Some people say that kids age 5-10 should be allowed to play outside once every hour, while others say that they should be allowed to play outside only during the noon break.
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November 18, 2019 at 4:15 pm
TOEFL Writing Topic: Some people say that kids age 5-10 should be allowed to play outside once every hour, while others say that they should be allowed to play outside only during the noon break. Which one do you agree with, and why?
Younger students are hopes of China’s future and they deserve a happy and relaxed childhood. Nowadays, some younger students are asked to take part in some extra classes, like painting or piano, but these younger children are tend to be very tired and only have one hour for a break. Some people claim that this way will force students learn more knowledge. However, I believe it will make younger students be unhappy and tired.
To begin with, younger students have poor concentrated ability due to the development of brains. Therefore, they are hardly to focus on lessons for a long time. Hence if adults force younger students to sit on chairs for more than one hour, they must be very tired that will effect their growth. For instance, when I was in the elementary school, my math teacher was likely to combine two classes into one and asked students to focus on lessons all time. Every time I finished class, I always felt hungry and sleeping. So, forcing students to have a lesson more than one hour do harm to younger students’ growth.
Moreover, all of younger students like playing and having lessons decrease their playing time. It is undeniable that younger students dislike having classes, not to mention lessons more than one hour. Younger students must be in bad mood. Even worse, youth will have depression. According to the research of PUMC, youth in China have high rate to low emotion and have depression. Because they are forced to participate in a lot of lessons without relax. For example, my little brother, who is 9-year-old, need to attain handcraft class, English class and mathematical Olympiad class. He sleeps at 10:00 pm every night, which impress me a lot. Therefore, I believe lessons for a long time will make younger students feel unhappy.
So, owing to all factors that I mentioned above, I suggest that taking lessons more than one hour will be bad for younger students.
November 21, 2019 at 10:47 pmScore: Ungraded
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
November 22, 2019 at 2:56 pmYounger students are China’s future，and they deserve a happy and relaxed childhood. Nowadays, some younger students are asked to take part in extra classes, like painting or piano, but these younger children tend to be very tired and only have one hour for taking a break. Some people claim this way will force students learn more knowledge. However, I believe it will make younger students unhappy and tired.
To begin with, younger students have the poor concentrated ability due to the developing brains. Therefore, they are difficult to focus on lessons for a long period of time. If adults force younger students to sit in chairs for more than one hour, then they must be very tired that negatively affects their brains’ developing. When I was in elementary school, my math teacher was likely to combine two classes into one and asked students to focus on lessons for a long time. Every time I finished classes, I always felt hungry and sleepy. So, forcing students to have a lesson over one hour do harm to younger students’ growth.
Moreover, all younger students like playing outsides, and having lessons decrease their playing time. It is undeniable that younger students dislike having classes, not to mention classes more than a hour. Without having enough time to play with friends,younger students must be in bad moods. Even worse, they will have depression. According to the research of PUMC, younger students in China have a high rate to have low emotion and depression because they are forced to participate in a lot of lessons without any relaxation. For example, my 9-year-old brother need to attend art class, English class and a mathematical Olympiad class. He sleeps at 10:00 pm every night, which is very for a young child. Therefore, I believe lessons for a long time will make younger students stressful.
Having long classes harm young students’ growths because they have less time to take a break. Also, this type of education can easily push students into depression. Thus, I support the view that having lessons over one hour will be bad for younger students
December 4, 2019 at 9:24 pmScore: Ungraded.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
December 5, 2019 at 1:30 pmYounger students are China’s future, and they deserve a happy and relaxed childhood. Nowadays, some children are asked to take extra classes, like painting or piano, but these younger children tend to be very tired and only have one hour to take a break. Some people claim this way will force students to learn more knowledge. However, I believe it will make younger students unhappy.
To begin with, younger students have poor concentrated ability due to the developing brains. Therefore, they are difficult to focus on lessons for a long time. If adults force younger students to sit in chairs for more than one hour, then they must be exhausted that negatively affects their brains’ developing. When I was in elementary school, my math teacher was likely to combine two classes into one and asked students to focus on lessons for a long time. Every time I finished classes, I always felt hungry and sleepy. So, forcing students to have lessons over one hour do harm to younger students’ growth.
Moreover, all younger students like playing outsides, and having lessons decrease their playing time. Undeniably, younger students dislike having classes, not to mention classes more than an hour. Without having enough time to play with friends, younger students must be in bad moods. Even worse, they will have depression. According to the research of PUMC, children age 5-10 in China have a high rate to have depression because they are forced to participate in a lot of lessons without any relaxation. For example, my 9-year-old brother need to attend the art class, the English class and the mathematical Olympiad class. He sleeps at 10:00 pm every night, which is very for a young child. Therefore, I believe lessons for a long time will make younger students stressful.
Having long classes harm young students’ growth because they have less time to take a break. Also, this type of education can easily push students into depression. Thus, I support the view that having lessons over one hour will be bad for younger students.
December 19, 2019 at 11:05 pmScore: 72.4
Younger students are China’s future, and[ so]they deserve a happy and relaxed childhood. Nowadays, some children are asked to take extra classes
, like[ such as ] painting or piano, but these younger children tend to be very tired [ lengthy ]and only have one hour to take a break[ grammatical error]. Some people claim this [ unclear pronoun ]way will force [ article error ]students to learn more knowledge. However, I believe it [ unclear pronoun ]will make younger students unhappy.To begin with, younger students have [article error ]poor concentrated ability due to the developing brains[ unclear ]. Therefore, they are difficult [logical error ]to focus on lessons for a long time. If adults force younger students to sit in chairs for more than one hour, then they[ unclear pronoun ] must be[ BE verb] exhausted that[ grammatical error ] negatively affects their brains’ developing[ word form error ]. When I was in elementary school, my math teacher was likely to combine two classes into one and asked students to focus on lessons for a long time. Every time I finished classes[word form/article error ], I always felt hungry and sleepy. So, forcing students to have lessons over one hour do [ grammatical error ]harm to[ wordy] younger students’ growth.
Moreover, all [ absolute writing]younger students like playing outsides, and[ incorrect coordinating word ] having lessons decrease [ grammatical error ]their playing time. Undeniably, younger students dislike having [redundant ]classes, not to mention [article error ]classes more than an hour. Without having enough time to play with friends, younger students must [ absolute writing ]be in bad moods. Even worse, they will have depression. According to the research of PUMC, children age [ word form error ]5-10 in China have a high rate to have depression [ wordy ]because they are forced [absolute writing ]to participate in a lot of lessons without any [absolute writing ]relaxation. For example, my 9-year-old brother need [ grammatical error ]to attend the art class, the English class and the mathematical [ word form error ]Olympiad class. He sleeps at 10:00 pm every night, which is very [ grammatical error ]for a young child. Therefore, I believe lessons for a long time will make younger students stressful.
Having long classes harm[ grammatical error ] young students’ growth because they have less time to take a break. Also, this type of education can easily push students into depression. Thus, I support the view that having lessons over one hour will be bad for younger students.
December 21, 2019 at 4:16 pmYounger students are China’s future, so they deserve a happy and relaxed childhood. Nowadays, some children are asked to take extra classes, such as painting or piano. But these younger children are always very tired and only have one hour to relax. Some people claim extending class time will force students to learn more knowledge. However, I believe it will make younger students unhappy.
To begin with, younger students have a poor concentrated ability due to their developing brains. Therefore, it is difficult for them to focus on lessons for a long time. If adults force younger students to sit in chairs for more than one hour, then students must been exhausted, which negatively affects their brains’ development. When I was in elementary school, my math teacher was likely to combine two classes into one and asked students to focus on lessons for a long time. Every time I finished classes, I always felt hungry and sleepy. So, forcing students to have lessons over one hour does harm to students’ growth.
Moreover, younger students like playing outsides. Also, having lessons will decreases their playing time. Undeniably, younger students dislike taking classes, not to mention the class more than an hour. Without having enough time to play with friends, younger students will be in bad moods. Even worse, they will have depression. According to the research of PUMC, children aged 5-10 in China have a high rate to have depression because they have to participate in a lot of lessons without relaxation. For example, my 9-year-old brother needs to attend the art class, the English class and the mathematics Olympiad class. He sleeps at 10:00 pm every night, which is very late for a young child. Therefore, I believe lessons for a long time will make younger students stressful.
Having long classes harms young students’ growth because they have less time to take a break. Also, this type of education can easily push students into depression. Thus, I support the view that having lessons over one hour will be bad for younger students.
January 14, 2020 at 8:31 pmScore: 73.4
I will send you back the revised essay shortly.
January 17, 2020 at 12:21 amTOEFL Writing Topic: Some people say that kids age 5-10 should be allowed to play outside once every hour, while others say that they should be allowed to play outside only during the noon break. Which one do you agree with, and why?
Younger students are China’s [geographically biased ]future, so they deserve a happy and relaxed childhood. Nowadays, some children are asked [ passive ]to take extra classes, such as painting or piano. [ punctuation error with coordinating word ]But these younger children are always[ absolute writing ] very tired and only have one hour to relax. Some people claim extending class time will force students to learn more knowledge [remove word]. However, I believe it[ unclear pronoun ] will make younger students unhappy.
To begin with, younger students have a poor concentrated ability [rephrase] due to their developing brains. Therefore, (it is difficult for them to ) [ redundant ]focus on lessons for a long time. If adults force [ grammatical error with subjunctive voice ]younger students to sit in chairs for more than one hour, then students must been [ grammatical error with subjunctive voice ]exhausted, which negatively affects their brains’ development. When I was in elementary school, my math teacher was likely to combine two classes into one and asked students to focus on lessons for a long time. Every time I finished classes, I always felt hungry and sleepy. [punctuation error with coordinating words ]So, forcing students to have lessons over one hour does harm to students’ growth.
Moreover, younger students like playing outsides [noun form]. Also, having lessons will decreases [verb form] their playing time. Undeniably, younger students dislike taking classes, not to mention the class [insert preposition] more than an hour [rephrase]. Without having enough time to play with friends, younger students will be in [insert article] bad moods [noun form]. Even worse, they will have depression. According to the research of PUMC, children aged 5-10 in China have a high rate to have depression because they have to participate in a lot of lessons without relaxation. For example, my 9-year-old brother needs to attend the [remove article] art class, the [remove article] English class and the [use different article] mathematics Olympiad class. He sleeps at 10:00 pm every night, which is very late for a young child. Therefore, I believe lessons for a long time will make younger students stressful [word form].
Having long classes harms young students’ growth because they have less time to take a break. Also, this type of education can easily push students into depression. Thus, I support the view that having lessons over one hour will be bad for younger students.
