Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student’s field of study

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  • Shi Yan
    University: 南开大学
    Nationality: 中国
    June 26, 2019 at 7:59 am

     

    Essay TOPIC: Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student’s field of study.

    In university, we are confronted with a variety of courses outside our field of study and nowadays whether universities should require every student to take those courses has aroused widespread controversy. As far as I am concerned, potential drawbacks overshadow its perceived benefits.

    Enforcement which requires students to take certain courses outside their majors will result in a bad influence among students. For example, students will take courses with no interest. Since for a student who majors in biology may have no interest in computer, taking computer courses will have no benefits on them, instead, their favourite course may beyond their approach. Their favourite course may not give them a high score. Taking part in other courses seems to be a task, not a hobby. I think universities want students take those courses because they want them to pursue their interests. However, the result seems not so good.

    On the other hand, obviously, this requirement has a benefit. Students will take the initiative pursuing their interests. For example, there is a student who doesn’t like his field of study. After his university adopts this rule that every student should take a variety of courses outside his field, he will be happy because it is like a kite got its wind to fly. He will chose lots of courses which are his favourites. So from our own experience, we know that this student got his significance of taking courses. I believe he will make a great progress both in his favourite field and his initiative field.

    However, I personally believe that this kind of requirement has more drawbacks. For one thing, students of different subjects have different burdens. For example, those students who major in two or more kind of subjects undoubtedly have limited energy. If let these students take more courses beyond their fields, they may feel unhappy. For another, there is a possibility that universities don’t give specific course introduction so that even students in that field can’t understand what they will learn from this course, not to mention those who don’t major in that field. They will be confusing when choosing those courses.

    In conclusion, I don’t support the view that universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside their field of study. Only if this policy is able to consider the various factors of the students themselves and make them feel really useful, can this policy be carried out.

    June 28, 2019 at 3:15 pm

    Score: 63

    Suggestions for Improvement

    • Shorten your essay to 320 words (It doesn’t mean you need to write a short essay; the truth is that I am too busy to work on a longer essay:)
    • Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.

    Problems Highlight

    In university, we are confronted[Passive] with a variety of courses outside our field of study [punctuation error]and nowadays whether universities should require every student to take those courses has aroused widespread controversy. [Verbose]As far as I am concerned, potential drawbacks overshadow its perceived benefits.

    Enforcement which[Inappropriate prounoun] requires students to take certain courses outside their majors will result in a bad influence among students. [Verbose]For example, students will take courses with no interest. Since for a student who majors in biology may have no interest in computer[incorrect word], taking computer courses will have no benefits on them, [punctuation error]instead, their favourite course may beyond their approach. [Verbose]Their favourite course [repetition]may not give them a high score. Taking part in other courses [repetition]seems to be a task, not a hobby. I think universities want students take [Grammatical error]those courses because they want them to pursue their interests. However, the result seems not so good.

    On the other hand, obviously,[Unnecessary adverb ] this requirement has a benefit. Students will take the initiative pursuing their interests. For example, there is a student who doesn’t like his field of study. After his university adopts this rule that every student should take a variety of courses outside his field, he will be happy because it is like a kite got its wind to fly. [Verbose]He will chose [Grammatical error]lots of courses which are his favourites. So from our own experience, we know that this student got his significance of taking courses. I believe he will make a great progress both in his favourite field and his initiative field.

    However, I personally [Unnecessary adverb ]believe that this kind of requirement has more drawbacks. For one thing, students of different subjects have different burdens. For example, those students who major in two or more kind of subjects undoubtedly [Unnecessary adverb ]have limited energy. If let these students take more courses beyond their fields[Grammatical error], they may feel unhappy. For another, there is a possibility that universities don’t give specific course introduction so that even students in that field can’t understand what they will learn from this course, not to mention those who don’t major in that field. [Verbose]They will be confusing when choosing those courses.

    In conclusion, I don’t support the view that universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside their field of study. Only if this policy is able to consider the various factors of the students themselves and make them feel really [Unnecessary adverb ]useful, can this policy be carried out[End sentence with a preposition].[Verbose]

    Comment: There are more errors than those highlighted ones. Please revise and resubmit your essay for further assessment and revision.  Regards.