If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, will you use e-mail/text messaging, or use telephone/voice messaging?

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  • Conditional
    zhuyicen97
    University: National Century University
    Nationality: China
    May 28, 2020 at 1:06 pm

    If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, will you use e-mail/text messaging, or use telephone/voice messaging?

    I contend that writing e-mails to discuss upsetting or controversial problems will have a more favorable influence to ourselves.

    First of all, when you write an e-mail, you will have a chance to consider cautiously about your expressions in your passage. This will help you to revise some basically logical fallacies or commonsense mistakes which may appear more frequently when you argue through a telephone call in a hurry. Thus your statement should become much more rigorous during this period, with less flaws to be attacked.

    Moreover, if you have any confusion or uncertainty about your points, you will have enough time to seek for and check the statistics and materials. Everyone has the possibility to commit an error in the memory of details, so that it is essential to ensure you have not enumerated contradictory examples. Furthermore, if time permitting, you can search more books and papers for information supporting your argument, which can improve your system of elaboration.

    Last but not least, I admit that discussion using telephone or voice message might be convenient or beneficial to our social skills. However, in my view, the dominant purpose of the discussions of controversial problems is to stimulate our brains’ vitality, polish our capacity of thinking and expand our recognition of the society or the world, not the talking skills. The e-mails have been enough to reach the goal. While with telephone debates, people cannot control their emotions very well to narrate their opinions with calm and concentration in some conditions, therefore the communication easily get to a very different direction against the original topic, even become a meaningless quarrel, which has nothing helpful to our brain exercise. In terms of these dimensions, the telephone talking exert a detrimental influence on the logical training compared with the text massaging.

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    May 29, 2020 at 2:54 am

    Score: 46.1

    Issues:

    1. About 75% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Lengthy paragraph. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Conditional
    zhuyicen97
    University: National Century University
    Nationality: China
    May 29, 2020 at 11:16 am

    I contend that it will be more favorable to ourselves by writing to discuss controversial problems.

    First of all, when writing e-mails, you will have a chance to consider about your expressions with caution. An inspection throughout your passage will help you to discover and revise some logical fallacies or commonsense mistakes. Whereas these errors may appear with higher frequency during a telephone call in a hurry. Furthermore, you will have enough time to search books and papers for information if there are any uncertainties. Nobody can remember all the details. It is necessary to check the statistics and examples using for your viewpoint. Thus your statement could become much more rigorous in the process, with fewer flaws to attack.

    Another advantage of text messaging is that it remains accurate records of your contention and evidence. The text records can remind us of what we are pondering over if interrupted by trivialities. Following the prompts, it will be simpler to continue as soon as possible. In spite that voice messages also record your words, it is impossible to be exact as the texts. Speaking is more likely to cause a misunderstanding as the homonym and fuzzy voice through the microphone. Writing can convey a clearer meaning both to yourself and your partner.

    Last but not least, it should be admitted that a telephone argument might be beneficial to our social skills. However, I assume that the dominant purpose of discussing controversial problems is not the talking tricks. It is more intended to stimulate our brains’ vitality and polish our capacity of thinking. E-mails have been more suitable to reach the goal. In telephone debates, it is hard to calm down and consider about others’ statement as insisting our own position. Therefore, the communications are easier to get into a meaningless quarrel, having nothing helpful to our brain exercise.

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    May 29, 2020 at 4:04 pm

    Score: 60.6

    Final Revision

    Stay consistent with person; don’t shift between we/our and you/yours. 

    I contend that it [unclear pronoun  ] will be more favorable to ourselves by writing to discuss controversial problems. [unclear sentence/statement introduced without context  ]

    First of all, when writing e-mails, you [shift of person  ]will have a chance to consider about your expressions with caution. An inspection throughout your passage will help you to discover and revise some logical fallacies or commonsense mistakes. Whereas these errors may appear with higher frequency during a rush telephone call in a hurry.

    Furthermore, you will have enough time to search [preposition error  ]books and papers for information if there are any uncertainties. Nobody can remember all the details[ unclear/lack context ]. [ lack transitory word ]It[unclear pronoun  ] is necessary to check the statistics and examples using[  word form error] for your viewpoint. Thus your statement could become much more rigorous in the process, with fewer flaws to attack/refute.

    Another advantage of text messaging is that it Additionally, text messaging can keep remains accurate records of your contention [ unclear word ] and evidence, thereby . The text records can reminding us of what we are/were pondering over if interrupted by trivialities. Following the prompts, (it will be simpler to continue as soon as possible.)[ unclear ] In Despite that Although voice messages also records your words, it is impossible to be exact as the texts. Sspeaking is more likely to cause a misunderstanding as due to the homonym and fuzzy voice transmitted through the microphone. Writing, on the contrary,  can convey a clearer meaning a message both to yourself and your partner in a clearer manner.

    Last but not least, it should be admitted that Admittedly, a telephone argument conversation (might be beneficial to our social skills.)[irrelevant  ] However, I assume believe that the dominant purpose of discussing controversial problems is not the talking tricks. It is more intended to stimulate our brains’ vitality and polish our capacity of thinking to enhance our reasoning. As such, writing emails E-mails have been remains more suitable to reach/attain the goal. In During a telephone debates, it is hard to calm down and consider about others’ (statement as insisting our own position.)[unclear  ] Therefore, the this kind of communications are easier is bound to get into a meaningless quarrel/squabble, having nothing helpful to our brain exercise.