Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • Peter zyy
    University: University of Reading
    Nationality: Chinese
    June 16, 2020 at 9:20 am

    Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    It is well-known that watching educational programmes has become a daily routine for children at present, and they can benefit from knowledge grasped from the screen. However, I would argue that TV learning isn’t a wonderful idea.

    The first problem is that children may get easily distracted from watching television. If parents are not at home, children will be more easily fascinated by some cartoons or other programs unsuitable for their age. This may bring about consequences such as fall in academic performance as well as carelessness in doing things, which is a great barrier for their study. Also, they will perform poorly in interactive activities such as reading.

    Another problem might be the loss in communicating abilities down the road. Human beings are social animals. Apparently, there is no exception for children. When they grow up in the future, they have to talk and discuss with friends, colleagues, and people from all walks of life because of matters they confront. Without communication skills, children will have difficulty in contacting people. As a result, their life will be tough and troublesome owing to poor contact with others.

    On the other hand, there is no denying that some educational programme has enabled children to the world of knowledge. One of examples being quiz programmes, children can not only gain knowledge from the show, but also improve their speed of thinking about something, for time is usually limited. What’s more, the participation of parents are more likely to give children a helping hand to learn things more efficiently, for parents has set a good example to their children.

    All in all, I might not encourage children’s TV viewing though exposure to knowledge is beneficial for children.

    June 16, 2020 at 10:34 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Your essay contains many absolute sentences that under certain circumstances are inconsistent with facts. i.e. ‘ educational programmes has become a daily routine for children at present’ is not applicable to all children. Try to use conditional words if such a problem exists.
    2. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    3. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.