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  • June 25, 2020 at 9:03 pm

    Score: ungraded

    (Should we educate children according to rules?)[ logically confusing ] (Some parents believe that we cannot emphasize strict disciplining too much.)[confusing  ] However, some educationists argue that we should not impose too many rules on children. [ confusing ]From my point of view, children should abide by some basic conduct codes, but they should not be restricted too much.

    On the one hand, some[ many sentences start with SOME ] parents believe that rules can hold children accountable for their behaviors[confusing  ]. That is children, unlike grownups, do not realize the consequences of what they have done[absolute statement  ]. Therefore, rules can make them aware of how to behave in a socially acceptable way. As an example[ wrong phrase ], rules help them act proper table manners and greet each other politely. Aside from that, safety rules also (play an important role in children’s lives)[unclear  ]. In this case, children can behave well in their formative years.[ logically confusing ] Finally, they might fail at the workplace.[ logically confusing ]

    On the other hand, some educationists hold the view that strict rules impede kid’s creativity and imagination development. To be more specific, if parents or teachers ask children do every single thing in terms of rules or regulations rigidly; it is hard for them to perform well in the later career. In fact, they lack ability to plan schedule independently. As a result, children cannot complete the tasks by themselves.

    As far as I am concerned, appropriate rules are conducive to kids’ development. But strict rules stifle children’s creative and imaginary abilities. It is essential for parents and educators to seek a balance between rules and the freedom of children.

    June 25, 2020 at 4:17 pm

    Score: ungraded

    With the increasing bond between countries, people should know each other better than before. Some people insisted [ tense error ] that students need to be taught [ passive ] countries’ cultures at universities[word form error  ], but others think this policy will increase the financial burden of school. I prefer the first idea.[the first and the 2nd support the same argument  ]  [ cliche; rewriting introductory paragraph ]

    Firstly, taking the [  article error]cultural class (has the advantage of)[ unclear ] studying abroad. (Nowadays more and more students are willing to choose overseas universities and colleges. So having a better understanding of other cultures will improve their learning environment. )[  logically confusing]Meanwhile, it[unclear pronoun  ] also intensifies their [unclear pronoun  ]ability to live independently. Taking my cousin as an example, [ punctuation error ]he (took his graduate degree)[ confusing ] in America. [lost logical connection from the last sentence  ]American lifestyle was totally different from his, [ punctuation error ]sometimes he liked to read books alone at[wrong preposition  ] weekends [punctuation error  ]but his American roommate want [grammatical error  ]to hold a big party. (If he had learned the American lifestyle in his universities)[ confusing ], he would pick Chinese roommates[word inconsistency  ].

    Secondly, students who took cultural classes will have more competitive strength in job interviews. More foreign companies open substantial branch offices in China, and these offices offer thousands of job positions. For interviewers, they prefer to hire those applicants who have familiar with their countries’ cultures. According to an internet research report, staffs who know their foreign companies’ background and culture have better performance at work. Moreover, those staffs have a sense of belonging, which makes them stay longer. It is a win-win situation for both companies and staff.

    Admittedly, opening an extra cultural class might increase the spending of the universities, because universities have to hire relative professors and provide rooms. However, compared with the potential benefits of the class, the cost is negligible, in my opinion. Consequently, it is quite wise to require students to take a cultural class.

    In conclusion, I believe all the students should take this kind of class for their own sake.

    June 25, 2020 at 3:36 pm

    Score: 54.8

    [ Since money ]Money serves as a foundation of [keeps  ]society[running,  ] and [ prudent/wise ]money management becomes an essential part of people’s life. [ As such, I back the affirmation  that]Some people advocate that young adults [children  ]should cultivate good money management habits. I agree with the statement.[, which would help them to become financially conscious adults.  ]

    First of all, the earlier young adults [children  ]are aware of the importance of financial management, the deeper they will realize that money does not come readily. Comparing with asking for parents[ logical confusion ], children taking charge of their own money will learn how to possess money. Take me as an example, [ punctuation error ]when I was young, my parents give[ grammatical error ] me two hundred yuan each month as my pocket money. The limitation of money necessitates[ grammatical error ] me to (consider carefully)[ unclear ] and store the money when (the price is not affordable)[ unclear/grammatical error ]. Meanwhile, this deliberateness arouses[ grammatical error ] my awareness that money is limit[ word form error ] and valuable [ punctuation error ]which ingrains an understanding [preposition error  ]hardship parents have[grammatical error  ].

    Second, [ Additionally, ]learning how to budget their[shift of person  ] money fosters teenagers’ independence. Instead of relying on parents, children have to make their own rational decisions (when facing problems and risks)[irrelevant to the topic  ]. They need to (compare with different values)[ grammatical/logical error ] of various merchandises and choose the most cost-effective one. Through the process of handling issues, they[unclear pronoun  ] can gather experience to resolve difficulties rather than asking elder people for help.

    Finally, through of [preposition error  ]learning money-management skills, children can cultivate their abilities to (resist temptations and control desires)[ unclear ]. As we all know, humans’ desires are unlimited. In many cases, young adults who lack maturity are more likely to buy gaudy commodities with impulsive emotion[word form error  ]. With budgeting limited money, children can make reasonable choices and resist [article error  ]lure of seemingly useful goods.

    There is no denying that learning to manage their own money at a young age is the best option for one to spend childhood[factual error  ]. During this period of time, children invest time in budgeting money will gain more edges in the upcoming competitive future.

    June 24, 2020 at 3:46 pm

    Score: 59.3

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    The statement may hold[s  ] true in most [ many ] cases that we can find in [during  ]human history, while[but  ] in some [instances,  ] it may[ does ] not. Although the past achievement within a [specific  ]field is helpful to a contribution made later [can inspire latter ones  ]within that[ the ] same field, [I argue that it is not always the case. ]we have to accept that sometimes it is not necessary at all.

    [ Admittedly, ]Throughout human history[ witnessed ], there are[is  ] a good deal of [ a ]significant [ number of ]contributions built upon [ prior ] achievements from the past. Thousands of years ago, [ For millions of years, ](where there were rarely any subjects,)[  unclear] people made good use of their plain observation of [observed  ]mother nature[ with their eyes ]. Although [ the derived knowledge ](such empirical amalgamate)[ unclear ] could barely be termed as great discoveries, [ the wisdom ]they surely were an unignorable influence for later [cultivated ]great thoughts on [for  ]the newborn science. Especially in[ In the ] fields of Physics and Astronomy, [ for instance, ]such empirical observation was definitely [  became] a direct source for generalization and[ , ] inducement[, speculation and theoretical assumption among great minds  ]. After that, speculations and theories could be inspired in great minds. [Although the imagination and creativity of the great minds are also indispensable parts to complete the puzzle of science, we cannot neglect the strong influence of the former achievements in that field. Therefore, the statement holds true for the ancient times.][redundant  ]

    Now back to [ the ] 21st century, (a modern world with numerous highly developed academic fields, where there is little chance left for a potential subject to emerge.)[ unclear ] But that is not to say, [  that]we don’t have [lack preexistent  ]brilliant ideas made recently. [ In fact, all ]All the records of Nobel Prize [ records ] in recent years are living examples [ inspirations for even greater innovations ]. And if [If  ]we care [ cared ] enough to scan [ scanned ]through the records of each field, we can [would  ]easily find out [discover  ]that none of these [ only a small portion of these ]contributions [are newly obtained  ]were freshly made yesterday: [. Rather,  ]rather, they [most of them  ]are firmly grounded[ rooted ] in the contributions made by earlier people. Without these[ such ] valuable achievements made by experts from the past, [many  ]revolutionary [ important scientific]contributions of new theories could hardly be inspired[would not emerge  ]. So the statement is also true for [ the ]present time.

    [ Like skyscrapers that require bricks and cement, ]As we all know, the skyscraper of science [sciences  ]or any other fields started with nothing, and gradually grounded with bricks and embellished with all the ornaments[also need groundwork  ][In general, this is true.   ]However, with all the evidence above, we cannot deny that there are certainly [ However, certain]exceptions [still exist  ]in some circumstances. Obviously, the [ The ]overture of any field [many new fields ]couldn’t base on the [ past ]achievement from the past: because there was no “past” yet, let alone (the important contributions made early those days)[  unclear]. Also, for some subjects, especially those interdisciplinary subjects[ones  ], it is more important to comprehend [acquiring  ]knowledge from multiple fields to make contributions in its own[ is crucial ]. (It follows that the achievement in its very own field is rather less important. Those were some of the minor conditions in which the statement seem to go to far.)[ unclear ]

    In a word, the statement (holds true)[ repetition ] in most cases both in ancient times or [ and the]modern [era  ]world of 21st century. But we also have to admit that, for a newborn subject or an interdisciplinary subject, the statement is way too absolute.

    June 24, 2020 at 3:25 pm

    Score: 40.9

    Issues:

    1. About 85% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    June 24, 2020 at 3:22 pm

    Invalid [ You need to complete the revision of your other essay prior to resubmitting this one.]

    June 24, 2020 at 3:10 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Whether kids should stick with rules or do what they (have been)[ are ] asked [ to do ] has been a debated topic.[ logical confusion: the two things mean the same/cliche ] Some seniors[ unclear word ] believe that strict discipline[ word form error ] benefit[ grammatical error ] of regulating kids[ grammatical error ] . However, some educationists argue that we should not stress[ wrong word ] too[ wrong adverb ] many rules on them[ unclear pronoun ] . From my point of view, (I do agree)[ redundant ] children should abide [  grammatical error] some basic behavior codes, but they should not be restricted too much.

    On the one hand, some seniors[ wrong word ] believe [ that ] rules (help make children hold accountable)[ unclear/wordy ] for their behaviors. That is, children, unlike grownups, do not realize the consequence of what they done[ grammatical error ] . And [  coordinating word error/punctuation error] rules can make them aware how to behave in a socially acceptable way. For example, rules help them act proper table manners and greet each other politely. Besides, safety rules also share [  wrong word] an important role in children’s lives. In this case, children can behave well in their socially formative years.

    On the other hand, some educationists hold the view that strict rules impede kids’ creativity and imagination (in childhood)[  redundant] . To be more specific, if children grew up in a (stiff rules environment)[ unclear ] ; it is hard for them to perform well in the workforce. That is, they lack of [grammatical error  ] ability to plan; (stick with every single rules and depend on others too much)[  grammatical error] . As a result, they [  unclear pronoun] cannot complete the tasks by themselves. Finally, they might fail at [ article error ] workplace.

    As far as I am concerned, appropriate rules are conducive to kids’ development. But strict rules can stifle kids’ creativity and imagination.[lack of transitory word/words  ] It is essential for seniors and educators to find a balance between rules and [  article error] freedom of kids.

    June 24, 2020 at 2:53 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    June 24, 2020 at 2:24 am

    Invalid [Please complete the revision of your other essay prior to resubmitting this one.]

    June 24, 2020 at 2:11 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    June 23, 2020 at 10:38 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    June 23, 2020 at 9:57 pm

    Score: 54

    Nowadays, [ When the economy does well, ]job options [are abundant.  ]are essential in one’s life. [ During the current covid-19 pandemic, however, ]I think[ argue that ] people should find a steady employment, although someone may be prone to pursue an advanced career[  unclear].

    On the one hand, job security leads to a direct impact on [ensures  ]the standard of one’s life. First, The steady job means that people are likely to earn a steady income. By earning salaries, people can raise their family[ families ] and cover [ by ]their living expenses. They are able to pay [ paying ]off the mortgage[s,  ] and pay bills[ and other expenses ].

    Second, [Additionally,  ]a steady career makes it possible for people [helps  ]to build [a  ] strong[er  ] family ties between parents and children[ domestic/familial bond ]. After having enough money, parents can [use their income to  ]meet their children’s demand[s,  ]. It can [thereby  ]avoid[ing  ] domestic conflicts (because of)[ /resulted from ] financial difficulties[/hardship  ]. (What’s more, parents may use their income to build comfortable living environment. It is of beneficial [ word form error ]to children’s growth.)[ unclear ]

    On the other hand, some opponents [Opponents/critics  ]argue that job satisfaction [ surpasses career security ] should be given a priority. [Their argument erects/(sits squarely) on the fact that  ]They consider that [ many ]people are always tend to have a [ advance their ]career advancement and [in order to  ]enjoy a sense of success. (For example, someone may switch their job because they are intent upon finding their interested fields. Many people also pursue  opportunities to work in  large companies, where can serve a high-level platform for them.)[difficult to understand/lots of mistakes  ] They[ This makes them to ] believe [ that ]they can tap into their potential and achieve their ambitions easily in these large companies.

    In my opinion, it is realistic to find a steady employment.[ unclear ] The career advancement is[remains  ] (far away)[ unattainable for ] from the majority of [ most ]people [during the post-pandemic period  ]. In other words, pursuing job satisfaction always means fierce competition with others. As a result, [I ague that  ]people are likely [should  ]to work under pressure instead of achieving a [ while sacrificing the ]sense of satisfaction. To sum up, it is important for people to find a steady employment.

    June 23, 2020 at 9:24 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 40% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    People have different view [ views on/concerning ]whether sports professionals’ [ high ]salaries are justified or not. In my opinion, sports stars deserve high remuneration as[since  ] they work[have worked  ] hard to get to where they are;[ . ] however[ However ], their salaries should be at par with [those in  ]other professions (as they play a vital role in the society)[ unclear ].

    For those people who [ Those ]advocate that the [ advocating high  ]salaries sports athletes received[ receive ] are fully justified claim that sports-related job[ jobs ] is considered [are  ]risky[.  ] [ Clearly, playing a game or even training is prone to ]as they tend to incur injuries during a game or while training.

    Moreover, one of the reasons why athletes deserve [good pay because  ] to get every dime available is that (they are setting themselves for life)[ unclear ]. Once a professional athlete[ s ] retires [from a sporting career  ], most of them do not [ fail to ]get a lucrative job or career. Therefore, it is justified [ the short duration of their career justifies a high salary. ]that they get paid more as their career is never going to last for a long time.

    On the other hand, some people claim that these [Critics argue that athletes’  ]athletes do not deserve the huge salaries [ remain uncomparable with  ]they are getting argue that their earnings [ of other professionals, ]should be at par or equivalent with other professions as they play a significant role in [ who also make significant societal contribution ]the society. For instance, doctors [ Medical students, for instance, receive lengthy, specialized medical training prior to becoming doctors ]spent a long time specializing to be able to save lives. In addition[Similarly  ], teachers also should be paid more as they are the people who made it possible for other professionals to be [have helped most people to get to  ]where they are. Without teachers, there will be no doctors, lawyers or even sports professionals.

    In conclusion, I agree that sports athletes should be paid more as[ since ] they devote their entire [ the vernal season of their ]life to be where they are and their profession[.  ] is not a lifetime career; however[However  ], [excessively high salaries of professional athletes make  ]it is also unfair for other professionals who make huge impact on the society.

    June 23, 2020 at 9:16 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 75% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 40% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    June 23, 2020 at 9:02 pm

    Score: 53

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.