Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking Web sites. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking Web sites. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • pan123
    University: Nanjing University
    Nationality: China
    October 13, 2020 at 12:06 pm

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking Web sites. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Present parents seem to spend more efforts on educating kids than the past. Parents make a consensus that raising kids is a far more difficult task. What follows is that cell phones and online games are blamed to the main burden of difficulty. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement.

    To begin with, standards of educating a kid rise up nowadays, giving rise to so-called difficulty. In consideration of children’s happiness and health, there is no difference between past and present. All parents need to do are educating children orally and physically, such as persuading them not to be upset after failure of exams or warning them not to play with fire. However, in this society filled with competition, parents have a strong will to educate their kids to be more talented and competitive. Looking forward to the future success gained by kids, parents cost much to send them to different after-school classes and prevent them wasting time on cell phones. What is interesting that cell phones and social networks become innocent criminal of education problems, while the real cause is the pressure parents put on themselves.

    Moreover, to some extent, cell phones and social network reduce parents’ difficulty of educating. In the past, it was quite hard for parents to give kids moral education. Parents always failed to urge their kids to read books, which deliver a lot about valuation and ethic criterion. The only way, in which kids learned to understand what is right and wrong, is experiencing the society. They might be cheated by some bad people and be bullied by elder kids at school. After that, they came to understand justice and evil. Contrary to that, at present, children have the opportunities to receive different education from networks. Reading news about the danger of taking elevators, Children is more likely to keep quiet and still in elevators, even without parents’ warning.  The power of networks, where governments and authorities spread information directly to kids, relieves parents’ burden of education.

    October 13, 2020 at 3:40 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Preposition errors

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    October 13, 2020 at 3:50 pm

    Please add my WeChat and remind me of sending you screenshot reviews. Thanks!

    pan123
    University: Nanjing University
    Nationality: China
    October 28, 2020 at 4:45 am

    Present parents seem to spend more effort on educating kids than used to be. Parents make a consensus that raising kids is a far more difficult task. What follows is that cell phones and online games become the main burden of difficulty. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement.

    To begin with, standards of educating a kid rise up nowadays, giving rise to so-called difficulty. In consideration of children’s happiness and health, there is no difference between past and present. All parents need to do are educating children orally and physically, such as persuading them not to be upset after failing to get high grades in exams or warning them not to play with fire. However, in this society filled with competition, parents have a strong will to educate their kids to be more talented and competitive.

    Moreover, looking forward to kids’ future success, parents cost much to send them to different after-school classes and prevent them from wasting time on cell phones. It becomes a rather common phenomenon that cell phones and social networks, which provide great convenience for kids to solve academic problems, become innocent criminal of education problems, while the real cause is the pressure parents put on themselves.

    Finally, to some extent, cell phones and social networks reduce parents’ difficulty of educating. In the past, it was quite hard for parents to give kids moral education. Parents always failed to urge their kids to read books, which deliver a lot about valuation and ethic criterion. The only way, in which kids learned to understand what is right , is experiencing society. They might be cheated by some bad people and bullied by elder kids at school. After that, they came to understand justice and evil.

    By contrast, at present, children have the opportunity to receive various education from networks. Reading news about the danger of taking elevators, Children is more likely to keep quiet and still in elevators, even without parents’ warning. Communicating with friends on social networks, Children surprisingly discover that classmates have been bullied by certain elder kid, avoiding them of bullying younger kids in the future. The power of networks, where governments and authorities spread information directly to kids, relieves parents’ education burden.

    All in all, It is true that education kids is a more difficulty task. However, cell phones and social network have few negative effects on education.