As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. The issue states that the thinking ability of humans will certainly deteriorate, as people rely more on technology for solving problems.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. The issue states that the thinking ability of humans will certainly deteriorate, as people rely more on technology for solving problems.

  • cherry112233
    University: Dalian University of Foreign Language
    Nationality: China
    June 6, 2021 at 3:57 am

    As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. The issue states that the thinking ability of humans will certainly deteriorate, as people rely more on technology for solving problems.

    The statement argues technology plays a negative influence on people’s thinking ability. We have witnessed that Technology has penetrated into our all walks of our lives, thus rendering us lazy rather than bereft of free thinking. It is self-evident that Technology has revolutionized our world, it does not only allow for people to devote themselves into more meaningful work, but also provides people with effective instruments for their work even worldwide cooperation.

    It is true that people today more and more count on Technology given its convenience and availability. With the advent of computers, people may shop online purchasing merchandises they want instead of going to physical stores, which saves them a lot of energy and time. It is obvious that it may induce people to lazy. But it allows for convenience. Besides, people are always longing for some entertainment activities to getting rid of arduous work, which defines their life quality and increases their happiness. People can binge on Netflix with their family, which relieves them from work as well as units the family. By virtue of airplanes, people can travel around to expose themselves to a new culture and explore more exciting stuff worldwide. Doing volunteering service prompts society to develop humanity, all of which can help people to become thought-provoking rather than making them become less thinking.

    Furthermore, Technology makes great contributions to making people achieve their goals and meaningful work. Students are able to attend zoom school and interact with their professors. People can search tons of valuable materials online by simple typing some key words and clicking the mouse. Multinational corporations can collaborate together to maximize their profits and generate novice stuff helping make people’s life better. For example, we all so grateful for the emergence of Tik Tok- a video social networking service -which belong to a Chinese company Bytedance. For expanding their market, they walked into international market by seeking cooperation with international investors and making some adaptions to cater for international customers, as a result, it has become a fad worldwide, which has changed people’s lifestyle and brought huge happiness for people.

    The most important thing is that Technology gives rise to revolutionary ideas and social development. The whole world needs to collaborate to tackle mysterious problems. As all know, the Covid-19 has caused tons of deaths and affects people’s health conditions. For addressing this problem, The whole world worked together to generate Vaccines and make efforts to arrest the spread of Covid. For example, people always wear masks and keep social distance in public. The situation has become much better due to efforts made. The covid -19 invokes people to deeply think about how to eschew this type of thing happen again and reflect on themselves about protecting our environment and the only home, the earth.

     

    June 6, 2021 at 2:53 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. Lots of grammatical errors;
    3. Coherence is a big issue. Many subjects fail to echo the subjects/objects of the prior sentence.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    June 6, 2021 at 2:54 pm

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