Peng_Weikun
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  • Peng_Weikun
    University: Beihang university
    Nationality: China
    March 20, 2021 at 3:52 am

    Below is the description of the task

    The following is a memo from the marketing director of Lamfonz Pet Stores, which operates thirty pet stores worldwide.

    “Five years ago, our competitor Fish Emporium started advertising in Exotic Pets Monthly magazine. Their sales overall have seen a steady increase of 3-to-5 percent per year since then. In fact, the Fish Emporium store in Gulf City saw even more remarkable gains, becoming the most visited pet store in the United States last year. Meanwhile, our two Lamfonz stores in Gulf City have seen sales steadily decline during the same period. It seems clear that we should immediately begin placing our own ads in Exotic Pets Monthly and other popular pet magazines. If we do so, we will be sure to reverse this recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again.”

    Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

    Peng_Weikun
    University: Beihang university
    Nationality: China
    March 14, 2021 at 3:44 am

    Revision:

    What the author believes can somehow explain the result of the study. But there are some alternative explanations that can also lead to the same result.

    For starters, the number of children in our town may be higher than Champsfield. With more children, it is normal that more children in Wistfold need medical attention than the neighboring town. For example, we can assume that Wistfold is a large town with more than ten thousand children. On the contrary,  such population is only one thousand in neighboring town. Even if the rate of children who need medical attention in Wistfold is lower, the absolute number of that kind of children tends to be greater. Thus, the result is going to be what the passage shows. Therefore, this reason can indeed explain the study’s result.

    Second, the construction of sports fields will affect the study as well. Although students had learned to choose healthy lifestyle through the program, dearth of sports fields might be possible. Therefore, they actually could not work out as suggested. Until one day, the government decided to build more basketball courts and football fields. Then children in Champsfield could complete their sports tasks, thus increasing the health rate in Champsfield. In this case, the program did not take much effect compared to the construction of sports field as I proposed. It is the government’s project that brought about the consequence.

    Besides, family education is a point the author did not take into account. Since the restriction can only be applied in school, children can still access unhealthy food  outside the school. In this case, the program cannot prevent this action at all. But family can teach their children not to buy those kinds of food. With this warrant, children will stay away from junk food for they are afraid of scorns from their parents. As a result, the children are living a healthier life in Champsfield.

    In conclusion, the explanation raised by the author may be the true answer to this problem. There are other reasonable explanations that need to considere carefully.