Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

  • nly
    University: Nankai University
    Nationality: China
    February 18, 2020 at 12:51 pm

    Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    Individuals have been for years arguing how to judge a country’s progress – by economic growth or by other elements. Personally speaking, while it is true that boosting the economy is of great importance, I firmly believe that we cannot ignore the progress in other aspects.

    Economic advance does play an important part in increasing national strength. Firstly, economy is the foundation for the development of other industries. Prosperous economy allows governments to collect more taxes from citizens. By increasing tax revenues, the authorities can put policies into practice. For example, if the administration tends to improve the level of medical infrastructure, it must have enough money to purchase related equipment. Economic progress plays a supporting role, without which it is difficult to make changes. Secondly, economic growth means that the job market will provide more employment opportunities and higher salaries. Particularly in the technology industry, handsome income attracts more talents to apply themselves to innovating.

    However, some may argue that regarding economic growth as the most important goal seems somewhat short-sighted. Some other fields should also be taken into consideration. Take education for example. Constant progress of a country relies on well-educated citizens. Popularizing compulsory education can improve the quality of citizens. The progress of education encourages people to think independently and lay more emphasis on culture. This obviously has a positive effect on the protection of traditional culture.

    In my view, the progress of a country is not confined to its economic growth. I am convinced that people of today yearn for living and working in a country where they can receive proper education. Developing economy may bring short-term prosperity, but a country needs long-term development in all aspects.

    February 18, 2020 at 7:54 pm

    Score: 42.2

    Issues:

    1. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.