A group will be more helped by a person who is willing to do things what other members want than a person who strongly insists on things in a way that are different from other members want.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing A group will be more helped by a person who is willing to do things what other members want than a person who strongly insists on things in a way that are different from other members want.

  • hazel Gou
    University: shandong province finance of university
    Nationality: chinese
    August 6, 2020 at 1:07 pm

    A group will be more helped by a person who is willing to do things what other members want than a person who strongly insists on things in a way that are different from other members want.

    The question of what kind of working type is beneficial for a group has never failed to be discussed. The answers vary from each individual. Someone supports that a person likes doing things which is suited for other mumber . Conversely, the rest of them agree that a man should differ other members. From my pespectives,i think people have same thoughts in team wolud be better.

    To begin with, working with like-minded member could be more efficient. As a saying goes “Birds of a feather flock together”. We should spend more time with people who share similar idea. In that case,we can show same interests and exchange our own opinon with each others. And that is the key for a group to accomplish the tasks in time. Because all of the participants pursue one goal so that saving a huge time. Take my father as an example. He is a leader of a panel which is the most productive in his company. Whatever how difficult in project,they make the plan that everyone supports it. So they can submit in advanced.

    What is more, we can avoid argument when we cooperate. The reason is if we find other people are willing to accept what we say, that is significantly comfortable. Despite that if one strongly hold his own idea which may cause a cooling atmosphere.Eventually,it would hurt the  friendship. Once i had taken part in a class discussed group and we had to do a plan with a presentation together. Unfortunely,there was a girl always persist her thought and refused to involve us.  Finally,we got fire and finished in an unhappy ending.

    Looking at all of above thing, i still believe that doing team work on one purpose is important for the final success. Because we can end up the task effectively as well as get along well with our partener.

    August 11, 2020 at 3:06 am

     

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Lots of pronouns (i.e. they) are unclear. Replace unclear pronouns with nouns. [If there are two plural nouns in one sentence, then THEY is inappropriate because it could echo either of them.]
    2. Shift of Person.
    3. Lots of grammatical errors.
    4. Use your own words to write. (i.e. the first sentence)

     

    1. I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
    hazel Gou
    University: shandong province finance of university
    Nationality: chinese
    August 12, 2020 at 12:56 pm

    Thanks teacher

    The question of what kind of working type is beneficial for a group has never failed to discuss. The answers vary from each individual. Someone supports that a person likes doing things which is suited for other members. Conversely, the rest of them agree that a man should differ from others. From my perspective, I think a group that participants share a common thought would be better

    To begin with, working with like-minded members could be more efficient. As an old saying goes “Birds of a feather flock together.” We should spend more time with people who share the similar idea with us. In that case, we can show the common interests and exchange our opinion with them. And that is the key for a group to accomplish the tasks in time. Because all of the participants pursue one goal so that saving a numerous time. Taking my father as an example. He is a leader of a panel and it is the most productive team in his company. Whatever how difficult in the project, they make the plan that everyone supports it. So they can submit in advance.

    What is more, we can avoid an argument when we cooperate. If we find other people are willing to accept what we say, that is significantly comfortable. However, if one holds a distinct idea that may causes a cooling atmosphere. Eventually, it would hurt the friendship. Once I had taken part in a class discussed group. We are requested to prepare a presentation tegether. But there was a girl persisting on her thought and refused to involve us. And we got fire and finished in an unhappy ending.

    Looking at all, doing team work on one purpose is important for the final success. Because we can end up the task effectively as well as get along well with our partner.

    August 12, 2020 at 10:20 pm

    The question of what kind of working type is beneficial for a group has never failed to discuss[Unclear/rewrite use your own words  ]. The answers vary from each individual. Someone (supports that a person)[ unclear ] likes doing things (which is [grammatical error  ]suited)[ wordy ] for other members. Conversely, the rest of them[ unclear pronoun ] agree (that a man should differ from others)[how does it relate to group work?  ]. (From my perspective, I think)[ redundant ] (a group that participants share a common thought would be better)[Unclear/irrelevant to the prompt  ]

    To begin with, working with like-minded members could be more efficient. As an old saying goes “Birds of a feather flock together.” We should spend more time with people who share the similar idea with us. In that case, we can show the common interests and exchange our opinion with them. And that is the key for a group to accomplish the tasks in time. Because all of the participants pursue one goal so that saving a numerous time. Taking my father as an example. He is a leader of a panel and it is the most productive team in his company. Whatever how difficult in the project, they make the plan that everyone supports it. So they can submit in advance.

    What is more, we can avoid an argument when we cooperate. If we find other people are willing to accept what we say, that is significantly comfortable. However, if one holds a distinct idea that may causes a cooling atmosphere. Eventually, it would hurt the friendship. Once I had taken part in a class discussed group. We are requested to prepare a presentation tegether. But there was a girl persisting on her thought and refused to involve us. And we got fire and finished in an unhappy ending.

    Looking at all, doing team work on one purpose is important for the final success. Because we can end up the task effectively as well as get along well with our partner.

    August 12, 2020 at 10:27 pm

    Partial revision (essay contains many problems)

    hazel Gou
    University: shandong province finance of university
    Nationality: chinese
    August 16, 2020 at 9:33 am

    Thank you teacher

    When people organize a group, there often fueled the controversy about how to choose members. Someone prefers to pick a person whose thought is unlike them. However, I think it is necessary to find a partner who shares the same goal with most. This essay will briefly review the reasons and details.

    To begin with, sharing the common purpose in one team could provide efficiency for the task. As an old saying goes, “Birds of the same feather flock together.” When components co-work with one goal, they can do their part orderly and then compound each unit. Thereby, the mix could promote productivity and accomplish the task in advance. Take my father as an example, he is a leader of a panel in his company and they always have competitions with other panels. Because the members in his team have a strong conscious of pursuing the common target. So they rarely waste time on plans or decisions and award the most of the games in the firm.

    What is more, working on one goal is helpful to build a peaceful relationship. If people were willing to keep pace with the team’s process, they would agree with all of the things and the different voices would avoid. That leads to a harmonious atmosphere among the working procedure and individuals can get along well with each other. However, if a person had a distinct goal and insisted on it, that would cause a quarrel and result in an unhappy ending. I remembered when I participated in a group for class presentation, most of us wanted to elect a topic about global warming. However, Mary, a part of the team, hoped to discuss the global economy and held the persistence solidly. Unfortunately, we failed to persuade her and started a fight. Therefore She quit and broke down our relationship.

    The conclusion above that people has the common goal benefits the team. That can improve the efficiency in the task as well as build a harmonious relationship.

    August 18, 2020 at 10:47 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Lots of errors;
    2. Most sentences don’t make sense.
    August 18, 2020 at 10:49 pm

    When people organize a group, there often fueled the controversy[ grammatical error ] about how to choose members. Someone prefers to pick a person whose thought is unlike them[wrong pronoun  ]. However, I think it is necessary to find a partner who shares the same goal with most. This essay will briefly review the reasons and details.[Use your own words to write and specify  ]

    To begin with, sharing the common purpose in one team could (provide efficiency for the task)[ logical confusion ]. As an old saying goes, “Birds[ upper case error ] of the same feather flock together.” When components co-work with one goal[ unclear ], they [ unclear ]can do their part orderly and then (compound each unit)[ unclear ]. Thereby, the mix[unclear  ] could promote [  wrong word]productivity and accomplish the task in advance. Take my father as an example,[punctuation error  ] he is a leader of a panel[wrong word  ] in his company and they always have competitions[word form error  ] with other panels. Because the members in his team have a strong conscious [word form error  ]of pursuing the common target. [ punctuation error ]So they rarely waste time on plans or decisions (and award the most of the games in the firm)[unclear  ].

    What is more, working on one goal is helpful to build a peaceful relationship. If people were willing to keep pace with the team’s process, they would agree with all of the things and the different voices would avoid. That[ unclear pronoun ] leads to a harmonious atmosphere among[ wrong preposition ] the working procedure and individuals can get along well with each other. However, if a person had a distinct goal and insisted on it, that[ unclear pronoun ] would cause a quarrel and result in an unhappy ending. I remembered when I participated in a group for class presentation, most of us wanted to elect a [article error  ]topic about global warming. However, Mary, a part[ wrong word ] of the team, hoped to discuss the global economy and (held the persistence solidly)[unclear  ]. Unfortunately, we failed to persuade her and started a fight. Therefore She quit and broke down our relationship.

    The conclusion above that people has the common goal benefits the team[ grammatical error ]. That can improve the efficiency in the task as well as build a harmonious relationship.