The university will spend money on dormitory to improve the life quality of students, which of the following do you think is the best way?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Topics The university will spend money on dormitory to improve the life quality of students, which of the following do you think is the best way?

  • 77today_
    University: BUPT
    Nationality: China
    January 31, 2020 at 4:29 am

    Question:

    The university will spend money on dormitory to improve the life quality of students, which of the following do you think is the best way?

    -providing a room for quiet study;

    -building an exercise room;

    -providing entertainment place (watch film).

    If the university were to provide new services in dormitory, I would definitely favor a quiet study room. It is, in my perspective, the most wanted yet often neglected need, which will serve the students better than the other two hypotheses.

    To begin with, study takes up a student’s time. Just by speculations, it is an undoubtful fact that is a busy schedule of a college student, studying for 10 to 40 hours extra is a norm. The statistics may be variant but certainly reveal a trend. If a study room is introduced, it is sure to be used frequently and durably. And can benefit a large variety of students.

    Additionally, most schools have gyms and cinemas on campus already. Or at least in a neighborhood. In some cases, dorm buildings even possess in-built gyms and karaokes. This is convenient enough. Let us remind that bringing in additional facilities leads to dorm reconstruction, routinely cleaning and space reallocation. If all these efforts really worth it? In my opinion, the work is extra.

    Conversely, exercise and entertainments are noisy. Yet, a dorm is a place to rest. Eligible roommates take care of other people’s schedules, to at least be quiet when others rest or try to relax. In this case, the time you spend in those rooms is limited. And a lot of the times, you have to contain yourself to not interrupt.  For example, I should not laugh out really loud when someone else is trying to sleep. Or run a treadmill if others are meditating.

    To sum up, building rooms for study is the most proficient and effective choice. It can benefit most students, be of high usage and worth the money and time.

    February 1, 2020 at 10:07 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Lots of choppy sentences;
    2. Frequent errors in relation to coordinating words.

    If the university were to provide new services in[ article error ] dormitory, I would definitely favor a quiet study room. It is, in my perspective, the most wanted yet often neglected need, which will serve the students better than the other two hypotheses.

    To begin with, study[word form  ] takes up a student’s time. Just by speculations, it is an undoubtful fact that is a busy schedule of a college student[grammatical error  ], [  punctuation error]studying for 10 to 40 hours extra is a norm. The statistics may be variant but certainly reveal a trend. If a study room is introduced, it is sure to be used frequently and durably. And [grammatical error  ]can benefit a large variety of students.

    Additionally, most schools have gyms and cinemas on campus already. Or at least in a neighborhood.[grammatical error  ] In some cases, dorm buildings even possess in-built gyms and karaokes. This is convenient enough. Let us remind that [ grammatical error ]bringing in additional facilities leads to dorm reconstruction, routinely[ word form error ] cleaning and space reallocation. If all these efforts really worth it?[ grammatical error ] In my opinion, the work is extra.

    Conversely, exercise and entertainments are noisy. Yet, a dorm is a place to rest. Eligible roommates take care of other people’s schedules, to[ grammatical error ] at least be quiet when others rest or try to relax. In this case, the time you spend in those rooms is limited. [ punctuation error concerning coordination word ]And a lot of the times, you have to contain yourself to not interrupt.  For example, I should not laugh out really loud when someone else is trying to sleep. Or[grammatical use concerning coordinating word  ] run a treadmill if others are meditating.

    To sum up, building rooms for study is the most proficient and effective choice. It can benefit most students, be of high usage and worth the money and time.

    77today_
    University: BUPT
    Nationality: China
    February 4, 2020 at 9:13 am

    Revision:

    If the university were to provide new services in dormitories, I would definitely favor a quiet study room. It is, in my perspective, the most wanted yet often neglected need, which will serve the students better than the other two hypotheses.

    To begin with, studying takes up a lot of a student’s time. Just by speculations, it is an undoubtful fact that in a busy schedule of a college student, studying for 10 to 40 hours extra is a norm. The statistics may be variant but certainly reveal a trend. If a study room is introduced, it is sure to be used frequently and durably. Also, it can benefit a large variety of students.

    Additionally, most schools have gyms and cinemas on campus already, or at least in the neighborhood. In some cases, dorm buildings even possess in-built gyms and karaoke. This is convenient enough. To elaborate, bringing in additional facilities leads to dorm reconstruction, routine cleaning, and space reallocation. Are all these efforts really worth it? In my opinion, the work is extra.

    Conversely, exercise and entertainments are noisy. Yet, a dorm is a place to rest. Eligible roommates take care of other people’s schedules, be quiet when others rest or try to relax. In this case, the time you spend in those rooms is limited. Further, a lot of the times, you have to contain yourself to not interrupt.  For example, I should not laugh out really loud when someone else is trying to sleep or run a treadmill if others are meditating.

    To sum up, building rooms for study is the most proficient and effective choice. It can benefit most students, be of high usage and worth the money and time.

    February 4, 2020 at 5:39 pm

    Score: 73

    I will get back to you shortly.

    February 5, 2020 at 10:01 pm

    The university will spend money on dormitories to improve the quality of life of students, which of the following do you think is the best way?

    If the university were to provide new services in dormitories, I would definitely favor a quiet study room. It is, in my perspective, (change order, “in my perspective” first) the most wanted (adjective error) yet often neglected need, which (change to “and it”) will serve the students better than the other two hypotheses (change noun – “proposals”).

    To begin with, studying takes up a lot of a student’s (change to students’) time. Just by speculations, it is an undoubtful fact that (unnecessary) in a busy schedule of a college student (simplify), studying for 10 to 40 hours extra (unnecessary) is a norm (change to adjective). The statistics may be variant (change to “vary”) but certainly (, but they) reveal a trend. If a study room is introduced, it is sure to (“will”) be used frequently and durably (choose a different word). Also, it can benefit a large variety (chose different word) of students.

    Additionally, most schools have gyms and cinemas on campus already, or at least in the neighborhood. In some cases, dorm buildings even possess (choose different verb) in-built gyms and karaoke. This is convenient enough (combine two previous sentences). To elaborate, bringing in (choose different verb) additional facilities leads to dorm reconstruction, routine cleaning, and space reallocation. Are all these efforts really worth it? In my opinion, the work is extra (change to “unnecessary”).

    Conversely (use different transition phrase), exercise and entertainments (change to singular) are noisy. Yet, a dorm is a place to rest (combine two previous sentences). Eligible (unnecessary) roommates take care of other people’s schedules, (and they will) be quiet when others rest or try to relax. In this case, the time you spend (change to “time spent”) in those rooms is limited. Further(more), a lot of the times, you have to contain yourself to not interrupt (rephrase sentence).  For example, I should not laugh out really loud when someone else is trying to sleep or run (on) a treadmill if (while) others are meditating.

    To sum up (In summary), building rooms for study (study areas) is the most proficient (chose different adjective) and effective choice. It can (will) benefit most students, be of high usage (redundant) and (it is) worth the money and time.

     

     

    77today_
    University: BUPT
    Nationality: China
    February 6, 2020 at 4:04 am

    Revision:

    If the university were to provide new services in dormitories, I would definitely favor a quiet study room. In my perspective, it is the most wanted yet often neglected need, and it will serve the students better than the other two proposals.

    To begin with, studying takes up a lot of students’ time. Just by speculations, in a busy week schedule of a college student, studying for 10 to 40 hours is normal. The statistics may vary, but they reveal a trend. If a study room is introduced, it will be used frequently and persistently. Also, it can benefit a large group of students.

    Additionally, most schools have gyms and cinemas on campus already, or at least in the neighborhood. In some cases, dorm buildings even own in-built gyms and karaoke, which is convenient enough. To elaborate, building additional facilities leads to dorm reconstruction, routine cleaning, and space reallocation. Are all these efforts really worth it? In my opinion, the work is unnecessary.

    Lastly, exercise and entertainment are noisy, yet a dorm is a place to rest. Eligible roommates take care of other people’s schedules, and they will be quiet when others rest or try to relax. In this case, the time spent in those rooms is limited. Furthermore, a lot of times, you have to control yourself not to interrupt.  For example, I should not laugh out really loud when someone else is trying to sleep or run on a treadmill while others are meditating.

    In summary, building study areas is the most efficient and effective choice. It will benefit most students, and it is worth the money and time.

    February 6, 2020 at 11:26 pm

    Score: 71

    If the university were to provide new services in dormitories, I would definitely favor a quiet study room. In my perspective, it [ unclear pronoun ] is the most wanted yet often neglected need, and it [ unclear pronoun ] will serve the students better than the other two proposals.

    To begin with, studying takes up a lot of students’ time. Just by speculations, in a busy week schedule of a college student, studying for 10 to 40 hours is normal. The statistics may vary, but they reveal a trend. If a study room is introduced, it will be used frequently and persistently. Also, it [ use noun to replace pronoun ] can benefit a large group of students.

    Additionally, most schools have gyms and cinemas on campus already, or at least in the neighborhood. In some cases, dorm buildings even own in-built gyms and karaoke, which is convenient enough. To elaborate, building additional facilities leads to dorm reconstruction, routine cleaning, and space reallocation. Are all these efforts really worth it? In my opinion, the work is unnecessary.

    Lastly, exercise and entertainment are noisy, yet a dorm is a place to rest. Eligible [ incorrect word ] roommates take care of other people’s schedules, and they will be quiet when others rest or try to relax. In this case, the time spent in those rooms is limited. Furthermore, a lot of times, you have to control yourself not to interrupt.  For example, I should not laugh out really loud when someone else is trying to sleep or run on a treadmill while others are meditating.

    In summary, building study areas is the most efficient and effective choice. It will benefit most students, and it is worth the money and time.

    77today_
    University: BUPT
    Nationality: China
    February 7, 2020 at 6:40 am

    Revision:

    If the university were to provide new services in dormitories, I would definitely favor a quiet study room. In my perspective, building study areas is the most wanted yet often neglected need, and it will serve the students better than the other two proposals.

    To begin with, studying takes up a lot of students’ time. Just by speculations, in a busy week schedule of a college student, studying for 10 to 40 hours is normal. The statistics may vary, but they reveal a trend. If a study room is introduced, it will be used frequently and persistently. Also, study rooms can benefit a large group of students.

    Additionally, most schools have gyms and cinemas on campus already, or at least in the neighborhood. In some cases, dorm buildings even own in-built gyms and karaoke, which is convenient enough. To elaborate, building additional facilities leads to dorm reconstruction, routine cleaning, and space reallocation. Are all these efforts really worth it? In my opinion, the work is unnecessary.

    Lastly, exercise and entertainment are noisy, yet a dorm is a place to rest. Roommates take care of other people’s schedules, and they will be quiet when others rest or try to relax. In this case, the time spent in those rooms is limited. Furthermore, a lot of times, you have to control yourself not to interrupt.  For example, I should not laugh out really loud when someone else is trying to sleep or run on a treadmill while others are meditating.

    In summary, building study areas is the most efficient and effective choice. It will benefit most students, and it is worth the money and time.

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks ago by Avatar77today_.
    77today_
    University: BUPT
    Nationality: China
    February 14, 2020 at 10:14 am

    No further revision.