While the department of education in the state of Attra recommends that high school students be assigned homework everyday, the data from a recent statewide survey of high school math and science teachers give us reason to question the usefulness of daily homework. 

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing Topics While the department of education in the state of Attra recommends that high school students be assigned homework everyday, the data from a recent statewide survey of high school math and science teachers give us reason to question the usefulness of daily homework. 

  • Jay
    University: Sun Yat-Sen
    Nationality: China
    November 12, 2019 at 7:29 am

    GRE Essay Topic: While the department of education in the state of Attra recommends that high school students be assigned homework everyday, the data from a recent statewide survey of high school math and science teachers give us reason to question the usefulness of daily homework. 

    In this argument, the author recommends assigning homework no more than twice a week. Although this suggestion might be beneficial to improve students’ performance in the author’s school, some unsubstantiated assumptions which, if proven unwarranted, will surely weaken the argument a lot.

    To start with, the writer’s recommendation relies heavily on the assumption that the recent survey is statistically reliable. Whether the participants are randomly chosen from all faculties and whether the number of respondents is large enough could affect the reasoning. If this survey only did research in only a few schools in each city and many participants didn’t reply then it is hard to believe its result.

    Additionally, the author’s belief that less homework could improve the grades because students in Marlee could do better than those in Sanlee is based on the assumption that the amount of homework is the key factor and others in these two places are all the same. It could be possible that students in Marlee have better learning habits and abilities so even if they have less homework they still can gain a better grades. In this case, the author’s suggestion is totally unconvincing because it attributes the different performance to the difference in the homework.

    Even if the assumptions mentioned above are proven to be true, the argument might be doubtful because that the author also assumes that in his/her school educators should take some measures to improve students’ grades. It is possible that in his/her school students are eager to learn so that they can live a better life in the future or students’ grades are good enough. In both cases, the recommendation would be unnecessary.

    To sum up, whether the survey the author mentions is reliable, whether homework is a primary factor for academic performance and the necessity to take this measure are all currently doubtful. The author needs to provide more information related to these assumptions to make the recommendation more persuasive.

    November 16, 2019 at 3:11 pm

    Score: 50.8

    Issues:

    1. About 2/3 of the sentences exceed 20 words; you need to shorten/split them.
    2. Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts.

    In this argument, the author recommends assigning homework no more than twice a week. Although this suggestion might be beneficial to improve [grammatical error  ] students’ performance in the author’s school, some unsubstantiated assumptions which, if proven unwarranted, will surely weaken the argument a lot.

    To start with, the writer’s recommendation relies heavily on the assumption that the recent survey is statistically reliable. Whether the participants are randomly chosen from all faculties and whether the number of respondents is large enough could affect the reasoning [grammatical error/very wordy and hard-to-understand sentence  ] . If this survey only did [ wrong word/how could a survey conduct research? ] research in only a few schools in each city and many participants didn’t reply then it is [ grammatical error/subjunctive voice ] hard to believe its result.

    Additionally, the author’s belief that less homework could improve the grades because students in Marlee could do better than those in Sanlee is based on the assumption that the amount of homework is the key factor and others in these two places are all the same [ bad writing/hard to understand/use two sentences ] . It could be possible that students in Marlee have better learning habits and abilities [punctuation error  ] so even if they have less homework they still can gain a [ article error ] better grades [Subjunctive voice grammatical error  ] . In this case, the author’s suggestion is totally unconvincing because it attributes the [ article error ] different performance [  grammatical error] to the difference [ word form error ] in the homework.

    Even if the assumptions mentioned above are proven to be true, the argument might be doubtful because that [ grammatical error ] the author also assumes that in [ grammatical error ] his/her school educators should take some measures to improve students’ grades. It is possible that in his/her school students are so eager to learn so that they can live a better life in the future or students’ grades are good enough [wordy  ] . In both cases, the recommendation would be unnecessary.

    To sum up, whether the survey the author mentions is reliable, whether homework is a primary factor for academic performance and the necessity to take this measure are all currently doubtful [ redundant/hard to read ] . The author needs to provide more information related to these assumptions to make the recommendation more persuasive.

    Jay
    University: Sun Yat-Sen
    Nationality: China
    November 18, 2019 at 10:55 am

    In this argument, the author recommends assigning homework no more than twice a week. Although this suggestion might be beneficial for students’ performance, some unsubstantiated assumptions which, if proven unwarranted, will surely weaken the argument.

    To start with, the writer’s recommendation relies heavily on the assumption that the recent survey is statistically reliable. However, the author fails to indicate what group of teachers, and how many teachers the study had sampled or whether the sample is representative of the general. If only several teachers took part in the survey or only a small part of interviewers responded, the survey would be unreasonable. Because many teachers may actually assign homework everyday but they didn’t. participate in the survey.

    Additionally, the author believes that less homework could improve the grades because students in Marlee do better than those in Sanlee. The underlying assumption is that the amount of homework is the key factor to gain a high score. But students in Marlee may have better learning skills. Even if they have less homework, they still could gain higher grades. In this case, the author’s suggestion is totally unconvincing because he/she attributes different performance to the different amount of homework.

    Even though assumptions mentioned above are proven to be true, the argument might also be doubtful, because the author assumes that it is necessary for educators to reduce the amount of homework. It is possible that in his/her school, students are so eager to learn that they can live a better life in the future. Or students need homework to help them review knowledge after school. In both cases, the recommendation would be unnecessary.

    To sum up, aforementioned assumptions are all currently doubtful. The author needs to provide more information related to these assumptions to make the recommendation more persuasive.

    November 21, 2019 at 5:51 pm

    Score: 51.3

    Issues:

    1. More than 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. You need to shorten most of them.

    In this argument, the author recommends assigning homework no more than twice a week. Although this suggestion might be beneficial for students’ performance [unclear /how benefit? what performance?  ], some unsubstantiated assumptions which, if proven unwarranted, will[ absolute writing ] surely [ absolute writing ]weaken the argument.

    To start with, the writer’s recommendation relies heavily on the assumption that the recent survey is statistically reliable. However, the author fails to indicate what group of teachers specific teacher groups, the number of sampled teachers, and how many teachers the study had sampled [punctuation error  ]or sample representativeness whether the sample is representative of the general. If only several teachers took part in the survey or only a small part of[ article error ] interviewers responded, the survey would be unreasonable[wrong word  ]. Because many teachers may actually assign homework everyday [ wrong word ]but[  wrong coordinating word/punctuation error] they didn’t[ confusing ]. participate in the survey.

    Additionally, the author believes that less homework could improve the grades because students in Marlee do better than those in Sanlee. The underlying assumption is that the amount of homework is the key factor to gain a high score. But [ error of coordinating word ]students in Marlee may have better learning skills. [ lack of transitory word ]Even if they have less homework, they still could gain higher grades. In this case, the author’s suggestion is totally unconvincing because he/she attributes different performance[grammatical error  ] to the different amount [ grammatical error ]of homework.

    Even though assumptions mentioned above are proven to be true, the argument might also be doubtful, because the author assumes that it is necessary for educators to reduce the amount of homework.[  wordy] It is possible that in his/her their school, students are so eager to learn that they can live a better life in the future. Or [ coordinating word/punctuation error ]students need homework to help them review knowledge after school. In both cases, the recommendation would be unnecessary.

    To sum up, [article error  ]aforementioned assumptions are all currently doubtful. The author needs to provide more information related to these assumptions to make the recommendation more persuasive.