Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults.
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December 26, 2019 at 4:24 pm
IELTS Task 2: Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults.
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about the crimes committed by young people. However, whether young criminals should be sentenced as adults is a controversial issue. My view is that crimes committed by young people should be considered separately from young people.
First, there is no doubt that young people are not mature enough to take charge of their crime. This is because many young people who committed crimes did not have a high education before, and they actually did not know what the crimes meant. So considering the crimes of young people as adults is not reasonable.
On the contrary, punishing teenagers may lead to a worse result. For instance, if a teenager committed some crime and was punished as an adult, he may fail to learn skills and knowledge at the period, which may push him to commit again. That means we should give a chance to the young criminals to rebuild their lives.
That is not to say that young people will never be punished any more. Everyone who breaks the law should be punished no matter who he or she is. As we know, teenagers are more likely to change themselves because they are still young. Taking a specific law for young people can prevent teenage crimes efficiently and effectively.
In summary, young people should not be judged as adults when committing crimes. Meanwhile, we should not forget the crimes committed by young people. Only by doing so can we hold a good balance between avoiding crimes and educating young people.
December 26, 2019 at 7:25 pmScore: 75.1
Issues:
- Around 25% of the sentences are passive. Try to cut it off to 10%-.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
December 27, 2019 at 7:13 amNowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about the crimes committed by young people. However, whether young criminals should be sentenced as adults is a controversial issue. My view is that the crimes committed by young people should be considered separately from adults.
First, there is no doubt that young people are not mature enough to take charge of their crimes. This is because many young people who committed crimes were not well-educated before, and they might not know what the crimes meant. So considering the crimes of young people as adults is not reasonable.
On the contrary, judging teenagers as adults may lead to a worse result. If a teenager was charged with robbery, by the law for adults he may stay in prison for three years. He may fail to learn skills and knowledge at the period, which may push him to make mistakes again. We need to give a chance to young criminals and help them rebuild their lives.
That is not to say that young people will get away with their crimes. Everyone who breaks the law should pay for it no matter who he or she is. As we know, teenagers are more likely to change themselves because they are still young. Taking a specific law for young people can prevent teenage crimes more efficiently and effectively.
In summary, young people should not be judged as adults when committing crimes. Meanwhile, we should not neglect the teenage crimes. Only by doing so can we hold a better balance between reducing crimes and educating young people.
December 30, 2019 at 2:30 pmScore: 78.7
Issues:
- About 30% of the sentences are passive.
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about the crimes committed by young people. However, whether young criminals should be sentenced as adults is a controversial issue. My view is that the crimes committed[ repetition ] by young people[repetition ] should be considered separately from adults.
First, there is no doubt that young people[ repetition/absolute writing] are not mature enough to take charge of[ wrong phrase ] their crimes. This[ vague pronoun/use concrete noun ] is because many young people who committed crimes were not well-educated
before[passive ], and[incorrect coordinating word ] they might not know what the crimes meant. [ punctuation error with coordinating word ]So considering the crimes of young people as adults is not [Not/avoid using NOT ]reasonable.On the contrary, judging teenagers as adults [ logical incompleteness/in terms of criminal behavior ]may lead to a worse result. If a teenager was [ grammatical error with subjunctive voice ]charged with robbery, by the law for adults he may[ grammatical error with subjunctive voice ] stay in prison for three years. [lack of transitory word ]He may fail to learn skills and knowledge at[ incorrect preposition ] the period, which may push him to make mistakes again. [ lack of transitory word ]We need to give a chance to young criminals and help them rebuild their lives.
That is not to say that young people will get away with their crimes. Everyone who breaks the law should pay for it no matter
who he or she is[ regardless of their age/regardless of his or her age ]. As we know, teenagers are more likely to change themselves because (they are still young)[ repetition from teenagers ]. Taking[ wrong word ] a specific law for young people can prevent teenage crimes moreefficiently andeffectively.In summary, young people should not be judged as adults when committing crimes[ repetition]. Meanwhile, we should not neglect the teenage crimes. Only by doing so can we hold a better balance between reducing crimes and educating young people.
