In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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March 27, 2021 at 3:15 pm
In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Some people think that young people depend too much on their parents when they make decisions in the past. However, young people today are more likely to make important decisions by themselves. I agree with the statement. The reasons are as followed.
First, nowadays young people can have access to the Internet which makes them get information and knowledge more conveniently. In this case, they can search for useful information to help them make decisions independently. The volume of information on the Internet is too abundant to surpass their parents’ knowledge. Therefore, young people are able to gain more useful information from the Internet other than their parents. For example, when students have to apply for grad school after graduation, they always check the university’s official website to look up important information such as the programs provided by grad schools, the admission rate and courses of a program. According to the information on the university website, students can have a deep understanding of a program and therefore they can make decisions to find a suitable program for themselves. In this process, parents can give limited advice to them.
Second, in the past parents can help young people to make decisions because they have more experience in many aspects than young people. However, young people today can have more experience in some aspects than their parents. As technology develops rapidly, there are many kinds of high technology products appear like mobile phone and computer. Most young people are familiar with the products than parents. For example, when young people want to buy a mobile phone they know which to select by comparing the price, CPU, photo function and other properties of a mobile phone. In the contrast, their parents may don’t know much about the properties of the mobile phone and they may depend on young people to make decisions.
In a word, I think young people today can make decisions more independently.
March 28, 2021 at 1:27 amScore: ungraded
Issues:
- About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing
- Lengthy paragraphs; restrict each paragraph to 90 words. (GRE essay 110-word qualifies for non-software revision; 90- word applies to TOEFL/IELTS essay )
- Most sentences are unclear due to grammatical/syntactic/factual/logical issues.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
April 8, 2021 at 2:00 pmSome people think that young people depend too much on their parents when they make decisions in the past. However, young people today are more likely to make vital decisions by themselves. I agree with the statement. The reasons are as followed.
First, nowadays young people can gain access to the Internet which makes them get information and knowledge more conveniently. In this case, they can search for information to help them make decisions independently. The volume of knowledge on the Internet is too abundant to surpass their parents’ knowledge. Therefore, young people are able to gain more helpful information from the Internet other than their parents. For example, when students have to apply for grad school after graduation they always check the university’s official website to look up important information such as the admission rate and courses of a program. According to the info on the university website, students can have a deep understanding of a program and therefore they can make decisions to find a program for themselves. In this process, parents can give limited advice to them.
Second, in the past parents can help young people to make decisions because they have more experience in many aspects than young people. However, young people today can have more experience in some aspects than their parents. With the rapid development of technology, there are many kinds of electronic products appear like mobile phone and computer. Most young people are familiar with electronic products than parents. For instance, young people know how to select a mobile phone by comparing the price, CPU and other properties of mobile phones. In the contrast, their parents may don’t know much than their children about the properties of those electronic products. In this case, they may depend on young people to make decisions.
In a word, I think young people today can make decisions more independently.
April 8, 2021 at 3:50 pmSome people think that young people depend[ grammatical error ] too much on their parents when they make[grammatical error ] decisions in the past. [loss of logical connection with the prior sentence ] However, young people today are more likely to make vital decisions by themselves. I agree with the statement[ unclear ] .
The reasons are as followed.[summarize the reasons ]First, nowadays young people can gain access to the Internet which makes them get information and knowledge more conveniently[restructure this sentence to make it better correlate with the thesis ] .
In this case, they can search for information to help them make decisions independently[ redundant ] . (The volume of knowledge on the Internet is too abundant to surpass their parents’ knowledge)[ confusion ] . Therefore, young peopleare able to gain more[ can glean ] helpful information from the Internet (other than)[ wrong phrase in this context ] their parents. For example, when students have to apply for [ article error ] grad school (after graduation)[ redundant …when ] [punctuation error ] they always check the[article error ] university’s official website to look up important information such as the admission rate andcourses of[the course offerings concerning ] a program. According to the info on the university website, students can have[use a stronger verb ] a deep understanding of[ /about ] a program[ punctuation error ] and therefore they can (make decisions to find a program for themselves)[ confusion ] . In this process, parents can give limited advice to them.Second, in the past parents can[ grammatical error ] help young people to make decisions because they have[ grammatical error ] more experience[word form error ] in many aspects than young people. However, young people today can have more experience[ word form error] in some aspects than their parents. With[ unclear preposition ] the rapid development of technology, there[dangling subject ] are many kinds of electronic products appear[grammatical error ] like mobile phone and computer. Most young people are familiar with electronic products[repetition ] than parents. For instance, young people know how to select a mobile phone by comparing the[ article error ] price[ word form error ] , CPU and (other properties)[confusion; this implies that Prices is also one of such properties ] of mobile phones. In the contrast[wrong phrase ] , their parents (may don’t)[grammatical error ] know much[wrong word ] than [too many ‘ more than’ ] their children about the properties of those electronic products. In this case, they[ too many unclear pronouns ] may depend on young people to make decisions.
In a word, I think young people today can make decisions more independently[word/phrase repetition ] .
