At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

As people[absolute statement – some people don’t care about it   ] increasingly[redundant ] consider education an essential part of life, education budgets are supposed to be devoted [ use of passive sentence that weakens coherence (the subject of the second clause fails to echo the subject/object of the first clause) ]to raising a storm of discussion[ unclear  ]. [lack of coherence from the prior sentence   ]Some people hold that university should invest money in (class and library construction)[  unclear – can you draw a picture of ‘class construction’? Good writing allows readers to grasp a clear/vivid picture ]. Conversely, others believe that an equal amount [ preposition error  ]funds should be put into sports and social events. (From my perspective)[redundant   ], I firmly[redundent – what is the difference between ‘firmly agree’ and ‘agree’? They mean the same   ] agree with the later[ spelling error  ] statement for[unclear preposition – a word with multiple meanings can be interpreted in multiple ways (i.e., statement for …benefits)  ] the enormous benefits brought about by [ passive  ]sports and social events.

First of all, playing sports makes a person healthy and energetic to face future obstacles. As is known to us all, more students wear glasses and stay in front of the computer screens for a long time. As a result, they probably suffer from eye problems and other physical diseases. The best method to solve the issue is to encourage them to participate more sports activities.

Furthermore, playing a ball game such as soccer and basketball with others could benefits students in promoting teamwork spirits. Playing team sports with others will cultivate a way to solve problems in collaboration and achieve their common goal. Besides, social activities can help foster capabilities that students cannot gain during classes. Though smart and diligent, some students are regarded as pedants because they cannot freely exchange ideas with others. A person equipped with the knowledge and doing well in expressing it can become competent in his/her future career path.

Admittedly, the places provided for sports and social activities require money. It is common that the school tends to spend a lot to purchase updated books and teaching facilities. However, finding a suitable place to play sports or hold social activities is always hard. Taking my school as an example, if I want to read a book, I can easily find a library seat. But if I want to exercise for half a while, the crowded gym will let me down. Then, the demand for the same amount of financial support to ameliorate the condition is reasonable.

In a nutshell, equal financial support should be contributed to sports and social activities. They help with strengthening bodies, making progress in communication skills, and are in the shortage of funds.