Were people friendlier in the past than they are today?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Were people friendlier in the past than they are today?

  • dongyuanjushi
    University: Nanjing University
    Nationality: China
    January 30, 2021 at 9:24 am

    Were people friendlier in the past than they are today?

    In my childhood, recalls from my grandparents about their “good old days” have all been etched deep in my mind, even down to the smallest details. Those stories presented purer and closer relationships at that time. However, people feelings and behaviors nowadays have been influenced by dramatic changes of society. Therefore, I have to admit that people in the past were friendlier than people are now.

    Needless to say, social reality has made human relationships more complex today. In today’s money-oriented world, friendships may be built on the grounds of business profits, personal gains, or other hidden agendas. People are gradually getting accustomed to such a modern way of making friends. In most cases, once one’s purpose is satisfied, the relationship established before will break down. Also, lack of trust forces people to wear a smiling mask and communicate unfaithfully. Therefore, distinguishing between true and fake friendships becomes difficult.

    Besides, heavy burdens from work and study make time too limited for people to express friendliness. Afterwards, everyone has to cherish time to fight for their survival and prosperity. To them, it is more necessary to fulfill the tight schedule than maintain pleasing relationships with others. Such pressure makes modern people psychologically isolated because they even want to sit in front of computers rather than chat with colleagues,

    By contrast, simplicity and openness may be the best words to define people’s relationships in the past. For instance, before the market-based economy was adopted by China, most of the school leavers could be assigned long-term jobs by the government. Such stable work brings harmonious working atmosphere because people usually have similar working goals and fewer competitions.Therefore, fewer emotional conflicts make it easier to establish good ties between colleagues..

    Unfortunately, the loss of people’s friendliness still remains obvious. So I think it is a must for us to pick up the hidden friendliness and express it bravely, just like our older generations.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 4, 2021 at 3:40 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision )

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    dongyuanjushi
    University: Nanjing University
    Nationality: China
    February 5, 2021 at 12:09 pm

    In my childhood, recalls from my grandparents about their “good old days” have all been etched deep in my mind, even down to the smallest details. Those stories presented purer and closer relationships at that time. However, huge changes of society have transformed people’s feelings and behaviors today. Therefore, I have to admit that people in the past were friendlier than people are now.

    Needless to say, social reality has made human relationships more complex today. In today’s money-oriented world, friendships may be built on the basis of business profits or personal gains. People are gradually getting accustomed to such a modern way of making friends. In most cases, once they complete business tasks, the relationship established before will readily break down. Also, lack of trust forces people to wear a smiling mask and communicate unfaithfully. Therefore, distinguishing between true and fake friendships becomes difficult.

    Besides, heavy burdens from work and study make time too limited for people to express friendliness. After all, everyone has to cherish time to fight for their survival and prosperity. To them, following the tight schedule seems more urgent than maintaining relationships with others. In many cases, people only focus on computers instead of chatting with others, which makes their relationships much worse.

    By contrast, simplicity and openness may be the best words to define people’s relationships in the past. For instance, before the establishment of market-based economy in China, most of the school leavers were assigned long-term jobs by the government. Such stable work renders harmonious working atmosphere because of similar working goals and fewer competitions among people. Under this circumstance, people find it easier to make good connections with their colleagues.

    Unfortunately, people’s friendliness remains decreasing today. So I think it is a must for us to discover the hidden friendliness and express it bravely, just like our older generations.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 6, 2021 at 2:24 am

    Score: 58

    Issues:

    1. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision )

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    dongyuanjushi
    University: Nanjing University
    Nationality: China
    February 7, 2021 at 2:33 am

    In my childhood, recalls from my grandparents about their old stories, even smallest details, have all left a deep impression on me. Those stories presented purer and closer relationships at that time. However, relations among people are drifting away nowadays, though they are geologically more connected. Therefore, I have to admit that people in the past were friendlier than people are now.

    First, human relationships become more complex in terms of business. In today’s money-oriented world, friendships may be built on the basis of business profits. People are gradually getting accustomed to such a modern way of making friends. In most cases, once completing commercial bargains, the established trust could readily collapse. Invisible to trust forces people to wear a smiling mask and communicate unfaithfully. Therefore, distinguishing between true and fake friendships becomes difficult.

    Besides, heavy burdens from work make time too limited for people to express friendliness. After all, everyone has to cherish time to fight for their survival. In order to meet deadlines, people prioritize in finishing their work rather than maintaining relationships with others. Under this circumstance, people grant friendly chats as just a waste of time. Instead, they focus on their tight schedules, which makes their relations more isolated.

    By contrast, simplicity and openness may be the best words to define people’s relationships in the past. For instance, before the maturity of market-based economy in China, most of the graduates attained long-term jobs assigned by the government.  Such stable work increases cohesion in groups since workers have fewer competitions. Under this circumstance, people find it easier to make good connections with their colleagues.

    In a word, people’s friendliness remains decreasing today. So I think it is a must for us to discover the hidden friendliness and express it bravely, just like our older generations.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 9, 2021 at 3:26 am

    In my childhood, recalls from my grandparents about their old stories, even smallest details, have [ tense error ] all left a deep impression on me. Those stories presented purer and closer relationships (at that time)[unclear/too generic  ]. However, relations among people are drifting away nowadays, though they are (geologically more connected)[unclear  ]. Therefore, I have to admit that people in the past were friendlier than people are now.

    First, human relationships become more complex (in terms of business)[unclear  ]. In today’s money-oriented world, friendships may be built on the basis of business profits. People are gradually getting accustomed to such a modern way of making friends. In most cases, once (completing commercial bargains, the established trust )[logical confusion  ]could readily collapse. (Invisible to trust forces people to wear a smiling mask and communicate unfaithfully.)[hard to read  ] Therefore, distinguishing between true and fake friendships becomes difficult.

    Besides, heavy burdens from work make time too limited for people to express friendliness. After all, everyone has to cherish time to fight for their survival. In order to meet deadlines, people prioritize in finishing their work rather than maintaining relationships with others. Under this circumstance, people grant[wrong word  ] friendly chats as just a waste of time. Instead, they focus on their tight schedules, which makes their relations more isolated.

    By contrast, simplicity and openness may be the best words to define people’s relationships in the past. For instance, before the maturity of market-based economy in China, most of the [article error  ][ university ]graduates attained long-term jobs assigned by the government.  Such stable work increases[tense error  ] cohesion in groups since workers have[ tense error ] fewer competitions. Under this circumstance, people find[tense error  ] it easier to make good connections with their colleagues.

    In a word, people’s friendliness remains[ is ] decreasing today. So I think it is a must for us to discover the hidden friendliness and express it bravely, just like our older generations [ did ].

    dongyuanjushi
    University: Nanjing University
    Nationality: China
    February 9, 2021 at 4:53 am

    In my childhood, recalls from my grandparents about their old stories, even smallest details, had all left a deep impression on me. Those stories presented pure and close relationships in the twentieth century. However, despite more social connections through Internet nowadays, relations among people seem to be drifting away. Therefore, I have to admit that people in the past were friendlier than people are now.

    First, human relationships become more complex, especially in business. In today’s money-oriented world, friendships may be built on the basis of commercial profits. People are gradually getting accustomed to such a modern way of making friends. For instance, in order to accomplish a successful bargain, both sides will show friendliness to each other. But friendship behind such smiles on the surface is unstable. Once the bargain fails to meet expectations of any side, their relationships may break up subsequently.

    Besides, heavy burdens from work make time too limited for people to express friendliness. After all, everyone has to cherish time to fight for their survival. In order to meet deadlines, people prioritize finishing their work rather than maintaining relationships with others. Therefore, people consider friendly chats as just a waste of time. Instead, they focus on their tight schedules, which makes their relations more isolated.

    By contrast, simplicity may be the best word to define people’s relationships in the past. For instance, before maturity of market economy in China, most of the university graduates attained long-term jobs assigned by the government. Such stable work increased cohesion in groups since workers had fewer competitions. Under this circumstance, people found it easier to make good connections with their colleagues.

    In a word, people’s friendliness keeps decreasing today. So I think it is a must for us to discover the hidden friendliness and express it bravely, just like our older generations did.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 10, 2021 at 2:26 am

    In [/During  ]my childhood, recalls from my grandparents [‘ recalls  ] about their old stories, even [with minimum  ] smallest details, had all left a deep impression on me. Those stories presented pure and close [ interpersonal ] relationships in the twentieth century. However, despite [Despite  ]more social connections [, which were primarily driven by the  ] through Internet nowadays, relations among people seem to be (drifting away) [dwindling  ]. Therefore, I have to admit [As such, I am congruent with the statement  ]that people in the past were friendlier than people are now.

    First, human relationships become [are becoming  ] more complex, especially in business [increasingly commercialized and self-interested  ]. In today’s money-oriented world, [ many ] friendships [ derive from ]may be built on the basis of [the pursuit of  ]commercial profits. People are gradually getting accustomed to such a modern way of making friends. For instance, in [ In ]order to accomplish a successful bargain, both sides [of a business transaction  ]will [tend to  ]show friendliness to each other. But friendship behind such smiles on the surface is unstable. Once the bargain fails [,  ] to meet expectations of any side, their relationships [ the fabricated friendliness ]may break up subsequently. [evades.  ]

    Besides, heavy burdens from work [pressure from the workplace also deprives many folks of the occasions where they could   ]make time too limited for people to express friendliness. After all, everyone has to cherish [their  ]time to fight for their survival. In order to meet deadlines, people [ , and therefore they need to prioritize professional obligations ]prioritize finishing their work rather than maintaining relationships with others. Therefore, people consider friendly chats as just a waste of time. Instead, they focus on their tight schedules, which makes [, thereby making  ]their relations more isolated.

    By contrast, simplicity may be the best word to define people’s relationships in the past. For instance, before [ prior to the arrival of the ] maturity of [so-called  ]market economy in China, most of the university graduates [ had ]attained long-term jobs assigned by the government. Such stable work increased [ /fostered ] (cohesion in groups) [ gregarious cohesion ] since workers had fewer competitions. Under this circumstance, people found it easier to make good connections with their colleagues.

    In a word, people’s friendliness keeps decreasing today. So [In light of this undesirable trend,  ] I think it is a must for us to discover [ing  ] the hidden friendliness and express it bravely, just like our older generations did [would perhaps benefit most of us.  ]