Your Replies

  • Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    September 3, 2019 at 12:10 pm

    Motified Version:

    Living in the countryside or a big city both have its virtues and defects. Compared with adults, children comparatively easier to be affected by environment. Choosing the environment is essential for them. However, there is a debate on growing up in the countryside and a big city which is better for children. In my view, growing up in these two environments has different benefits.

    On one hand, children growing up in the countryside can get closer to nature. For the industry and economy are comparatively not very advanced, the suburb environment is better than in a big city. Furthermore, breathing fresh air and playing in nature frequently are advantageous for children’s both physical and mental health. In addition, the environment of community is purer in the countryside. Children would enjoy harmonious relationships with other people, which is helpful for their mental construction.

    On the other hand, growing up in a big city would broaden children’s horizons. Teachers with higher ability and more abundant education experience are easier to be found in big cities thus children would enjoy higher quality of education. Moreover, growing in big cities paves the way for children to adapt fast-paced modern lives. However, they ought to withstand heavier living pressure at the same time. Additionally, the possibility for children to get poor eyesight might become higher due to overly using electronic devices.

    In conclusion, growing up in the countryside and big cities would bring different but positive influences to children. To me, these benefits play the same critical roles in children’s growth road. In this situation, I do not agree the statement that it is a better choice for children to grow up in the countryside.

    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    August 15, 2019 at 4:04 am

    Modified Version 2:

    Paved with fantastic stories, films usually show us lots of characters of the countries where they were made. Watching films just like we have a trip somewhere personally. During my leisure time, I prefer to watch movies. From my perspective, learning a country by watching the movie where it was made is one of the most effective ways. At the same time, I can have a better understanding of one country.
    We can learn the traditional spirits of one country by the local ’s dialogues and their daily life. Also, the costumes and buildings reflect the local culture. At the same time, we can have a glimpse of the sceneries in the country.

    One of my favorite movies is Spirited Away. It is a Japanese movie which shows amounts of Japanese features. For instance, the architectures in the movie are elegant and delicate. The rhythms of the film are Japanese style which is soft and very relaxing. In addition, happened in a traditional Japanese bathhouse, the story presents the authentic custom of Japan. Because Japanese pay much attention to their cleanness, they go to bathhouses frequently. Therefore, bathhouse plays a critical role in Japanese daily life. All the details predict a vivid picture in Japan.

    What is more, there is a plot very impressive. The leading actress and her parents went into a restaurant. But its host was not there at that time. The leading actress’s parents were very hungry, so they began to eat without paying for the meal. But the little girl, the leading actress, did not follow her parents. In her concept, this behavior was impolite. Then her parents turned into pigs because of the food they ate. This plot shows that Japanese care about politeness very much.

    In my opinion, we have limited time and energy, hence visiting every country is impractical for us. Though sometimes we cannot learn a country precisely, being familiar with one country by a film is a good way.

    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    August 8, 2019 at 12:57 pm

    Modified Version:

    Films usually tell us fantastic stories, and during this process, we can learn the characters of the country. From my perspective, learning a country by watching the movie where it was made is one of the most effective ways. In my spare time, I usually prefer to watch movies. In this way, I can have a better understanding of one country.

    We can learn the spirits of one country by local people’s dialogues and their daily life. The costumes and buildings also reflect the local culture. At the same time, we can have a glimpse of the sceneries in the country.

    One of my favorite movies is Spirited Away. It is a Japanese movie, and shows amounts of Japanese features. For instance, the architectures in the movie are elegant and delicate. All the rhythms in the film are Japanese style which is soft and very relaxing. In addition, the story happened in an imaginary bathhouse presents a part of Japanese custom. Since Japanese pay much attention in their cleanness, they go to bathhouses frequently. Therefore, bathhouse plays a critical role in Japanese daily life. All the details predict a vivid picture in Japan.

    What is more, a plot is very impressive. The leading actress and her parents went into a restaurant that its host was not there at that time. The leading actress’s parents were very hungry, so they began to eat without paying for the meal. But the little girl, the leading actress, did not follow, since she thought this behavior was impolite. Then her parents turned into pigs. This plot shows that Japanese are very care about politeness.

    As far as I am concerned, though we sometimes cannot learn a country precisely, it is one of the best ways to learn about one country by a film. We have limited time and energy, and visiting every country is unpractical.

    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    July 14, 2019 at 12:04 pm

    We have learned that reading books can help us become wiser, and we have been cultivating reading habit since we were young. But some people think that we could not find all the knowledge and not all the problems have answers in the books. From my perspective, reading is an important way to gain knowledge, but gaining knowledge from experience is more important.

    Ancient people paid great attention to the importance of reading. But the times has changed, and modern society is different from the ancient times. Hence the thoughts from ancient people may be not proper nowadays. We can compare ancient times with now. On one hand, in ancient times, writing books was high-cost and full of difficulties. Because of this, the number of books in ancient times is much smaller than now. Books were very precious and people valued them very much. On the other hand, after the selection by time, the books handed down are distinguished enough. In this situation, the quality of these ancient books is high and full of wisdom.

    In modern society, the cost of writing and publishing books is low. That is to say that one can publish a book only if he or she wants to. In this situation, the quality of books is becoming lower and lower, though the number of it is increasing. Which book deserved reading becomes a problem. And maybe there is no answer in books. Different from it, the knowledge we learned from experience is usually reliable. It is much possible that we will meet the similar problems in the future. Admittedly, if we have no spare time reading, we still can learn carefully from living experience.

    To sum up, reading and experience are the sources of gaining knowledge. We should not only be careful in our daily life but also deliberately cultivate reading habit. For knowledge from experience is more useful and reliable, it is more important source.

    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    May 26, 2019 at 2:28 am

    Modified Version 2:

    For modern people pay more attention to the environment, more and more voices appear that we should leave more land in its natural condition. Simultaneously, economic development plays a critical role too, and some people support to develop more land for housing and industry. In my opinion, the need to leave more land in its natural condition is more important.

    For one thing, protecting the environment is imperative nowadays. We can hear the reports about the polluted environment frequently, especially in China, many serious environmental problems are waiting to be solved. The cases remind us that we must get along with nature well. And one of the best ways to prevent it from becoming worse is to avoid influence it, for nature has the ability to heal itself. Moreover, promoting natural condition is a wise decision for further and long-term development. In the long run, we may have more natural resource to use.

    Admittedly, exploiting lands for housing and industry would bring economic merits, but it would also bring defects. We can use many other measures to fit this need. For instance, taking advice from experts can more effectively make use of the lands by rational and environmental-friendly way. In addition, from my perspective, wasting lands or using them unreasonable is the prior reason for lacking lands.

    Just as we usually express, staying with the nature harmoniously is always one of the priorities we should obey. But the virtues in front of us often lead us to the wrong choice. For the reasons above, I stand for land should be left in its natural condition.

    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    May 22, 2019 at 1:43 pm

    Modified Version:

    For modern people pay more attention to the environment, more and more voices appear that we should leave more land in its natural condition. Simultaneously, economic development plays a critical role too, and some people support to develop more land for housing and industry. In my opinion, there are more need to leave more land in its natural condition.

    For one thing, protecting the environment is imperative nowadays. We can hear the reports about the polluted environment frequently, especially in China, many serious environmental problems are waiting to be solved. The cases remind us that we must get along with the nature well. And one of the best ways to prevent it from becoming worse is to avoid influence it, for the nature has the ability to heal itself. Moreover, promoting the natural condition is a wise decision for further and long-term development. In the long run, we may have more natural resource to use.

    Admittedly, exploiting lands for housing and industry would bring economic merits, but it would also bring defects. We can use many other measures to fit this need. For instance, taking advice from experts can more effectively make use of the lands by reasonable and environmental-friendly way. In addition, from my perspective, wasting lands or using them unreasonable is the prior reason for lacking lands.

    Just as we usually express, staying with the nature harmoniously is always one of the priorities we should obey. But the virtues in front of us often lead us to the wrong choice. For the reasons above, I stand for land should be left in its natural condition.

    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    May 17, 2019 at 11:19 am

    Modified Version:

    Study habits vary from person to person, and we are always searching for the most suitable one. It is no wonder that some students prefer to study alone, while others prefer to study with a group of students. To me, studying alone is a better choice.

    From some people’s perspective, studying with a group can gain the chance of learning from others. Students discuss together and during this process, they can gain new ideas and experience. When we are in a group, we can make the best use of our strong points. Also, the learning vibe among the group would stimulate the ambition in our hearts. In addition, this form is as similar as the way that people work in a company, and we would promote our communicating ability by this way. Though there are plenty of advantages, studying alone is the most effective way to gain for me.

    First of all, due to my personality, it is hard for me to restrain the desire for communicating with others. People beside me can be a distraction holding me back from concentration. Because of this, I need a quiet learning condition. Moreover, my major is engineering, which means I need more spirit to understand the obscure knowledge. This process is essential and cannot be replaced by discussing with others. That is to say the advantages of studying with a group can hardly work. Admittedly, sometimes it is a behavior to avoid thinking deeply. For we have the chance to ask the top students in the group, we would stop struggling on our own.

    Both study styles have their advantages separately, and there is no idea which one is better. But studying alone must be a more suitable one to me.

    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    May 8, 2019 at 5:12 am

    Modified Version :

    With the society developing, it is more convenient to prepare food. We can use applications on our smartphones to order takeout, or make fast foods such as instant noodles. And we can reserve the remain in the refrigerators. These largely change our living style, but hidden danger we usually ignored would threaten our health and the environment. In my opinion, the defects are more than the virtues, and the change does not improve our living quality.

    First of all, it is a trend that people especially young people are used to ordering takeout. Though compared with cooking by ourselves, it is much convenient, but it has some bad effect on our physical health. For the ingredients they used would not as good as ours. And takeout food usually has sanitation problem. Besides, taking the remain in fridge [Article Error]as a meal which has more bacteria and less nutrition is not a good idea. Both of them would lead to an unhealthy diet.

    Admittedly, the access we obtain food may cause a series of environmental problems. For the plastics would pollute the soil and the ocean for a long time. The packing bag of snacks drifted into the ocean may be eaten by marine animals and then accumulate in their stomachs. This would threaten their lives and decrease the biodiversity. We have frequently seen the report that many animals died of eating plastic products by mistake and then starving to death.

    To sum up, although it seems like we have more choices in hand, our living quality is hardly improved. The convenience we enjoyed has been sacrificing our physical health and harmonious environment.

    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    April 30, 2019 at 1:20 pm

    Modified Version 2:

    Looking back on our life track, we would find that countless people leave a mark on us. When we are children, we have the closest relationship with our parents. In this situation, parents are the people who give us most guidance in life, and I firmly believe that parents are the best teachers of us.

    There is no doubt that teachers in the school do have a critical impact on us, for they teach us science and professional knowledge. But their guidance usually limited in classes. However, parents are the teachers of our life. For they usually stay with us, so we can learn from them not only by what they said but also by what they did. And in my opinion, it is the most effective and natural way to learn. For instance, the animal such as elephants and lions improve their viability by imitating their parents’ behavior, and the same situation happened when we were very young. Still, a person from a harmony family is more possible to be friendly and good-tempered.

    What’s more, parents are the very few people who treat us honestly in the world. We can trust them without suspecting their intention, but we usually have to think about other’s purpose when he/she raises advice to us. Admittedly, for they have been watching our whole growing track, they must know us better than others. Combined with their rich experience, their suggests would be more practical to accept in many situations.

    Taking all these into consideration, many people may give us some guidance in different situations. Though all of them can be our teachers, our parents must be the best one.

    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    April 29, 2019 at 11:52 am

    Modified Version:

    Looking back on our life track, we would find that there are countless people leave a mark on us. And throughout our life, especially when we are children, we have the closest relationship and communication with our parents. Because of this, I firmly believe that parents are the best teachers to us.

    There is no doubt that teachers in the school do have a critical impact on us, for they teach us science and professional knowledge, but their guidance usually limited in classes. However, parents are the teachers of our life. They usually stay with us, so we can learn from them not only by what they said but also by what they did. And in my opinion, it is the most effective and natural way to learn. For instance, the animals such as elephants and lions improve their viability by imitating their parents’ behavior, and the same situation happened when we were very young. Still, it is common to see that a person from a harmony family is more possible to be friendly and good-tempered than others.

    What’s more, parents are the very few people who treat us fully honestly in the world. We can trust them without suspecting their intention, but we usually have to think about other’s purpose when he/she raises advice to us. Admittedly, for they have been watching our whole growing track, they must know us better than others. Combined with their rich experience, their suggests would be more practical to accept in many situations.

    Taking all these into consideration, many people may give us some guidance in different situations. Though all of them can be our teachers, our parents must be the best one.

    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    April 23, 2019 at 10:57 am

    Modified Version:

    Nowadays, it is a trend that students graduated from high school take attending college into their prior consideration. As a general social phenomenon, it must have some virtues behind it.

    First of all, we are living in a knowledge exploration time which means we should have a mental preparation for learning through our whole life. Under the pressure of society and career in the future, we need to keep on learning latest technology skills and professional knowledge. Especially for some professions such as architects and engineers. In this situation, we need an environment to prepare for the competition in the future, and college or university is an ideal place. For in the college, there are outstanding professors and advanced laboratories available which brings us access to promote our abilities most effectively. In addition, though academic diploma cannot fully represent the ability of a person, it plays a crucial role in his/her career life. An excellent diploma is one of the preconditions to a good job in most of the situation.

    Besides, during college life, we would obtain many friends having the same goal or hobby with us. They would become one of the values in our future growth. We can not only share our experience and feelings but also communicate professional thoughts with them. Admittedly, studying in college or university is a precious experience which would not go through. As we are getting older, we usually have a great many other things which would divert our attention, thus we have less chance to enjoy the pure happiness of learning. In my opinion, as an integrated man, this experience is essential. For instance, it is common that many successful athletes and business people back to school after they have obtained great achievement.

    For these reasons above, it is worthwhile for people to attend college or university. And people valuing college experience becomes a trend is no wonder.

    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    April 18, 2019 at 9:01 am

    Nowadays, some people propose that all college students should take history classes, and I firmly stand behind this statement.

    First of all, for parents place much expectation on our study performance, we are used to ignore studying in other area. Though many of us have learned various of professional knowledge, we desire to explore more in other subject. Learning technology skills can bring us a better career future, but could not let us to be wise and independent. However, history classes would offer us a wider perspective. By learning those story happened in the past, students would have a deeper understanding of current situation. Admittedly, the wisdom of history would shape our value and world outlook.And those above are the essential factors to build a happy life.

    Secondly, as a subject full of wisdom, history is complicated and profound. Even tough I never participated in history classes, I have been attracted by its charm. Thus, it is necessary to learn by a professional and systematic way. And in this situation, college is an ideal platform. Being guided by professors, we can understand history most properly. It is more effective than learning by ourselves. Moreover, the content in history saves us from daily life, it would enrich our mental world and strengthen our spirit. We can obtain peace heart from it in fast-paced society.

    To sum up, history plays an critical role in all the people’s life. And though learning it may heighten college students’ study stress, it is essential for us to take history classes.

    —————–

    Score: 63.3 (Your essay is too short to reflect a genuine score)

    Problems

    • Excessive use of passive-voice sentences;
    • Large number of grammar and conventions issues.
    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    April 17, 2019 at 5:44 am

    Some people propose that all college students should take history classes,and I totally agree with it.

    First of all,many students expect to learn more about the world excluding their professional knowledge,and history plays a critical role in our human society.However,they are short of a platform to obtain these knowledge in system.Thus,it is imperative for colleges to provide their students an access to learn.In addition,there are many children lack of  thoughts of their own.One of the advantages of history is it would have a great impact on one’s value and world outlook which directly affect his/her  whole life.

    Secondly,as a subject full of wisdom,history is complicated and profound.Because of this,it is necessary for students to learn through a professional method.Graduates would lose a great chance to learn history in a proper way.Under an excellent professor leading,undergraduates would obtain much more than learning by themselves.Admittedly,learning history helps us jump out of our daily life,and brings us new perspectives towards world.What’s more,it can peace our heart from fast-paced society.

    To sum up,it is imperative for all college students to take history classes.Though it may heighten their study stress,it is much worthwhile.

     

    ——————-

    To Sherry:

    Your essay scores 18.8. Here are the major problems you need to address prior to submitting your revised essay.

    1. Reduce the number of passive voice sentences to less than 5%;
    2. Keep the number of sentences with 20+ words less than 5%;
    3. Writer a longer essay (300 – 320 words).

    I will re-grade your essay and give you additional advice on improvement once you resolve the issues noted above.

    Best wishes,

    Lin Qiu