Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking website. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking website. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • Vivian-Lou
    University: HuaZhong University Of Science And Technology
    Nationality: China
    June 7, 2020 at 9:51 am

    Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking website. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Education is a big deal no matter in the past or at present. Every parents put much emphasis on it. And people begin to wonder whether it becomes increasingly difficult for adults to educate the young generation considering the widespread cell phone, online games and social Web site.

    It is hard to deny the fact that the digital divices easily distract adolescents. They dedicate most of their time playing the video phone, chating with their friends on the phone, posting their routines on the Internet and so on. However, that’s only a small part. The majority of students would concentrate on their acadamic, especially chinese students. In my country, there is a college entrance exam, which represents a dividing line between prominent scholars and ordinally people. Given the large population in china, it is no wonder there is a fierce competition among the young adults who want decent occupations. However, the good qualification is the building block of a high-ranking job. So, in order to get a well-paid working position in the future which asks for a good education, most students will be so concentrate on their study that they are not to be distracted by the digital divices.

    In addition, cell phone and social networking Web site give children myrid access to a good variety of information. Those materials online or in the phone broaden children’s knowledge and thus are great contributors to children’s acadamic scores. For instantce, when I was in high school, I often productively uses the seearching engine to search for my problems like the grammer issues in literature, statistic obstacles in math and so on. Due to those answers posted online, my problems are solved and my grades improved a good deal.

    To summary, there is no such thing that the cell phone, online games and social networking Web sites make educating children a painstaking work, instead, they free children from the conventional classrooms and prepare they for their future success.

    June 8, 2020 at 7:13 pm

    Score: 59.4

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    June 9, 2020 at 9:46 pm

    Education is a big deal, no matter in the past or at present. Every parent put much emphasis on it. And people begin to wonder whether it becomes more and more difficult for adults to educate the young generation, especially in the case of widespread cell phone, online games and social Web site.

    It is hard to deny the fact that the digital devices easily distract adolescents. They dedicate most of their time playing the video phone, chatting with their friends on the phone, posting their routines on the Internet, and so on. However, that’s only a small part. The majority of students would concentrate on their academics, especially Chinese students. In my country, there is a crucial test called college entrance exam. It represents the dividing line between prominent scholars and common people. Given the large population in china, it is no wonder there is a fierce competition among the young adults who want decent occupations. However, the good qualification is the building block of a high-ranking job. As a matter of fact, getting a well-paid working position in the future is most people’s dream. And that position asks for a good education. So, most students will be so concentrate on their study that they are not to be distracted by the digital devices.

    In addition, cell phone and social networking Web site give children myriad access to a large variety of information. Those materials online or in the phone broaden children’s knowledge and thus are great contributors to children’s academic scores. For instance, when I was in high school, I often productively uses the searching engine to search for my problems like the grammar issues in literature, statistic obstacles in math and so on. Due to those answers posted online, my problems are solved and my grades improved a good deal.

    To summary, there is no such thing that the innovative technology equipment render educating children a painstaking work. Instead, those equipment free children from the conventional classrooms and prepare them for their future success.

    June 9, 2020 at 9:48 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words. 
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    June 12, 2020 at 8:35 pm

    Education is a big deal, no matter in the past or at present. Every parent put much emphasis on it. However, during study period, the cell phone, online games and social Website can distract children with ease. Consequently, children become less focus on their study. In this case, people begin to wonder whether it becomes more and more difficult for adults to educate the young generation.

    It is hard to deny the fact that the digital devices easily distract adolescents. They dedicate most of their time in things like playing the video phone, chatting with their friends on the phone, posting their routines on the Internet, and so on. As a result, the time put in lesson are limited.

    However, that’s only a small part. The majority of students would concentrate on their academics, especially Chinese students. In my country, there is a crucial test called college entrance exam which tests your academic ability. It represents the dividing line between prominent scholars and common people. Those prominent scholars can get a decent job after graduation, while the common people are merely able to sustain their daily basis. It is no wonder that most of students will work hard to have the perfect grades in that exam. In fact, they will be so concentrate on their study that they will not touch the digital devices.

    In addition, cell phone and social networking Web site give children myriad access to a large variety of information. Those materials online or in the phone broaden children’s knowledge. Therefore, they contribute to children’s academic scores. For instance, when I was in high school, I often posed my problems online, and many warm-hearted people helped me solve those difficulties. What’s more, they provided additional information related to my issues, which broaden my knowledge to large extent.

    In summary, there is no such thing that the innovative those so-called distracting things make educating children a challenging work. Instead, children will put their full attention on their study and they can also benefit from a good variety of materials online.

    June 12, 2020 at 8:40 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Education is a big deal, no matter in the past or at present. Every parent put[s  ] much emphasis on it. [ redundant/big deal ] However, during [ children’s ] study period, the cell phone, online games and social Website[website  ] can distract children (with ease)[unclear  ] . Consequently, [many  ] children become less focus[ed  ] on their study/[ studies ] . In this case, people begin to wonder whether it becomes more and more difficult for adults to educate the young generation.[fail to present your thesis in the introductory paragraph  ]

    It is hard to deny the fact that the [In fact,  ] digital devices [ can ] easily distract adolescents. They[unclear pronoun  ] dedicate most of their time in[  to] things[ the activities such as ] like playing (the video phone,)[ unclear ] chatting with their friends on the phone, posting their routines on the Internet, and so on. As a result, the time put in[  the] lesson are[ is/remains ] limited.

    However, (that’s only a small part)[ unclear ] . The majority of students [, especially Chinese students,  ] would concentrate on their academics, especially Chinese students. In my country[ Take China/Take China as an example ] , there is a crucial test called [The National College Entrance Exam  ] college entrance exam which tests your[  shift of person] [ high school graduates’ ] academic ability[capabilities and preparedness for university studies  ] . It represents the dividing line between prominent scholars and common people. Those prominent scholars can get a decent job after graduation, while the common people are merely able to sustain their daily basis. It is no wonder that most of students will work hard to have the perfect grades in that exam. In fact, [ The exam is so crucial in terms of defining students’ career that youngsters become highly ] they will be so concentrate [ concentrated ] on their study [ studies, ] that they will not touch the digital devices[leaving little time to play digital devices  ] .

    In addition, cell phone[s  ] and social networking Web site [platforms  ] give children myriad access[es  ] to a large variety of information. Those materials [ unclear ] online or (in the phone)[  online] broaden children’s knowledge. Therefore, they[ unclear pronoun ] contribute to children’s academic scores. [For instance, when I was in high school, I often posed my problems online, and many warm-hearted people helped me solve those difficulties. What’s more, they provided additional information related to my issues, which broaden my knowledge to[ a ] large extent.][vague  ]

    In summary, (there is no such thing that the innovative those so-called distracting things )[ unclear ] make educating children a [ article error ] challenging work. Instead, children will put[pay  ] their full attention on[ to ] their study/studies [ , ] and they can also benefit from a good variety of materials online.