Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.
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October 12, 2019 at 1:50 pm
TOEFL Writing Topic: Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.
With the development of the society, people’s living style changes radically. This is expecially obvious among the youth. Recently, some people criticize that young people do not spend abundant time in helping their communities. In my opinion, I think this viewpoint is true, and young people’s lifestyle is exerted by certain reasons.
First and foremost, young people are overwhelmed by heavy study or busy work, so they do not have time to share with neighbors. Since they are always busy dealing with personal issues, they hardly have enough leisure time for themselves, not to mention involving in community activities. For example, my cousin works for a famous enterprise and he has suffered much pressure. Every weekday, he needs to work in his company for ten hours, and finish several projects at home. He can’t get enough sleep himself, so it is understandable that he never has enough time to help his community.
Moreover, young people prefer to use social media as a way to build interpersonal connections. The development of the Internet ennables young people to socialize online instead of interacting in person. Internet can provide young people with speed and convenience, so they won’t bother spending time with neighbors. For instance, I usually chat with my friends online and rarely help around in my community. I can communicate with people through WeChat or QQ wherever I go. And that is much more appealing than talk with others face to face.
Admittedly, young people should also consider people of other age. They may do not know how to use social media , and still wish to develop friendships with the youth. But, they should try to show more understandings and respect the way that young people live.
In a word, indeed,young people do not devote enough time to their communities in reality. Nevertheless, they deserve understandings due to their burden and a bias towards social media.
October 14, 2019 at 9:47 pmTOEFL Writing Topic: Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.
Score: 62.8
I will send you screenshots to illustrate the problems/errors of your essay.
October 15, 2019 at 6:23 amWith the development of society, people’s living style changes radically. This phenomenon is especially obvious among the youth. Recently, some people criticize that young people do not spend sufficient time in helping their communities. I agree with this viewpoint, and here are some reasons to explain young people’s lifestyle.
First and foremost, young people are overwhelmed by heavy schoolwork or busy jobs, so they seldom have time to share with neighbors. Since they are always busy dealing with personal issues, they hardly have enough leisure time for themselves, not to mention involving in community activities. For example, my cousin works for a famous enterprise, and he has suffered much pressure. Every weekday, he needs to work in his company for ten hours, and finish several projects at home. He can’t get enough sleep himself, so it is reasonable that he never has enough time to help his community.
Moreover, young people prefer to use social media as a way to build interpersonal connections. The wide use of the Internet enables young people to socialize online instead of interacting in person. The Internet can provide young people with speed and convenience, so they won’t bother spending time with neighbors. For instance, I usually chat with my friends online and rarely help around in my community. I can communicate with people through WeChat or QQ wherever I go. And that is much more appealing than talk with others face to face.
Admittedly, young people should also consider people of other ages. They may do not know how to use social media, and, still wish to develop friendships with the youth. But, they should try to show more understandings and respect the way that young people live.
In a word, indeed, young people do not devote enough time to their communities in reality. Nevertheless, they deserve understandings due to their burden and a bias towards social media.
October 18, 2019 at 3:15 amScore: 64.6
I will come back to you with the final revision shortly.
Regards,
Lin Qiu
October 23, 2019 at 6:12 pmTOEFL Writing Topic: Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.
Final Revision
With the development of society, people’s
living style changeslifestyles have changed radically. This phenomenon is especially obvious among the youth. Recently, some peoplecriticize thathave criticized the young peopledo not spendfor not spending sufficient timeinhelping their communities. I agree with this viewpoint, and here are some reasons to explain young people’s lifestyleslifestyle.First and foremost, young people are overwhelmed by heavy schoolwork or they are busy at their jobs, so they seldom have time to share with neighbors. Since they are always busy dealing with personal issues, they hardly have enough leisure time for themselves, not to mention involving themselves/becoming involved in community activities. For example, my cousin works for a famous enterprise, and he has suffered from a lot of
muchpressure. Every weekday, he needs to work in his company for ten hours, and finish several projects at home. He can’t get enough sleep himself, so it is reasonable that he never has enough time to help his community.Moreover, young people prefer to use social media as a way to build interpersonal connections. The wide use of the Internet enables young people to socialize online instead of interacting in person. The Internet can provide young people with speed and convenience, so they won’t bother spending time with neighbors. For instance, I usually chat with my friends online and rarely help around in my community. I can communicate with people through WeChat or QQ wherever I go. And that is much more appealing than
talktalking with others face-to-faceface to face.Admittedly, young people should also consider people of other ages. They may
donot know how to use social media,and, stillbut they still wish to develop friendships with the youth/others. But, they ( who?)should try to show more understandings and respect the way that young people live.In a word, indeed, young people do not devote enough time to their communities in reality. Nevertheless, they deserve
understandingsunderstanding due to their daily burden andatheir bias towards social media.
