For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
I think we can not make an absolute conclusion. All things being equal, both the relating well to people and studying hard are essential. Different groups of people have different demand, and different people would make a preference between two choices.
My point of view is based on my experience. I am majoring in chemistry in my university, and I think studying hard in school is prior to relating to people for me. For one reason, chemistry requires accumulated knowledge and experience in the lab. The more I learned, the more credits I earned. Moreover, my future career is based on my knowledge instead of my relationship. A wide net of relationship makes no sense for me.
However, my situation does not fit in anyone. One of my friends, who is majoring economy and business, has a definitely opposite way compared with me. For him, building a wider relationship to people would make a huge benefit for not only his courses but his future career. For example, some of his courses need to complete by a group. In this term, a wide net of relationship can help find useful messages more efficiently. Moreover, after graduation, it would be easier to enter a big company if you have a relationship to staffs or even CEO, etc, who is familiar to your background.
After all, we can draw a conclusion that which one is more important depends on yourselves. Of course, if you were good at both relating to people and studying hard, your succeed rate would skyrocket. However, we emphasize more about the knowledge nowadays because science is leading humanity to make greater progress. It will be counterproductive if you only focus on the ability to relate well to people. On the other hand, we can not just study in school. Only if you relate well to people will you broaden your horizon, which is equally essential.
Score: ungraded
Issues:
- Sentence clarity, make your thesis clear in your introduction.
- Preposition Errors
- Word Choice errors
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
Honestly, we can not make an absolute conclusion. All things being equal, both relating well to people and studying hard were essential. Different groups of people have different demands, and different people would make a preference between two choices.
My point of view determines my experience. I am majoring in chemistry at my university, and I think studying hard in school is prior to relating to people for me. For one reason, chemistry requires accumulated knowledge and experience in the lab. The more I learned, the more credits I earned. Moreover, my future career is based on my accumulation of chemical basics instead of my relationship. A wide net of relationship makes no sense for me.
However, my situation does not fit anyone. One of my friends is majoring economics and business. He has a definitely opposite way compared with me. For him, building an extensive relationship among people would make a huge benefit for not only his courses but his future career. For example, some of his courses need to complete by a group. In this term, a wide net of relationships can help find useful messages more efficiently. Moreover, after graduation, it would be easier to enter a big company if you have a relationship among staffs or even CEO, etc., who is familiar to your background.
After all, we can conclude that which one is more important depends on yourselves. Of course, if you were good at both relating to people and studying hard, your success rate would skyrocket. However, we emphasize more about the knowledge nowadays because science is leading humanity to make promising progress. It will be counterproductive if you only focus on the ability to relate well to people. On the other hand, we can not just study hard. Only if you relate well to people will you broaden your horizon, which is equally essential.
Score: 64.6
Honestly, we can not make an absolute conclusion. All things being equal, both relating well to people and studying hard were (verb tense error) essential. Different groups of people have different demands, and different people would make a preference between two choices. (last sentence is vague and does not add information, instead make your argument, example: “Studying hard and learning social skills are both necessary steps to success in your future career.”)
My point of view determines my experience.I am majoring in chemistry at my university, and I think studying hard in school ispriormore important thantorelating to people in my casefor me. For onereason, chemistry requires accumulated knowledge and experience in the lab. The more I learned, the more credits I earned. Moreover, my future career is based on my accumulation of chemical basics (word choice – change “chemical basics”) instead of my relationships. A wide net of relationships makes no sense for me.However, my situation does not fit
anyoneeveryone. One of my friends is majoring in economics and business. He needs a much different set of skills than mehas a definitely opposite way compared with me. For him, buildinganextensive relationshipsamongwith people will benefitwould make a huge benefit fornot only his courses but his future career. For example, some of his courses need to need to be completed by a group.In this termTherefore, a wide net of relationships can help find useful messages more efficiently (unclear). Moreover, after graduation, itwouldwill be easier to enter a big company if you havearelationshipsamongwith staffsor even the CEO,etc., who is familiar to your background.After all, we can conclude that which one is more important depends on yourselvesIn conclusion, whether studying hard or building relationships is more important depends on the situation. Of course, if youwereare good at both relating to people and studying hard, your success ratewouldwill skyrocket. However, we emphasizemore about theknowledge more nowadays because science is leading humanity to make promising progress. Itwillwould be counterproductive if you only focused ontheyour ability to relate well to people. On the other hand, we can not just study hard. Only if you relate well to people will you broaden your horizon, which is equally essential.
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