A longer prison term as a way of punishing those who break the law is not as good as other methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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May 7, 2020 at 2:54 am
A longer prison term as a way of punishing those who break the law is not as good as other methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sentence is regarded as a way of punishing people who commit serve crime, sometimes it may be seen as a mean of rehabilitation. This method may has some advantages, but we still need to consider other ways to reform criminals.
People who support heavy punishments suppose that it would have a deterrent effect on either potential criminals or habitual criminals. Imprisonment means the loss of freedom, which couldn’t be accepted by a wise person. It would also has bad impact on criminals’ lives including career. They may not commit crimes, since they are afraid of being set into jail.
Although a long prison term may have its own benefits, we still can use community service instead of it. Community works are able to change offenders, especially those committed minor crimes, into lawful citizens. And if those people are put into prison, then they may reoffend after their prison term are over, which can pose a threat to other members of society.
We can also improve criminals’ personal skills and working abilities by offering vocational training and education. For example, many juveniles or first-time offenders who broke the law because of the lack of social experience and low socio-economic status. Once they find jobs or understand their responsibilities in law, they may not commit faults. The prison takes law breakers apart from the whole society, which would prevent criminals from acquiring working skills and reintegrating into society.
To sum up, I believe that harsh penalty may deter crimes, but it would not be the best choice, We can build a happy and stable world by some other rehabilitating programs.
May 7, 2020 at 4:04 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
- Many sentences contain logical issues. i.e. “Sentence is regarded as a way of punishing people who commit serve crime, sometimes it may be seen as a mean of rehabilitation.” Those who commit minor crimes may also serve a prison sentence.
- Many pronouns (it, that, this, they., etc)are wrongly used. If there are 2 plural nouns, you should not use THEY or THEIR since these pronouns can echo either of them. In such cases, replace pronouns with nouns.
- Don’t shift person unless needed. When you shift a person, i.e. change from the 3rd person to WE, you should think whether sentence coherence suffers.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
May 8, 2020 at 3:18 amImposing Sentence is widely accepted as a way of punishing people who commit serious offences and sometimes as a correctional method. This approach may be effective, but we still need to consider other ways to reform criminals.
The prison sentence may have a deterrent effect on either prospective offenders or habitual offenders. A long prison sentence means that those who violate laws will lose freedom for a prolonged period of time, a consequence that no rational person is willing to take. The criminal record can have a lasting impact on their lives, including their career. They may not commit crimes when they realized the problems that ensue; instead, they will find work or run a small business to earn a living. This can help create a peaceful and safe community.
While I agree that a long prison term may sometimes help us fight crime, we can consider community service as an alternative. This punishment can make some offenders, especially those who committed minor crimes, law-abiding citizens. They can learn how to act as meaningful members of the community by cleaning streets, removing graffiti and tending gardens, and realise that they can contribute to society. If they are sentenced to prison, they will possibly make friends with other offenders. They will not repent or take stock of their lives, so they may re-offend after being released, which can pose a threat to other members of society.
We can also provide educational opportunities and vocational training for them, improving their interpersonal skills and job skills. It’s worth noting that many juvenile offenders or first-time offenders broke the law because of a lack of social experience or low socio-economic status. Crime is no longer an option, if they can find work and understand legal responsibilities. The prison can isolate criminals from society, shattering their confidence in finding work，and reintegrating into society.
Overall, I agree that the harsh penalty can deter crime, but it is not the best approach. The focus should be on changing the behaviour of offenders and helping them function as productive members of society.
May 8, 2020 at 3:23 amI just correct my essay under my friend’s guidance.
May 8, 2020 at 10:06 pmScore: 57
Issues:
- About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them. In fact, many sentences can be shortened. I.E. “Sentence is regarded as a way of punishing people who commit serve crime, sometimes it may be seen as a mean of rehabilitation. ” – Criminal sentencing can serve both punitive and correctional purposes for offenders. This version not only shortened the sentence but changed passive voice into active voice.
- About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
- Many words were wrongly used. I.E. REFORM criminals.
- Many sentences lack transitory words.
- Lots of pronouns (i.e. it; they) failed to echo a noun clearly.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
