What is the most useful action for people to help the environment in their local communities? (1)plant trees and create parks. (2)persuade local shops to stop providing plastic bags. (3)Increase access to public transportation, and reduce the automobiles on roads.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing What is the most useful action for people to help the environment in their local communities? (1)plant trees and create parks. (2)persuade local shops to stop providing plastic bags. (3)Increase access to public transportation, and reduce the automobiles on roads.

  • Ailee
    University: Southern University of Science and technology
    Nationality: China
    October 27, 2020 at 1:56 am

    What is the most useful action for people to help the environment in their local communities? (1)plant trees and create parks. (2)persuade local shops to stop providing plastic bags. (3)Increase access to public transportation, and reduce the automobiles on roads.

    Environment, which is related to everyone’s life, has been valued and even triggers a heated discussion over how to protect environment in our local communities. In some people’s view, plant more trees or reduce the usage of plastic bags are good choices. Contrary to these people’s opinion is my perspective that increasing access of public transportation and reduce the automobiles on roads are the best method due to the benefits to both the air conditions and sound conditions.

    What must be prioritized is that increasing access to public transportation can relieve the air pollution. To be more specific, it’s well known that automobile exhaust includes lots of carbon dioxide and nitrogen, which are the main cause of greenhouse gases and can do harm to our atmosphere. Therefore, if we can increase the access to public transportation such as adding more routes of subways and buses, then there is no doubt that more people will chose to go outside with public transportation and result in less pollution to the air.

    What should be equally worth discussing is that private cars can also make noise pollution which is bad for our environment too. In detail, the engine and car horns can both make loud noise and the noise not only makes people feel anxiety but also has negative effect on our organs. For instance, listening to noise for long time will damage our hearing. However, there will be less noise on roads if there are less private cars and more public transportation.

    Admittedly planting more trees or persuade local shops to stop providing plastic bags may also work. However, there may not have enough zones to plant more trees or build new parks since nowadays, most areas are built with tall buildings for residential or commercial use. Also, there may still have some people want to use plastic bags even though they have to pay for the bags.
    In conclude, despite several advantages of planting trees or stopping providing plastic bags, there is sufficient more evidence to prove that increasing access to public transportation is more useful in improve our environment.

    October 27, 2020 at 3:43 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 65% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.