In many countries, traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. This has negative effects on both families and societies. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In many countries, traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. This has negative effects on both families and societies. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

  • tunguska
    University: Shenzhen
    Nationality: China
    May 19, 2020 at 7:41 am

    In many countries, traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. This has negative effects on both families and societies. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

    People today frequent fast-food restaurants because of the fast pace of work and irregular working hours. Fast food has threatened traditional cuisines in many cultures, and we should give priority to problems caused by this trend.

    In many countries like America, fast food has become a severe health problem and led to a growing number of obese people. It’s not only because convenient foods are high in fat, sugar, salt and calories, but also because fast foods are served in large portions. Generally, those who suffer from obesity are more possibly contract heart diseases than ordinary people. It means the government need to pour more money in the medical system, which may harm economic development.

    Another issue is that it can pose a threat to the diversity of world cuisines. Traditional means of food preparation are known for the diversity of ingredients, cooking styles and flavours, and many dishes show the evolution of cuisines in different regions. If fast-food chains which offer American food or European food, including hamburgers, fried chicken and pizza, dominate the market, people will find that their diet becomes increasingly monotonous and some traditional recipes will disappear.

    Besides, fast food can harm family relationships, as people don’t eat family meals as frequently as before. In a general rule, family meals usually offer house members a chance to communicate with each other and improve mutual understanding. They always eat outside and probably not be able to keep up to date with family issues, which makes them not sensitive to family member’s emotional needs. The family thus become more separated and they may feel separated when encountering difficulties.

    Overall, I suppose that the prevalence of pre-prepared food could be a menace. It can not just pose a threat to people’s lives but also hazardous cuisine cultures and social relationships.

     

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    May 23, 2020 at 12:42 am

    Score: 52.6

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Many sentences lack transitory words between them.
    4. Poor use of pronouns. Many pronouns (it, this., etc) fail to specifically echo a noun. As such, replace pronouns with concrete nouns if the pronouns are unclear.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.