Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.

  • yang
    University: Northeastern University
    Nationality: China
    September 28, 2019 at 2:42 pm

    TOEFL Writing TOPIC: Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.

    Nowadays, one of the most significant discussions in young people is that young people spend little time on helping their communities. Many people agree with that, and I am in the same position. I prefer to think that young people spend more time on their own business and care less about the people around them.

    First, the network is the leading cause of young people to give less time to communities. In the past when there is no network, people mostly make friends with those who live around them because people have a lot of difficulties in contacting people who live far away from them. My grandma is a good illustration of this. At her youth, all of her best friends live around her house, this is because her friends are the only people she can get in touch with. Obviously, people give a lot of time on communities decades ago.

    Furthermore, most families only have one child in China under Chinese breeding policy. In this case, plenty of children have no chance of having the experience of living with a brother or sister. This gives rise to lacking the feeling of importance of the people around them. Finally, young people do not spend their time with communities because of unaware of the importance of their neighbors.

    However, people are becoming more busy compared with people in the last. It is common for young people to work eight hours a day, some people even work ten hours a day. For me, after a day of high-pressure work, all I think about is to relax rather than helping my communities. So, sometime we should think about young people’s hard work.

    From all I have listed above, we conclude that as a result of easy access to the outer world and lacking the awareness of the importance of people around the young people, they spend less time on helping communities now.

    October 2, 2019 at 1:28 am

    TOEFL Writing TOPIC: Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.

    Score: 75

    Suggestions: Reduce the number of sentences exceeding 20 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate issues/problems concerning your essay.

    Regards,

    Lin Qiu

     

    yang
    University: Northeastern University
    Nationality: China
    October 4, 2019 at 2:54 pm

    Nowadays, one of the most significant discussions on young people is that young people spend little time on helping their communities. Many people agree with that, and I am in the same position. I prefer to think that young people spend more time on their own business and care less about the people around them.

    First, the network is the leading cause of young people to give less time to communities. In the past, when there is no network, people mostly make friends with those who live around them because people have a lot of difficulties in contacting people who live far away from them. My grandma is a good illustration of this. At her youth, all of her best friends live around her house which is because her friends are the only people she can keep in touch. People gave a lot of time on communities decades ago.

    Furthermore, most families only have one child in China under national breeding policy. In this case, plenty of children have no chance of having the experience of living with a brother or sister. Thus, this situation gives rise to lacking the feeling of the importance of the people around them. Finally, young people do not spend their time with communities because of unaware of the indispensable of their neighbors.

    However, people are becoming busier compared with people in the last. It is common for young people to work eight hours a day. What’s more, some people even work ten hours a day. For me, after a day of high-pressure work,  the only thing on my mind is to relax rather than helping my communities. So, sometime we should take into account the hard work of young people and try to understand them.

    From all I have listed above, I conclude that because of easy access to the outer world and lacking the awareness of the importance of people around the young people, they spend less time on helping communities now.

    October 5, 2019 at 9:26 pm

    TOEFL Writing TOPIC: Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.

    Score: 74.9

    I will send you the final revision shortly.

    October 8, 2019 at 9:12 pm

    Final revision:

    TOEFL Writing TOPIC: Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.

    Nowadays, one of the most significant discussions on young people is that about young people relates to their spending spend little/an insufficient amount of time on helping their communities. Many people agree with that, and I am of in the same opinion position. I prefer to think that young people spend more time too much time on their own business and they could care less about the people around them.

    First, the network internet is the leading cause of for young people to give less time to communities. In the past, when there is was no internet network, people mostly make made friends with those who live around lived near them because people have had a lot of difficulties in contacting people who live lived far away from them. My grandma is a good illustration of this. At In/During her youth, all of her best friends live around her house which is was because her friends are were the only people she can could keep in touch with. People gave a lot of time on to their communities decades ago.

    Furthermore, most families only have one child in China under the national breeding single child policy. In this case, plenty of children have no chance of having to have the experience of living with a brother or sister. Thus, this situation gives rise to lacking a lack of a the feeling of about the importance of the people around them. Finally, young people do not spend their time with helping in their communities because they are of unaware of the their neighbors are indispensable of their neighbors.

    However, people are becoming busier compared with people in the past last. It is common for young people to work eight hours a day. What’s more, some people even work ten hours a day. For me, after a day of high-pressure work,  the only thing on my mind is to relax rather than helping my community communities. So, sometime we should take into account the hard work of young people and try to understand them.

    From all I have listed above, I conclude that because of easy access to the outer world and lacking a lack of the awareness of about the importance of people around them, the young people, they spend less/an insufficient amount of time on helping their communities nowadays now.