University education should include an internship or some type of work experience. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing University education should include an internship or some type of work experience. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • Janice
    University: ASU
    Nationality: China
    September 6, 2020 at 11:50 am

    University education should include an internship or some type of work experience. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Yes, I definitely agree with the idea that universities should have work related courses. It not only helps the students gain experience, but also a win-win strategy for school.

    As a student, especially in China, my main job was to study well then I could get into a great university. I understand how to study well, but did not realize how important the experience was. When I came to the time to find a job, I found it was so hard for me to land a job without experience. Based on my story, I highly recommend schools to have an internship course in order to help students prepare for their future.

    Besides my own experience, I also think the knowledge itself is highly related to the real work experience. Sometimes, student just learn knowledge at school, and they still do not know how to apply it. If they have an internship, they will not only quickly understand why they learn this topic but also will understand the topic much easier and deeper because they use it in the real job.
    What if school refuse to offer the internship related education? First of all, the employment rate will be low and the rank of school will go down as well. Then the school will find it is hard for them to get more students. It is such a big loss. Second, the students may lose their interest in their major since they did not have the opportunities to come close to it and understand it, which will make them have a lower grade. It is also a big impact for school recognition.

    Somebody may say, the students should find the jobs by themselves, why you make schools take this responsibility? Yes, it is true. However, it will be better for the students if schools encourage them to take the first step. Some students find it is hard to find an internship without any experience. Therefore, if school can offer the first opportunity for students, they will be better in the future.

    This is actually a win-win idea, so, why not?

    September 8, 2020 at 9:41 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Lots of grammatical, article and punctuation errors.
    2. Lengthy paragraph. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Janice
    University: ASU
    Nationality: China
    September 22, 2020 at 3:57 pm

    Yes, I definitely agree with the idea that universities should have work-related courses. It not only helps the students gain experience, but also a win-win strategy for a school.

    As a student, especially in China, my main job was to study well, then I could get into a great university. I understand how to learn well, but did not realize how important the experience was. When I came to the time to find a job, I found it hard for me to land a job without experience. Based on my story, I highly recommend the internship courses to help students prepare for their future.

    Besides my own experience, I also think the knowledge itself is related to real work experience. Sometimes, students just learn knowledge at school, and they still do not know how to apply it. If they have an internship, they will not only quickly understand why this topic is important, but also will understand it much easier and deeper because they use it in the real job.

    What if schools refuse to offer internship-related education? First of all, the employment rate will be low and the rank of school will go down as well. Then the school will find it is hard for them to get more students. It is such a big loss. Second, students may lose their interest in their major. They did not have the opportunities to come close to it and understand it, which will make them have a lower grade. It is also a big impact on school recognition.

    Somebody may say, the students should find the jobs by themselves, why schools take the responsibilities? Yes, it is true. However, it will be better for students if schools encourage them to take the first step. Some students find it is hard to find an internship without any experience. Therefore, if schools can offer the opportunity for students, students are better in the future.

    This is actually a win-win idea, so, why not?

    October 1, 2020 at 8:18 pm

    Yes, I definitely agree with the idea that universities should have [offer  ] work-related courses. It [unclear pronoun  ]not only helps the [ article error ]students gain experience, [  punctuation error]but also [ grammatical error ]a win-win strategy for a school.

    As a student[dangling modify in reference to the subject  (job) ], especially in China, my main job was to study well[wrong adverb  ], then I could get into a great university. I understand how to learn well[word choice  ], but [grammatical error  ]did not realize how important the experience was[tense error  ]. When I came to the time[ logical confusion ] to find a job, I found it hard for me to land a job without experience. Based on my story, I highly recommend (the internship courses)[unclear  ] to help students (prepare for their future)[ unclear ].

    Besides my own experience, I also think the[ article error ] knowledge itself is related to real work experience. Sometimes, students just learn knowledge at school, and they still do not know how to apply it. If they have [grammatical error – subjunctive  ]an internship, they will [grammatical error  ]not only quickly understand why this topic is important, but also[ grammatical error ] will understand it[ unclear pronoun ] much easier[confusion  ] and deeper because they use it in the real job.

    What if schools refuse [ grammatical error ]to offer [ article error ]internship-related education? First of all, the employment rate will be low and the rank of school will go down as well. Then the school will find it is hard for them to get[ change to a formal verb ] more students. It is such a big loss. Second, students may lose their interest in their major[ word form error ]. (They did not have the opportunities to come close to it and understand it, which will make them have a lower grade)[ unclear ]. It[unclear pronoun  ] is also a big impact on school recognition.

    Somebody may say, [ punctuation error ]the [article error  ]students should find the[ article error ] jobs[ word form error ] by themselves, why schools take the responsibilities[word form error  ]? (Yes, it is true)[  redundant]. However, it[unclear pronoun  ] will be [grammatical error  ]better for students if schools encourage[ grammatical error ] them to take the first step. Some students find it is hard to find an internship (without any experience)[ unclear modifier ]. Therefore, if schools can offer[ grammatical error ] the opportunity for students, students are[ grammatical error ] better in the future.

    This is actually a win-win idea, so, why not?