Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A teacher’s ability to relate well with students is more important than excellent knowledge of the subject being taught.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A teacher’s ability to relate well with students is more important than excellent knowledge of the subject being taught.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • namhoang
    University: Budapest Business School
    Nationality: Vietnamese
    July 31, 2019 at 1:36 pm

    TOEFL Writing Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A teacher’s ability to relate well with students is more important than excellent knowledge of the subject being taught.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    For all of my school years, teachers who I can still remember are those who have moved me emotionally in some sense. Although I might not remember what they exactly did for me, I can never forget how they made me feel and the life-lessons they taught me, which is why I strongly believe in teachers’ ability to resonate with their students.

    One reason for which I strongly believe in this idea – teachers should be able to relate to students – is human being learns the best when strong feelings are involved. The higher the emotion, the higher the retention. For example, when I was in high school, I resented the idea of studying chemistry because the teacher would only drone on about whatever was in the textbook for hours without taking into account how his students were feeling. But literature was my favorite. My literature teacher used to start our class by asking, “How are you doing today?” and then gave us some time to vent out our worries. After feeling heard, we gave our full attention to all the things she said later on in the class. I did feel validated, and because of that, I was compelled to do well in her class and ended up remembering all core information with ease.

    The next reason is not obvious to many teachers and educators: Some students do not go to schools to be taught knowledge, but to feel safe first, and then to learn. I remember when I went to Kindergarten in the UK for the first day, I was in despair as I was shy and my newly-made friends ridiculed me because I looked different and did not speak their native tongue. However, a teacher approached me at lunch time to ask if she could be of any help. I did not know what to say back to her, and still, she took me in her arms, wrapped around my shoulders, patted my on the head until I became less tense. What she did then, in retrospect, helped me start to open up with other teachers and gain courage to play with my school-mates. That lesson, without being articulated, has been with me my whole life: a small kind act can change one’s life.

    All in all, a teacher’s ability to understand and sympathize with her students may not seem profitable at the time but as time goes on, that quality can make students feel comfortable enough to start taking their education seriously and retain more knowledge.

    August 6, 2019 at 3:26 am

    Score: ungraded

    Suggestions for Improvement

    • Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
    • Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words;
    • Shorten your essay to -320 words; [TOEFL essay is graded based on the total number of errors rather than the percentage of errors. Therefore, it would be foolish to write an essay longer than 320 words. 280 – 320 words is the optimal length.]
    • Restrict each paragraph to 85 words.

    Writing Tips

    1. Absolute Statement: Avoid using absolute statement.
    2. ARTICLE ERROR: errors concerning a, an, the. This is a prominent issue for Chinese students. Make sure to add/remove/change articles considering a specific context.
    3. BE VERBS: BE verbs are dull and vague. Use concrete verbs to replace BE verbs whenever needed. I.E. commercials are beneficial to children. – Commercials benefit children.
    4. COHERENCE: To improve the natural flow from one sentence to the other, make the subject of a sentence echo the subject, or the object, of the last sentence.
    5. COORDINATING CONJUNCTION error: In formal writing, a comma is needed when the 7 coordinating words (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so – FANBOYS) are connecting sentences/clauses.
    6. Effectiveness: use verbs instead of BE+adjectives to improve effectiveness.
    7. Grammatical Errors: grammatical mistakes.
    8. It + Be + Verb:  Wordy.
    9. Logical confusion. Although a sentence is grammatically correct, often it is logically/factually confusing. Having written a sentence, ask yourself if the sentence is logically complete, and/or factually true.
    10. NOT problem. Experienced writers often avoid using NOT in English writing. I.e. Jack was very upset because he had not passed the GRE test. – I.e. Jack was very upset because he had failed the GRE test.
    11. PASSIVE VOICE: In many cases, clarity suffers when using passive voice. In particular linguistic contexts, using passive voice is fine.
    12. Semicolon: Use a semicolon in front of an adverb/adverbial phrase.
    13. Subjunctive: Memorize the grammatical rules for subjunctive mood.
    14. There Be Sentence: Wordy
    15. Unclear Pronouns: A pronoun (it, this, that, they, them., etc) unclearly refers to the prior content. For example, the first sentence contains two singular nouns, so IT in the second sentence can refer either of them.
    16. Unparalleled Structure:  use paralleled structures, including tense.
    17. VERBOSE: The sentence/phrase can be simplified.
    18. WEAK VERBS: an alternative verb may help improve sentence effectiveness and clarity. The Internet makes us know many things. – The Internet helps us (to) know many things.