TPO 44 Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing TPO 44 Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork.

  • xuzhengtao
    University: zhejiang uniersity
    Nationality: china
    March 1, 2022 at 9:28 am

    Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork. Which of the two approaches do you prefer?

    In this contemporary society, seldom are we provided the opportunity to avoid such a heated debate concerning whether parents should have more time to spend with their children entertaining or doing school works. In my perspective, spending time playing sports or games with children is a better choice. The following three reasons best illustrate my point of view.

    First of all, playing with children offers a good opportunity to improve children’s understanding of the society. It is widely recognized that people have little knowledge about the society in their young age. Moreover, what school teaches the youngsters is just kinds of impractical stuff which are irrelevant to real life. So it is imperative for the parents to do some entertainments with children to broaden their horizons during games or sports because in these ways, the fresh things are easier to enter the children’s world.

    Secondly, it is also a good way to build a healthy and pleasant relationship between parents and children. Nowadays adults are always busy at work and teenagers have a high burden of coursework, which makes people tired. However, playing games or sports is a more effective way to chill out than just doing the boring and messy schoolwork. Also in a relaxed and pleasant environment, parents and children are more likely to communicate with each other to achieve goals. This communication could be a strong catalyst for strengthening a family’s cohesion, creating a friendly and enjoyable atmosphere for family members.

    Lastly, it is needless to say that playing games or sports would shape children’s spiritual world, but not doing coursework. Although learning theoretical knowledge can be beneficial to children’s intelligence, lacking of team spirits and strategies would influence children’s growth disadvantageously. So never should children ignore the importance of some spirits only acquired by entertaining, which enable them to be a mature and well-rounded man.

    To sum up, the parents nowadays are supposed to properly manage their time to spend more time having fun with their children due to the better effects on children’s comprehension of society, relationship between family members and spiritual world.

    March 1, 2022 at 3:16 pm

    Fix issues evidenced on the screenshot reviews.

    xuzhengtao
    University: zhejiang uniersity
    Nationality: china
    March 1, 2022 at 6:37 pm

    In this contemporary society, seldom are we provided the opportunity to avoid such a heated debate concerning whether parents should have more time to spend with their children entertaining or doing school works. In my perspective, spending time playing sports or games with children is a better choice. The following three reasons best illustrate my point of view.

    First of all, playing with children offers a good opportunity to improve children’s understanding of society. People have little knowledge about society when they are young. Moreover, what school teaches the youngsters is just kinds of impractical stuff irrelevant to real life. So it is imperative for parents to do some entertainment with children to broaden their horizons during games or sports because in this way the fresh things are easier to enter the children’s world.

    Secondly, it is also a good way to build a healthy and pleasant relationship between parents and children. Nowadays adults are always busy at work while teenagers have a high burden of coursework, which makes people tired. However, playing games or sports is a more effective way to chill out than just doing boring and messy schoolwork. Also in a relaxed and pleasant environment, parents and children are more likely to communicate with each other to achieve goals. This communication could be a strong catalyst for strengthening a family’s cohesion, creating a friendly and enjoyable atmosphere.

    Lastly, it is needless to say that playing games or sports would shape children’s spiritual world, but not doing coursework. Learning theoretical knowledge can be beneficial to children’s intelligence, while playing games or sports bring children with team spirits and strategies, which are more crucial in children’s growth. For example, children learn how to work as a team when they are playing football. So when they are confronted with a dilemma, they will cooperate to solve the problems together.

    To sum up, the parents nowadays are supposed to properly manage their time to spend more time having fun with their children due to the better effects on children’s comprehension of society, relationships with family members and spiritual world.

    March 2, 2022 at 3:34 pm

    In this contemporary society, seldom are we provided[unnecessary passive  ] the[ /an ] opportunity to avoid (such a heated debate concerning whether parents should have more time to spend with their children entertaining or doing school works)[ wordy ] . In my perspective, spending time playing sports or games with children is a better choice. (The following three reasons best illustrate my point of view.)[ use your own words to summarize ]

    First of all, (playing with children)[ repetition ] offers a good opportunity to improve children’s [wordy/helps children to improve their  ] understanding of society. People[In fact, kids  ] have little [societal  ] knowledge about society when they are young. Moreover, what school teaches the youngsters is just kinds of [ and school instruction often proves ] impractical stuff irrelevant to real life. So it is imperative for parents to do some entertainment with children to broaden their horizons during games or sports because in this way the fresh things are easier to enter the children’s world.

    Secondly, it is also a good way to build a healthy and pleasant relationship between parents and children. Nowadays adults are always busy at work while teenagers have a high burden of coursework, which makes people tired. However, playing games or sports is a more effective way to chill out than just doing boring and messy schoolwork. Also in a relaxed and pleasant environment, parents and children are more likely to communicate with each other to achieve goals. This communication could be a strong catalyst for strengthening a family’s cohesion, creating a friendly and enjoyable atmosphere.

    Lastly, it is needless to say that playing games or sports would shape children’s spiritual world, but not doing coursework. Learning theoretical knowledge can be beneficial to children’s intelligence, while playing games or sports bring children with team spirits and strategies, which are more crucial in children’s growth. For example, children learn how to work as a team when they are playing football. So when they are confronted with a dilemma, they will cooperate to solve the problems together.

    To sum up, the parents nowadays are supposed to properly manage their time to spend more time having fun with their children due to the better effects on children’s comprehension of society, relationships with family members and spiritual world.

    March 2, 2022 at 3:42 pm

    Partial revision [simplify and resubmit your essay.]

    xuzhengtao
    University: zhejiang uniersity
    Nationality: china
    March 7, 2022 at 2:15 pm

    In contemporary society, most of parents have to face the problem of lacking time to spend with their children. In my perspective, spending time doing some recreational activities with children is a better choice.

    First of all, entertainments like games or sports helps children to improve their understanding of society. In fact, kids have little societal knowledge and school instruction often proves irrelevant to real life. So it is imperative for parents to do some entertainment with children to broaden their horizons during games or sports because in this way the fresh things are easier to enter the children’s world.

    Secondly, it is also a good way to build a healthy and pleasant relationship between parents and children. Nowadays children seldom communicate with their parents because their heavy academic burden. Nonetheless, playing games or sports is an effective way to chill out than just doing boring and messy schoolwork for children. Also, in a relaxed and pleasant environment, parents and children are more likely to exchange ideas. This communication could be a strong catalyst for strengthening a family’s cohesion, creating a friendly and enjoyable atmosphere.

    Lastly, playing games or sports would definitely shape children’s spiritual world, however doing coursework can’t. Learning theoretical knowledge can be beneficial to children’s intelligence, while playing games or sports bring children with team spirits and strategies, which are more crucial in children’s growth. For example, children learn how to work as a team when playing football. So when they are confronted with a dilemma, they will cooperate to solve the problems together.

    To sum up, the parents nowadays are supposed to properly manage their time to spend more time having fun with their children due to the better effects on children’s comprehension of society, relationships with family members and spiritual world.

    March 7, 2022 at 3:43 pm

    In contemporary society, most of parents have to face the problem of lacking [lack sufficient  ]time to spend with their children[ absolute statement; if you can’t prove, then use conditional writing ]. In my perspective, (spending[ the limited but valuable ] time)[fails to echo the prompt…the prompt relates to ‘the/that time’  ] doing some recreational activities with children is a better choice.

    First of all, entertainments like games or sports helps [grammatical error  ]children to improve their understanding of society. In fact, [ Since ]kids have little societal knowledge and school instruction often proves irrelevant to real life. [ punctuation error with coordinating conjunction ]So [ , ]it is imperative for parents to do some entertainment with children to[ can ] broaden their horizons during games or sports because in this way the[ during which time ] (fresh things are easier to enter the children’s world)[ confusing ].

    Secondly, it[unclear pronoun  ] is also a good way to build a healthy and pleasant relationship between parents and children. Nowadays children seldom communicate with their parents [ absolute statement ]because their[ grammatical error ] heavy academic burden. Nonetheless, playing games or sports is an effective way to (chill out )[ unclear/use formal writing ]than just doing boring and messy[ word choice issue ] schoolwork for children. Also, in a relaxed and pleasant environment, parents and children are more likely to exchange ideas. This [form of  ]communication could be a strong catalyst for strengthening [can strengthen  ]a family’s [familial  ]cohesion, creating a friendly and enjoyable [ domestic ]atmosphere.

    Lastly, playing games or sports would definitely shape children’s spiritual world[absolute statement  ], [ punctuation error ]however doing coursework (can’t)[wrong verb  ]. Learning [While learning  ]theoretical knowledge can be beneficial to[benefit/improve/enhance  ] children’s intelligence[ intellectual capacity ], while playing games or sports bring[grammatical error/equips  ] children with team spirits and strategies, which are more crucial in[ /to ] children’s growth. For example, children learn how to work as a team when playing football. [ punctuation error with coordinating conjunction ]So when they are confronted with [confront  ]a dilemma, they will [absolute statement/use conditional writing  ]cooperate to solve the problems together.

    To sum up, (the parents nowadays are supposed to properly manage their time to spend more time having fun with their children due to the better effects on children’s comprehension of society),[ unclear/use one ‘to’ in a sentence; this sentence has 3 ‘to’s. ] relationships with family members and [ article error ]spiritual world.[unclear sentence  ]

    March 7, 2022 at 4:06 pm

    Final revision