Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends? 1. joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends? 1. joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling

  • Nunnaly
    University: Hunan xx University
    Nationality: China
    October 20, 2019 at 1:53 pm

    TOEFL Writing Topic: Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends? 1.
    joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling

    It is hard to deny that some people may feel energetic after doing exercise and such a fact lead impressionable people to generate the idea that doing exercise is the best way to relax. However, the opinion suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, which should be examined meticulously. As far as mind-relaxing, feasibility and knowledge-acquiring are concerned, I strongly hold the opinion that it is better to relax by reading a book or watching a movie than doing physical exercise.
    First and foremost, our mind is totally relaxed in a circumstance the movie or book provided. At that time, our mind is fully immersed into another world, which can distract us from the worries in reality. Meanwhile, you don’t have to do anything except sitting on a chair, which could hardly consume energy.

    But the voice arises that doing exercise help people to relax. Ironically, doing exercise consumes more energy and therefore make people more tired. So I hold the opinion that reading a book or watching a movie is better than doing physical exercise for people to relax both mentally and physically.

    Furthermore, reading a book and watching a movie is a more feasible way to relax. Whenever people want to do some exercise, they need to go to the playground. Since the playground has many restriction to what people can do, they may have to go to the gym for a specific training and undoubtedly lead more consumption of time and money. Conversely, when it comes to reading or watching a movie, you just need to open the computer or open the bookshelf to choose pick the one you want to enjoy.

    Last but not least, appreciating a masterpiece of books and movies enables us to broaden our horizons. It is quite like experiencing other people’s life in a short period of time and see the world from another point of view. Moreover, it develops our empathy and sensibility.

    In conclusion, reading a book and watching a movie is a beneficial way for us in many aspects especially for relaxing.

    October 21, 2019 at 9:42 pm

    TOEFL Writing Topic: Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends? 1.
    joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling.

    Score: 58.7

    Problems:

    • Many sentences exceed 20 words. Split or shorten them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate the problems/errors concerning your essay.