Younger children should be required to study art and music in addition to math.
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November 13, 2019 at 3:50 am
TOEFL Writing Topic: Younger children should be required to study art and music in addition to math.
With the increasing diversity our world gradually become, more and more people tend to study some skills to show they are actually fitted in this society. And some people even claim that younger children should be required to study art and music in addition to science and history, which is usually seen as a required course during school time. I, however, don’t think it is a wise choice.
Forcing children to study the thing they did not like will have a terrible effect on their physical and mental health. Since not all the children like studying art and music, especially if they have no talent in the art field. Take myself as an example, my parents wanted me to study saxophone when I was a child. However, I am not enjoyed listening to the saxophone music at all, not even to mention studying that. So, as you can imagine, the process if really tough, and I was really upset to study how to play it on every single class. And it even affected my daily school work, since I had to spend my leisure time on playing saxophone. So, it will have a negative effect on the children’s growth if the process of studying art is mandated.
Although it is not a wise recommendation to required children to learn art in their early time, it still will be conducive to themselves, if they are really interested in learning art. Take Langlang as an example, his farther found that his son had a talent in playing piano in Langlang’s childhood. So Langlang’s father decided to keep his son practicing piano every single day, and they even give up the chance to receive the regular education. Because both Langlang and his farther are ambitious and confident about that Langlang will finally become a famous artist which will be recognized by the whole world, which is critical to Langlang’s final success. So it is better for children’s success if they are found talented in the art and they are interested to learn the art stuff.
November 14, 2019 at 3:17 amScore: ungraded
Problems
- More than half of the sentences contain passive voice. Try to use their active counterparts.
- More than half of the sentences exceed 20 words. Try to shorten the sentences.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
November 16, 2019 at 11:30 pmWith the increasingly diversity of our world, more and more people tend to study some skills to show they have adapted to society. And some people even claim that younger children should be required to study art and music in addition to science and history, which is usually considered as a mandatory course during school time. I, however, don’t think it is a wise choice.
Forcing children to study the thing they did not like will have a terrible effect on their physical and mental health. Since not all children like studying art and music, especially if they have no talent in the art field. Take myself as an example, my parents wanted me to learn saxophone when I was a child. However, I was not enjoyed listening to saxophone music at all, not even to mention studying that. So, as you can imagine, the process was tough, and I was resisted to play it on every single class. In addition it affected my daily school study, since I had to spend my leisure time playing the saxophone. So, it will negatively affect children’s growth if the process of studying art is mandated.
Although it is not a wise recommendation to required children to learn art in their early time, it still will be conducive to themselves if they are interested in learning art. Take Langlang as an example, his father found that his son had a talent in playing piano in Langlang’s childhood. So Langlang’s father decided to keep his son practicing piano every single day, and they even give up the chance to receive regular education. Because both Langlang and his farther are ambitious and confident of Langlang will finally become a famous artist and will be recognized by the whole world. So it is better for children’s success if they are found talented in art.
November 19, 2019 at 2:47 amScore: Ungraded
Issues:
- 40% of the sentences are passive. You need to convert them into their active counterparts;
- 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. You need to shorten/split them.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
