Score: 75

The line chart gives data on the Chinese and American birth rates [ in China and the United States ]from 1920 to 2000. It is evident that [ Schematically,  ]both nations saw an overall drop in natality, with highs during the 1950s.

Increasing from 10% in 1920 to 15% in 1935, China’s birth rate then plummeted to 5% in the 1940s. This was followed by an exponential climb, hitting a high of 20% in 1950. {However, the rate of babies born in China was in decline from the highest point, reaching a low point of well under 5%.}[ unclear; need to specify time period ]

In/During the same period, the US birth rate stayed in the vicinity of 12% from 1920 to 1940, before dipping sharply to a low of just under 5% in 1945. The next five years saw [ a ]sharp growth to 15% ,[ 15%, ] followed by a consistent fall to the end point[ endpoint ] at 7% in 2000.

In conclusion, it is notable that the natalities in the two countries were quite similar throughout the (whole period)[study period  ] ,yet the gap[of xxx  ] between the two countries widened after 1950.

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. Numerous grammatical errors;
2. The topic sentence for 2nd/3rd paragraphs fails to directly echo the essay question. Rephrase the two topic sentences.
3. About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

An overwhelming number of people need to find somewhere to live in modern society. Some people prefer houses, while others tend to choose apartments. As such[ wrong transitory word  ], citizens had better choose apartments because benefits exceed the demerits[ wrong word  ]. [ Irrelevant/you need to discuss the advantages/disadvantages of living in houses rather than apartments.   ]

There are sound reasons why people prefer houses (especially for the wealthy)[misplaced/confusing   ]. For one thing, (self-construction mode)[ unclear  ] allows [ wrong word/ allow…to  ]people more freedom for their accommodation. That is because they can figure out garden designs and interior (creations)[ wrong word  ] on their own. In this way, people could (fulfill emptiness)[ unclear  ], lift their moods, and enrich cultural life. For another, houses (play a more significant role in promoting)[wordy/use one verb   ] economic progress. To be specific, the whole gamut from furnitures[ word form error  ], plants to paintings are required during the decoration process. That brings a huge influx of income to relevant industries and [ wrong coordination word  ]stirs economic growth.

People should comply with city planning and live in apartments for several reasons. The first is that the security of residents counts. If people can build whatever style as their will does, the quality cannot be ensured.[ grammatical error with subjunctive voice  ] The government, [  Government ]however, can sponsor the project and due diligence to its safety[ unclear  ]. Besides, accomodating people to high buildings can vacate much land in the city . [ spacing error  ]It[ unclear pronoun  ] follows that these precious land resources could extend their limited use and (fortify the nation’s welfare)[ unclear  ]. (Also, workers away from concrete jungles may suffer from inconvenient transportation.)[  unclear ]

In conclusion, it is a plausible way for people to construct houses for residential use. However, we can entrust the state to build apartments due to their safety and efficiency.

Score: ungraded

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Pending (never responded in WeChat)

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. Your essay contains many absolute sentences that under certain circumstances are inconsistent with facts. i.e. ‘ educational programmes has become a daily routine for children at present’ is not applicable to all children. Try to use conditional words if such a problem exists.
2. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
3. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Score: 57.4

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.