elderly Woman that was not attributed to him according to the passage. However, the professor states that the painting does belong to Rembrandt.

    First, the inconsistency of woman’s garments shouldn’t appear in Rembrandt’s paintings. The white linen cap of a kind that servants would wear mismatched the luxurious fur collar in the painting. A recent study uses X-ray to examine and analyze the pigments. The result shows that the fur collar was painted on top of the original painting about 100 years later. Someone intended to increase the value of the painting by making the woman an aristocratic lady.

    Second, the light and shadow seem to be unfit in the painting. Since the dark fur collar absorbed the light from below, it would result in shadow on the woman’s face. According to the study, after removing the dark fur collar, the woman in the original painting was wearing a simple collar of light-colored cloth. Thus, the light-colored cloth reflected the light and illuminated part of the woman’s face, proving that the painting’s shadow and light are reasonable from Rembrandt.

    Finally, the back of the painting is made of several pieces of wood glued together. Apart from the fur collar, the painting was enlarged by gluing wood to make it more valuable and grander. The original painting on one piece of wood shows consistency with Rembrandt’s style. Besides, the wood used in “Portrait of an Elderly Woman” is from the same tree as the wood used for “Self-portrait with a Hat” from Rembrandt.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 10, 2021 at 5:25 pm

    As [one of  ]the most famous of the seventeenth-century Dutch painters, Rembrandt had a painting known as Portrait of an Elderly Woman[. The passage, however, disassociates the painting with him. ] that was not attributed to him according to the passage. However, the professor states that the painting does belong to Rembrandt. [The introductory paragraph looks clumsy. I don’t know how to improve it since I am unfamiliar with the prompt.  ]

    First, (the inconsistency of woman’s garments shouldn’t appear)[unclear  ] in Rembrandt’s paintings. The white linen cap of a kind that servants would wear [ generally word ]mismatched the luxurious fur collar in the painting. A recent study uses X-ray to examine and analyze the pigments. The result shows that the fur collar was painted on top of the original painting about 100 years later. Someone intended [in an attempt/as a means  ]to increase the (value of the painting)[ replace with two words ] by making the woman an aristocratic lady.

    Second, the light and shadow seem to be unfit in the painting. Since the dark fur collar absorbed[tense error  ] the light from below, it [unclear pronoun  ]would result in [ article error ]shadow on the woman’s face. According to the study, after (removing the dark fur collar, the woman)[ dangling ] in the original painting was wearing a simple collar of light-colored cloth. Thus, the light-colored cloth reflected the light and[wrong logical connection: light…face  ] illuminated part of the woman’s face, proving that the (painting’s shadow and light are reasonable from Rembrandt.)[unclear  ]

    Finally, the back of the painting is made of several pieces of wood glued together. Apart from the fur collar, the painting was enlarged by [article error  ]gluing wood to make[, which makes  ] it more valuable and grander. The original painting on one piece of wood shows consistency with Rembrandt’s [ painting ] style. Besides, the wood used in “Portrait of an Elderly Woman” is (from the same tree as the wood used for “Self-portrait with a Hat” from Rembrandt.)[ unclear ]

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 10, 2021 at 5:38 pm

    Study lecture 3 /lecture 4 of Finese Articles Explained on yingwenguanzhi.com.