Whether sports and social activities should receive equal financial support?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Whether sports and social activities should receive equal financial support?

  • @Lucy
    University: 河池学院
    Nationality: China
    June 11, 2021 at 6:01 am

    Whether sports and social activities should receive equal financial support?

    In this century, being a university student has become a common thing for many of us. As a result, where the educational budget should be devoted to is a hot topic in our society. Some people hold the view that money should be put into learning issues, such as classes and libraries, while others say that we can’t ignore sports and social activities. From my perspective, our universities should stick on to their teaching stuff, so I disaree with the statement.

    First of all, it’s a inevitibale fact that there is always a limitaion for every school’s finacial budget. The spending on sports facilities and so on needs a lot of money, not to mention the a better brand costs more. Not every university can have such a large budget to cover both teaching stuff, such as the maintainess of classes and libraries, and the sports and social activities.

    Besides, which I think is the most important, students’ favor of sports and activities vary in a large range. It’s difficult to satisfy every student. Take my own experience as an example, some of my friends like going outside and chatting with many people, while others like stay alone. If all of us attend a dance party held by the university, those who like being quiet may not feel comfortable. You see, the schoole do spend money on social activities, but not all the students can enjoy it. This is a helpless realistic problem.

    Last but not the least is that universities are places that provided for learning skills not having fun. Most of students are adults now, so that they can decide what they do on their own rather than under the control of universities. Our universities should concentrete more on the teaching stuff because imparting knowledge is the main purpose of building a university. The financial support on sports and social acivities can transport on the teaching input or labs, so students can learn more in campus and have more freedom in their spare time.

    June 16, 2021 at 11:34 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. Lots of grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    June 16, 2021 at 11:34 am

    Please add my WeChat account and remind me of sending you screenshot reviews. Thanks.