dexterchou
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  • dexterchou
    University: Zhejiang University
    Nationality: China
    July 4, 2019 at 11:52 am

    Nowadays, all kinds of news are striking our eyes. Some people think that we should know what is happening every day. However, in my point of view, letting the flows of excessive information occupy our attention.

    Firstly, we human beings have limited energy every day, and we should carefully apply the energy. Imagine that, after working 4 hours on math, you would feel exhausted and would not have extra energy to solve another 4 hours’ SAT examination. Similarly, if you care about what is going on around the world, you will be bound to reduce the energy on your original work. This is not a wise decision because less energy on work may make you less efficient and earn less money.

    Moreover, excessive information would bring you negative influence. The more you read, the more you are likely exposed to the spite. For example, rumors about your idol which make you annoyed are even released by his own group — only to help him become the discussion center of the public. However, after reading those rumors, apart from the harm brought to you by the unhealthy emotion, you are also likely to act capriciously and make mistakes at work. Therefore, the overload information may hurt your soul as well as your body, and thus you should keep away from them.

    Some people may argue that being out of date may lead to others’ scorns on your ignorance. Is that really the case? For LeBron James, he turned off his Twitter and other social media, which helped him win the championship in 2016. No one could laugh at him provided that he did not know other news taking place. Hence, for us, we should always bear in mind what matters to us most and focus on them.

    In a nutshell, the overload information will not only decrease our work efficiency but also hurt our health and push us away from success. What we need is to focus on our own business and do a good job.

    dexterchou
    University: Zhejiang University
    Nationality: China
    July 1, 2019 at 9:47 am

    Nowadays, all kinds of news are striking our eyes. Some people think that we should try to know what is happening every day. However, in my point of view, it is silly to let the flows of information provided by the world occupy our attention.

    Initially, we human beings have limited energy every day and we should carefully apply it. Imagine that, after working 4 hours on math, you wouldn’t have extra energy to solve another 4 hours’ SAT examination. Similarly, if you spend your energy finding out what is going on around the world, you will be bound to reduce the energy spent on your original work. This is not a wise decision because this may make you less efficient in your work and thus make less money.

    Moreover, excessive information would bring you negative influence. The more you read, the more you are likely exposed to the spite. For example, rumors on your idol that make you annoyed are even released by his own group — only to help him become the discussion center of the public. However, after reading them, apart from the harm brought to you by the bad mood, you are also likely to act capriciously and make mistakes at work. Therefore, the overload information may hurt your soul as well as your body and thus you should keep away from them.

    Some people may argue that being out of date may lead to others’ scorns on your ignorance. Is that really the case? For LeBron James, he turned off his twitter and other social media, which helped him win the championship in 2016. No one could laugh at him provided that he did not know other anecdotes. When it comes to us, we should always bear in mind what matters to us most and focus on that.

    In a nutshell, the overload information will not only decrease our work efficiency but also hurt our health and push us away from success. What we need is to focus on our own business and do a good job.

    dexterchou
    University: Zhejiang University
    Nationality: China
    June 27, 2019 at 2:47 pm

    Nowadays, all kinds of news are striking our eyes. Some people think that we shall try to know what is happening every day. However, in my point of view we should not be overwhelmed by the information given by the world.

    Initially, we human beings have limited energy every day and we should carefully applied it. Imagine that, after working 4 hours on math, you wouldn’t have extra energy to solve another 4 hours’ SAT examination. So, if you spend your energy finding out what is going on around the world, you will be bound to reduce the energy spent on your original work. This not a wise decision because it is your work rather than those nonsense that gives you money.

    Moreover, excessive information would bring you negative influence. The more you read, the more you are likely exposed to the spite. For example, rumors on your idol which make you annoyed are even released by his own group — only to help him become the discussion center of the public. However, after reading them, apart from the harmfulness brought to you by the bad mood, you are also likely to act capriciously and make mistakes at work. Therefore, the overload information may hurt your soul as well as body and thus you should keep away from them.

    Some people may argue that being out of date may lead to others’ scorns on your ignorance. Is that really the case? For LeBron James, he turned off his twitter and other social media, which helped him win the championship in 2016. No one could laugh at him provided that he does not know other anecdotes. When it comes to us, we should always bear in mind what matters to us most and just focus on that.

    In a nutshell, the overload information not only will occupy your limited energy and decrease your work efficiency but also may hurt your health and push you away from success. What you need is to focus on your own business and do a good job

    dexterchou
    University: Zhejiang University
    Nationality: China
    June 21, 2019 at 6:56 am

    News is happening everywhere in the world every day. Some people think that we need to keep an eye on these things in order to keep up with the world’s pace. However, in my point of view, we should not be overcome by the information around us.in

    Definitely, we human beings have limited energy every day and we should carefully apply them. Imagine that, after working 4 hours on math, most people wouldn’t have the extra energy to solve another 4 hours’ SAT examination. So, if you spend your energy finding out what is going on around the world, you are bound to reduce the energy spent on your original work. As it is your work rather than that nonsense that give you money, hence I believe it would be wiser to spend more time on your work.

    Moreover, excessive information would bring you negative influence. Internet nowadays provides us with easy access to various affairs from politic conflicts to online stars’ anecdotes. Convenient as it seems, you are also exposed to the spite on the internet. For example, rumors on your idol may make you annoyed and want to fight for your idol. But in fact, this rumor is even released by his own group — only to help him become the discussion center of the public. However, apart from the harmfulness brought by the bad mood, you are also likely to act capriciously and make mistakes at work. Therefore, the overload information may hurt your soul as well as body, you should keep away from them.

    Some people may argue that being isolated from the world may make you out of date and thus other people would scorn your ignorance. Is this really that the case? I still remember the words “Focus on yourself and do the right thing.” said Lebron James during the NBA final games. He turned off his twitter and other social media. All he wanted is the NBA championship, so he focused on that and finally made it in 2016. Is there any chance for him to be laughed at provided that he does not know the news like where the U.S. president has been? Probably not. We should bear in mind that there is no need or time to worry about these affairs as long as you know what is the most important matter to you.

    In a nutshell, the overload information would hurt you and push you away from success. What you really need is to just focus on your own business and do a good job.

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    Well, honestly speaking, I am really not able to shorten the passage anymore, or its logic and integrity would be influenced.  So I think this may be the final revision I made if I stick to the original line of reasoning of this passage. 😉

    Besides, could I know the corresponding score in TOEFL scores (30)?

    Thank you

    dexterchou
    University: Zhejiang University
    Nationality: China
    June 18, 2019 at 4:11 pm

    There are all kinds of affairs happening every day around or far away from us. Some people think that we need to keep an eye on these things in order to keep up with the world’s pace. However, in my point of view, we should not be overcome by the information around us let alone the matters far away from us.

    Definitely, we human beings have limited energy every day and we should carefully applied them. Imagine that, after working 4 hours on math, do you still have the energy to solve another 4 hours’ SAT examination? Most people may just want to lie on the bed than to read more questions. This is an example of energy used up. So, if you spend your energy finding out what is going on around the world, you are bound to reduce the energy spent on your original work. As it is your work rather than those nonsense that give you money, hence I believe it would be wiser to spend more time on your work.

    Moreover, some negative emotions may arise due to the excessive information you collect from the world. Convenient as the internet seems, you are also exposed to the spite on the internet. For example, rumors on your idol may make you annoyed and even fight against the people who send or believe these rumors. Consequently, you are in a bad mood, this is harmful to your health and then you may make mistakes during your work owing to the bad mood, which may make you pay the penalty. Besides, you can never imagine that this rumor is even released by his own group — only to help him become the discussion center of the public! Your worry about idol is just a joke in the eyes of other people and you even may pay for it with your own health time and even money. Therefore, the overload information may hurt your soul as well as body, you should keep away from them.

    Some people may argue that being isolated from the world may make you out of date and thus other people would scorn your ignorance. Is this really that the case? “Focus on yourself and do the right thing.” This is once said by Lebron James during the NBA final games. He turned off his twitter and other social media. All he wanted is the NBA championship, so he focused on that and finally made it in 2016. From this case, we should know that there is no need to worry about these affairs as long as you know what is the most important matter to you. For James, he won his champion in 2016, is there any chance for him to be laughed at provided that he does not know where the U.S. president has been? Probably not.

    In a nutshell, the overload information not only will occupy your limited energy and decrease your work efficiency but also may hurt your health and push you away from success. What you really need is to just focus on your own business and do a good job.

    dexterchou
    University: Zhejiang University
    Nationality: China
    April 17, 2019 at 1:31 pm

    Nowadays, some people argue that all college students should take history classes. As history could help students to realize our world better and step further in the future, I firmly stand behind this statement.

    Learning history could make life more meaningful. It’s not strange that some people who are thought to be successful secularly feel vacuous about the world they are living since they rarely have a chance to learn it. Children in China are born with the expectations from their parents to grow up as excellent people. Thus they are required to spend their time learning the useful classes and getting excellent scores to enter the famous universities, which leads to these kids being full of knowledge but without the awareness of why they need these knowledge or what they can do to the world with their knowledge. However, rather than focused on secular problem, history classes tell the interactions between the people and their worlds, this would help students in the university to start to realize themselves as well as the world: who they are, where they come from and where they are going. Equipped with history knowledge, they will get a deeper understanding of the world, which will help them to live a fulfilling life instead of doing the repetitive work.

    Moreover, history can serve as the reference when problems come out. By learning history classes, you get to know the experience and wisdom of the people in ancient time and with which you could deal with many difficult issues. For example, from the books I read about China history, I know lots of great generals like Zedong Mao, Xin Han and Geliang Zhu, who are adept in employing people and managing countries. After familiar with their theories, I became more skilled in cooperating with others and make our team perform better. Besides, learning history could also help us know how the world evolve from past to present and predict how it will evolve from present to the future. With rational prediction, we could equip ourselves with what we are still lacking and get prepared before true future arrives.

    To sum up, learning history not only help us know our world better but also could help us perform better in the future. Therefore, it is highly recommended that everyone should take history classes.

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    This essay scores 64.1.

    Problems:

    1. Extensive use of passive voice sentences;
    2. More than half of the sentences exceed 20 words;
    3. Paragraphs exceed 85 words.
    4. Lengthy essay (reduce to 320 words).