Some people are of the opinion that women should play an equal role in police or military forces like the army. Others believe that this work is unsuitable for women. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people are of the opinion that women should play an equal role in police or military forces like the army. Others believe that this work is unsuitable for women. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  • 1015219599
    University: BeiJing University of Chemical Technology
    Nationality: Chinese
    March 9, 2020 at 3:52 am

    Some people are of the opinion that women should play an equal role in police or military forces like the army. Others believe that this work is unsuitable for women. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

    In the present days, females have been enjoying increasingly equal opportunities in many fields as males do. Some people thus believe that women should enjoy complete<u>ly</u> equality in terms of country’s military force and police force, while others argue that it is not suitable for females to do this kind of work.

    It must be acknowledged that more and more women started to challenge the work which used to be considered as an unimaginable job for females. We have seen a lot of females use their achievements to prove that they can do better than we expected in military force or police force. For instance, Zhen Jun, one of the most excellent policewomen in China, had won three gold medals in the Police Shooting Competition. It is her charm that encourages a growing number of females to pursue their dreams even when they are denied by others.

    However, there are some dissenting voices about it. Some people claim that the work in military force and police force is gender-specific, since men and women are different in inherent abilities. They suppose that these kinds of jobs are dangerous and require people to have a strong body. It is unrealistic to make a woman as strong as a man. Besides, there are myriads of jobs that have demands of women, such as nurses and kindergarten teachers, so women should choose the field which are more suited for them rather than challenging themselves in such kind of dangerous work

    Personally, I am in favor of the opinion that females should play an equal role as males in military force and police force. I believe women can also be qualified for these jobs and will become much more significant in country’s military and police force.

    March 9, 2020 at 7:35 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

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