For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › TOEFL Writing › For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
-
July 7, 2020 at 3:36 am
For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
In modern society, people who relate well to others can receive more attention. As such, it seems that communicative skills give people an edge when they are seeking a future job. However, it doesn’t mean this ability can overshadow the indispensable role studying hard plays in success. In other words, it is hardworking that lays the foundation for success.
First, few would deny that studying hard makes people more well-informed. Students have access to a broad range of knowledge in school and thus lay a solid foundation. Although no one can guarantee that all knowledge is useful, at least working hard in school equips them with background information. Take my brother for example. He is majoring in the economy and got an internship in a bank last year. Even though he worked hard to have a good grasp of the books at school, he could deal with only a few problems. How could people who don’t study hard handle this internship? Therefore, only with genuine abilities can people have the chance to stand out.
Besides, those who study hard are more likely to overcome other difficulties. Studying is a hard nut to crack and takes countless efforts. But learning how to handle difficulties is like lifting weights: The more we do, the stronger and tougher we become. None of us ever wish for difficulties because of the hassle, disappointment, and even grief they may bring. Fortunately, we can take solace in knowing we have gained enough coping skills that will help us overcome. In this case, studying hard qualifies people for success in a future job.
Granted, the ability to relate well to people makes it easier for people to draw others’ attention. It helps demonstrate a true level of competence. However, without a sound basis, everything is simply a pie in the sky.
In conclusion, hardworking holds the key to opportunities and people’s living out their dreams. This is the philosophy for everyone in the pursuit of success.
Score: 72.7 (Great job!)
In modern society, people who relate well to others can receive more attention. As such, it seems that communicative skills give people an edge when they are seeking a
futurejob. However, it doesn’t mean[ that ] this ability can overshadow the indispensable role studying hard plays in [ relation to professional ]success. In other words, it ishardworking[ hard work ] that lays the foundation for [career ]success.First, few would deny that studying hard makes people more well-informed.
Students[ Diligent students, for instance, seek]haveaccess to a broad range of knowledge in school [, which expands their intellectual boundary. ]and thus lay a solid foundation. Although no one can guarantee that all knowledge is useful, at least working hard in school equips them with background information. Take my brotherfor[ as an ] example. Heis majoring[majors ]inthe economy[ Economics, and he completed ]and gotan internship in a bank last year.Even though[Since ]he [ had ]worked hardto have a good grasp of the booksat school, he could deal withonly a few[many challenging ]problems [at work ]. How could people whodon’t study[ had not studied ]hard handle this internship? Therefore, only with (genuine abilities)[ unclear ] can people have the chance to stand out. [ wordy; restrict this paragraph to 90 words. ]Besides,
those who study[studying ]hardare more likely to overcome other difficulties.[ helps to develop the quality of perseverance, which is critical to one’s career achievement. ] Studying[repetitions ] is [ like cracking ]a hard nutto crack and[, which ]takes countless efforts. But learning how to handle difficulties is like lifting weights: The[, the ]more we do, the stronger and tougher we become. (None of us ever wish for difficulties because of the hassle, disappointment, and even grief they may bring.)[unclear ] Fortunately, we can take solace in knowing we have gained enough (coping skills that will help us overcome)[unclear ]. In this case, studying hard qualifies people for success in a future job.Granted, the ability to relate well to people
makes it easier for people[helps ]to draw others’ attention.It[ This ability also] helps demonstrate (a true level of competence)[ unclear ]. However, without a sound basis, everything is simply a pie in the sky.[ poor logical connection with the last sentence. ]In conclusion,
hardworking[ hard work ] holds the key to opportunities (and people’s living out their dreams)[ unclear ]. This is the philosophy[ unclear in the English language] for everyone inthe[ their ]pursuit of success.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.