The university will spend money on dormitory to improve the life quality of students, which of the following do you think is the best way? -providing a room for quiet study; -building an exercise room;-providing entertainment place (watch film).

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing The university will spend money on dormitory to improve the life quality of students, which of the following do you think is the best way? -providing a room for quiet study; -building an exercise room;-providing entertainment place (watch film).

  • zjz
    University: Xiamen Univerisity
    Nationality: China
    July 2, 2020 at 8:18 am

    The university will spend money on dormitory to improve the life quality of students, which of the following do you think is the best way? -providing a room for quiet study; -building an exercise room;-providing entertainment place (watch film).

    Dormitory is the place that related most closely with students’ leisure moment. When one go into his own dormitory, he seek relax and comfort. In this sense, given the three options present above, the entertainment scenario might be the optimal choice. It is more in line with peoples’ basic needs and therefore is able to provide support when people are in difficulties.

    Thinking about this, if someone would like to go studying or exercising, which place will they choose to go. The answer would be the library or gym, obviously. Seldom will people select dormitory as the place for such purposes. However, when people are seeking to entertain, the most possible place for them should be dormitories, whether they are surfing online on the messy bed or doing mediation before the desk. Dormitories, as the most familiar place for most students, can offer highest satisfaction and comfort in the duration of entertainment even though only few university has recognize that. In distributing money in building an entertainment room, students living there will surely feel more fulfilled and satisfied. Because dormitories serve students instead of pushing them to study or exercise.

    What’s more, building an entertainment room is an useful approach in boosting interpersonal relationship among dormitories. Usually, students in different rooms have little chance to make acquaintance with each other. But with the existence of the entertainment room, the barrier can easily be alleviated. Students can throw a party there on special days or they can watch movies there after the final examination. With an entertainment room around the dormitory, students won’t bother booking the resort for the party The entrance fee for theater can also be saved. It is really a good news for those who are introverted because they have more topics to talk about with people around them.

    In an era of bustle and bustle, universities should really provide something for students to ease the stress. An entertainment room is the very place for that. It can eliminate all the troubles and anxiety, at least for now.

    July 3, 2020 at 10:10 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Numerous grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    zjz
    University: Xiamen Univerisity
    Nationality: China
    July 5, 2020 at 7:19 am

    Dormitories are the places that relate most closely with students’ leisure moments. When one goes into his dormitory room, he feels relaxed and comfortable. In this sense, given the three options presented above, the entertainment room scenario might be the optimal choice. It is more in line with peoples’ basic needs and provides support when people are in anxiety.

    Thinking about this, if someone would like to go studying or exercising, which place will they choose to go. The answer would be the libraries or gyms. Seldom will people select dormitories as the place for these purposes. However, when people are seeking to entertain, the most possible place for them would be their dormitories. Dormitories, as students’ most familiar place, can offer higher satisfaction and comfort in the duration of entertainment. Even though few people have recognized that, dormitories with entertainment rooms do seem popular among students. After distributing money in building an entertainment room, students living there will feel more fulfilled and satisfied. That is because dormitories serve students instead of pushing them to study or exercise.

    What’s more, sharing an entertainment room does help to boost interpersonal relationships among students in the same dormitory building. Usually, students in different rooms have little chance to make acquaintance with each other. But with the existence of the entertainment room, the barrier can be alleviated. Students can throw a party there on special days. They can also watch movies after the final examination. With an entertainment room around the dormitory, students won’t bother booking the resort for the parties. The entrance fee for theater can also be saved. It is good news for introverted students because they have more topics to share with people around them.

    There is no denying that an entertainment room near the dormitory may distract students from studying. But considering the heavy burdens shouldered by modern university students, building an entertainment may prove to be wise. Afterall, we are university students instead of studying machines. We need an entertainment room nearby the dormitories. It enables us to pursue happiness and further our interpersonal relationships.

    July 5, 2020 at 4:02 pm

    You confused Dormitory with Dormitory Room. For this topic, Dormitory is a general description, which could refer to dormitory buildings. The prompt wants you to talk about the benefits of a quiet room, a fitness room, and/or an entertainment room within a dormitory building.

    zjz
    University: Xiamen Univerisity
    Nationality: China
    July 6, 2020 at 3:04 am

    Given the three options presented above, I think building an exercising room improves the life quality of students most. That can not only maximize the welfare of students but contribute to students’ health both in physical and mental way.

    With an exercising room around the dormitory, students have more chances to build up muscles and do aerobic exercises. Recent years have seen an increase in diabetes rate among teenagers, especially for university students. Everyone on campus should raise the awareness of physical health and commence exercising. But considering the long distance between the dormitory and the gym, it may not be convenient for students to pick up exercising. However, building an exercising room near the dormitory can fix the very problem. Students can add exercising into daily schedules without spending a big chunk of time. They can choose either jogging early in the morning after waking up or lifting weights at night before going to sleep. Closer physical distances make exercising more accessible. That does, more or less, contribute to students’ physical and mental health.

    What’s more, having an exercising room near the dormitory may boost interpersonal relationships among students. In this sense, the exercising room scenario is way better than that to build a quiet study room. Even though a study room can gather people, it doesn’t result in any connections among them. However, in the case of an exercising room, students would inevitably encounter sharing equipment and chatting when resting. Sometimes, just one shared hobby would sparkle a new relationship. You can also ask your friends and roommates to exercise as well. The exercising room can act as an attachment to connect you with others. It may help your friendship last longer and healthier.

    To summarize, building an exercising room is a balance between self-improvement and life satisfaction. Students will benefit from healthier bodies and enriched social networks. With an exercising room besides the dormitory, students are able to enjoy a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

    July 7, 2020 at 7:25 pm

    Given the three options presented above, I think [support the plan of  ] building an exercising room improves the life quality of students most. That[This measure ] can not only maximize the welfare of students[students’ welfare  ] but [also]contribute to students’ health[redundant/it means welfare  ] both in physical and mental way.

    With an [ added ]exercising room around[ in ] the dormitory [ building ], students have more chances to build up muscles and do aerobic exercises[ work out ]. Recent years have[ has ] seen an increase in diabetes rate among teenagers, especially for university students. (Everyone on campus should raise the awareness of physical health and commence exercising. )[awkward  ]But considering the long distance between the dormitory and the gym, it may not be convenient for students to pick up exercising[ in the gym is inconvenient ]. However, building an exercising room near [in  ]the dormitory can fix [ resolve ]the very [this  ]problem. Students can add exercising into daily schedules [schedule  ]without spending a big chunk of time[unclear  ]. They can choose either jogging early in the morning after waking up or lifting weights at night before going to sleep. Closer physical distances make exercising more accessible.[ unclear ] That[ unclear pronoun ] does, more or less, contribute to students’ physical and mental health[ unclear/no evidence about mental health ].[lengthy paragraph; restrict to 90 words.  ]

    What’s more, having an exercising room near [ wrong preposition ]the dormitory may boost interpersonal relationships among students. In this sense, the exercising room scenario is way better than that[ unclear pronoun ] to build a quiet study room. Even though a study room can gather people, it doesn’t result in any connections among them. However, in the case of an exercising room, students would inevitably encounter sharing equipment and chatting when resting[ unclear ]. Sometimes, just one shared hobby would sparkle a new relationship. You[ shift of person ] can also ask your friends and roommates to exercise as well. The exercising room can act as an attachment[ unclear ] to connect you with others. It [ unclear pronoun ]may help your[shift of person  ] friendship last longer and healthier.

    To summarize, building an exercising room is a balance between self-improvement and life satisfaction. Students will benefit from healthier bodies and enriched social networks. With an exercising room besides [word form error  ]the dormitory, students are able to enjoy a more fulfilling and meaningful life.